The Golden Scallop Page #2

going to patronize them with it. Well patronage is good. It's

like another work for

customers. Patronage!! And could I interest you in a

couple extra slices of bacon,

my little culinary cupcake. Dad, I don't eat pork. Oh yea that's right, that was

your mom. I'm sorry sweatheart,

geez maybe I got some ground turkey, I could make you

some turkey sausages. Hang on

here, I can find them. Nope, it's fine dad. The eggs

are just fine. Oh sh*t. Sh*t! The Golden Scallop people

announced to the public that

we're in the championship, dad. Hey I got some ground beef. I

could make some cheeseburger

omelettes or something like

that. Yea, but it's going to be in

every paper, dad, on every food

website. I mean, we are not ready for this type of

business. What do you want to

do? What are we going to do? This ground beef is no good.

Repeat, do not eat the ground

beef! -Bye dad.

-Hey wait a minute, I got

parmesan! Marcy, Marcy turn your arm up

when you scoop no drip drop on the table. Day

of the announcement, we're

always very busy, we're always

very ready. Come on girls! Move it, move

it, focus. Wendy, keep that

back arched. Chest out, smiles up, capes

back! You all have nice teeth,

that's why you were hired, so use it. Use

the teet and something else.

You know what I'm saying, you

know whatI'm talking about. You know what I mean? Honey

you're doing great. High five! Well something I learned during

the dot-com boom of the

nineties was the importance of leadership. And to remain calm in the

craziest of circumstances. Thank you, Wednesday. We worked hard, but we played

Harder. But now, I just get to play.

Cindy's more the hands on go getter type owner. My

management style is a little more subdued. I like to give the girls and

Corey a look. Just to let them

know I'm supporting them. Man, the nineties were crazy. -There's that scumbag.

-That's our dad Cecil Martin, and he's

poisoning the lobster supply at

Harry's Fish. He actually did that at nine

different places so you can see

he's quite adept at it. Allegedly. I mean, this is the

only one they had the video

evidence of. The only thing redeeming about

this video, is that he's about

to get the business. -Four years of suffering, boom!

-He was tried and convicted of

eco-terrorism over four years ago, and the

public still hasn't forgiven

him, but we have. -I haven't forgiven him.

-On a positive note all of the attention from The

Golden Scallop Championship has

reminded people of an old slogan. -Suck it Martins!!! Don't keep telling people to do

that, it's not good. It's good to see Dad again

though. -You have nice eyes.

-Oh, thank you. Real great, real great, busiest

day of the year and we can't

get one order right. I'm in the weeds and Mikail's

over there, chatting it up with

anyone he can. Sorry Seth, I do

not understand the America, in

mother Russia, communism covers

my ass from working. Oh I would love to have a group

of workers, picking up my slack while I'm in the bear

den making bears all night. But

no, no I'm here. -I'm always here.

-Nicole, could you help Mikail

please since he seemes to be

completely incapable of doing his only

job. He's totally weeded. -What do you mean weeded? I have

customer talking to, what?

-Mikail, I can see the weeds. Okay, I need those two fish and

chips yesterday chef. before, we're fine, we can

totally do this. Maikail get to

work!! Oh great Mikail, why don't you

sweep up the imaginary dust that is why your country

collapsed comrade, right there. That is very funny Seth,

because I am from Belarus and I

was maybe like one, two years

old when Soviet Union fell, so...

-I don't need the monalogue,

just sweep! Just let it go, breath, relax

Seth. You got this. Remember, I

need you for that championship. That's right Lindsay. Stay calm

Seth. Women love the calm. Hi, my name's Seth and I am an

addict. I'm addicted to stress. Haha. No but seriously, I cannot get

enough of deadlines And I think that's why I enjoy

kitchen work so much, and of

course why I love making custom stuffed

bears. Fifteen years ago, I was always

partying. And I was kind of like the cool

guy, to Lindsay and her friends. But, you can't always be the

party animal. Sometimes you gotta be the guy

that makes the party animal. I've been customizing these

bears for almost eight years now. Can't get

enough of it. In the beginning, it was rough

man. Because, I didn't have any direction. But one day, when Lindsay, well she was visiting

from college. And I was showing her my work. She happened to mention how

much she missed the then

recently departed, Rodney Dangerfield.

And it just clicked. Because, every business,

they're looking for

specialization. And it just hit me, make custom

bears that look like dead

celebrities. And thus Obitu-Bears was born and it's

been a hit commercially.

Obitubears.com I was actually suppossed to

have my first gallery appearence in a few weeks, but it

conflicts with the championship. So, I get to fry

cook instead of customizing my Teddy's. Winning the GOlden Scallop

award, it really make Lindsay and Buzz the happiest. And it

would be great to know that we were talented, but most

importantly Lindsay would be

happy. So, I'd rather that then some silly display of stuffed

animals. Isn't that right, Black Beard?

Arrgghhh Matey!! Black Beard. Hahaha. Aaaarrrgh. -Jake, one Lob roll... Oh no.

-Chowder man!! -Hey Doug!

-Jake! -This isn't the cup, sorry Doug.

-Oh, that's my bad, that's my pee cup. I can't tell you

how many times I make that mistake.

-Six times Doug.

-You counted? Yes, I count. Unlike you, you

hobo, I count. In a perfect world, I would

build the rocket ship I've been

designing and put Doug on it and send it into orbit, and get

him lost at the moon. And then

I'd have a remote control and

I'd blow it up at the end and he would die in

space. But not from the

explosion, from the pressure

hitting head, and then jarring Out!!! Hoorah! Lets do this. The Judge loves his rules, but

what makes the GSC so

compelling is the fact that the

audience plays such a large part in the

voting process, accounting for

a total of forty percent of the total score for each

restaurant. Now here's how it

works, each restaurant has one

hour to complete one hundred orders.

They're being judged on flair,

accuracy and they can receive bonus

points for speed. So

theoretically they could earn more than one

hundred points if they really

had a top dog day. Right, the importance of taste.

All that only equals thirty points, which leaves a

whopping seventy points left for taste. Which is, by

far the most important part of the judgeing process to

the judge himself and... (phone ringing) One second. Hey Judge. Yea, I think we could make the

pinata work, sure. Okay, enjoy your shrimp. I love

you too. Okay, Bye. The last part, we can... Right? Okay. Does this fish want to swim

into your mouth and fall into

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