The Good Guy Page #6

- See, you're laughing.

No. It's just why do guys

always pick that book?

I mean, is it in a manual somewhere

on how to speak to women or--

No. I like it because

It shows how wrong

first impressions can be.

You know?

And also, the main character,

Elizabeth Bennett--

Sounds stupid, but she's,

Like, my ideal woman.

Have you ever read Lolita?

''Lolita, my sin, my soul,

standing four feet ten in one sock.''

Hey, you should come to my book club

on Tuesday night.

I think it would be really great

to have a guy for this one.

What about Tommy?

Oh, Tommy would never come.

Plus, there's kind of a no-boyfriend rule.

Yeah.

Sounds like fun.

I'm gonna have to

politely decline, though.

Oh, come on.

Just you and five cute girls

and a lot of wine.

- Tommy.

- Hey.

See you saved me

the trouble of introductions.

Yeah, good timing.

You have to convince Daniel

to come to my book club.

- Book club.

- Yeah.

That sounds like a great idea.

Really? why?

First of all, you would be talking

to actual women,

even if it is about books.

Well, come on. I'm sure

he does just fine with the ladies.

- Don't you?

- Not really, no.

And secondly, it would give

me endless opportunities to f*** with you.

That's why I don't think

It's a really good idea.

Good morning, soldier.

Morning.

What are you reading?

Oh, just a book.

What book?

- It's nothing.

- what book?

What is the t--

Pride and Prejudice.

Put that away. Jesus.

What are you,

carpooling with Oprah?

Met a woman--

She reminds me

of the character in the book.

You're doing really lovely

With those language tapes, Jan.

So when you say cute,

do you mean, like,

Iittle kid with gum in his hair cute

- or Brad Pitt cute?

- Somewhere in-between.

See, I don't want this turning into some

Lame episode of The Bachelor.

Hey, I thought women were supposed

to love men in uniform.

Yeah, government salaries

and post-traumatic stress

really do it to me nasty.

And we've met Tommy's work friends.

No, but he's nothing like those guys.

If anything, he's too old-fashioned.

What, he still prefers vaginal sex?

Ooh, old school, yeah.

You said you invited him later.

I did.

Oh, I need my--

- Okay, come on, girl.

- Just think about this as a tryout.

You guys are pathetic.

- You look cute. You're adorable.

- Thank you.

Hello.

It's Daniel.

He's polite and early.

- Yeah, he's gay.

- He's not gay.

- He was in the military.

- Gay.

Yeah, don't ask, don't tell.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Come on in.

I got you this.

- Oh, thank you.

- It's wine.

Yeah. So, you have

to meet everybody.

Daniel, this is Lisa,

Jordan, Susan, and Jill.

Hi, everyone.

Hi.

Sorry I'm so early.

No, no.

We were just having some girl talk.

- Just sat down.

- well, I can just come back

- if you guys are--

- No, please.

- Sit.

- Yeah, come on.

And apparently, they've

never seen a man before.

Ever.

I know it's a classic,

but I can't get past

this old, Euro-trash pervert

screwing a 12-year-old

from New Hampshire.

- It's disgusting.

- And the way he bribes her for sex

With candy

and pocket change?

Daniel, you've been awfully quiet.

Have we scared you out of talking?

Well, I can't disagree

With what's been said so far.

Obviously, yeah,

the guy is really troubled.

- And he's--

- Pervert. Pedophile.

Let him finish.

Yes. But I believe that

he was hopelessly in love.

You know, doesn't make it okay,

but he's not just a pervert.

- Yeah. He's a murderer too.

- Okay, all right.

Years later, he kills the man

that stole his Lolita.

But he loved her more than anything.

Even his own life.

I think that's what love is.

Anything else is just...

a distraction.

Should we choose another book?

- For next time?

- Yeah.

Will you be able to join us next time?

Uh, okay,

but I kind of got the feeling

tonight was sort of a tryout.

Oh, no.

- No.

- No.

- You passed.

- Yeah, sure.

You guys can be like

the sisters I never wanted.

- Thanks. Lovely.

- Nice.

All right. well then, is everybody okay

With The Good Soldier?

No. I don't really want

to read a war novel.

Oh, no, but it's

a love story, isn't it?

Well, here.

''This heartbreaking novel

of infidelity and betrayal

''tells the story of an ex-soldier

''and seemingly perfect gentleman.

'''He was just the sort of man

you could trust your wife with,'

says the tragic narrator of the story.''

- There you go.

- Thanks.

Actually--

You're a total neat freak, aren't you?

Actually, my apartment's a mess.

Therapy for all those years of me

spit-shining my shoes.

I cannot picture you in the military.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

You just don't seem very aggressive.

Are you kidding me?

I was an avionics engineer.

- were you?

- Yeah.

Super-aggressive.

No. My dad, he was in the Air Force,

and the only way I could

afford Princeton was ROTC.

Get up every morning at 6 A. M.,

do some push ups,

they pay for school.

But you didn't finish your service, right?

Tommy said you dropped out.

I didn't mean it like that.

No, it's okay. I--

You have to serve

four years after college

In order to get your loans paid off,

and my commanding officer

served with my dad,

and after three years,

I had some--

I just had some stuff that happened.

And he agreed to get me discharged a year

early.

That's good.

- I think.

- No.

No, it was at the time.

But now I've got a hundred grand

In student loans to pay off.

- God.

- Lot of push ups for nothing.

Well, I wouldn't say nothing.

That would be Tommy.

Hey, come on up.

Guess I should get going, huh?

Okay. well, I'm so glad

you could make it.

And thank you

for offering to clean up.

- It was nice.

- Yeah.

Hey, guys.

How was book club?

It was good.

Are you ever actually

gonna want to leave this city?

Someday, yeah.

Come on, babe, it's late.

My aunt and uncle used to be

these big-shot lawyers.

Working hundred-hour weeks

and never getting to see each other.

One day, they just moved to Colorado

to run this hot air balloon company.

That's great.

Good for them.

It is.

They take people up to watch the sunset

over the Rockies every night.

They get by okay,

and they get to see

each other every day.

And he hasn't thrown her

out of the basket yet?

Come on, babe.

Let's go to sleep.

I was offered a promotion

In San Francisco.

And can you make sure

they arrive this afternoon?

They need to be there

When he gets home.

As long as there's a doorman, sure.

Did you want to fill out a card?

Yes.

You like flowers.

Why don't you just keep them?

This isn't funny.

''Happy Anniversary''?

This has to stop.

I guess I did meet her

about this time last year.

Beth, Beth,

you're mad at me,

and that's exactly what Christie wants.

This has nothing to do with us.

Of course it does.

''We all have a past.''

Remember?

I dealt with mine.

You are not dealing with yours.

What else do you want me to do?

I can get a restraining order.

How does one actually do that?

I'm tired of this.

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