The Good Thief Page #3

Bas-sur-I'Eau."

Get me the file on Bob.

- Bob Montagnet?

- Montagnet, Montana.

Bob le flambeur.

Bob.

What's his passport?

American or French?

Hey. Both.

He's growing old, huh?

- There's gratitude for you.

- He's turned snitch.

Of course he has.

All part of the plan.

- You going to share it with anybody?

- Well, we're being watched.

Tried to enter Monaco yesterday.

Had Roger on my tail.

- So you lost him?

- No, I didn't get there.

Visited my mother's

birthplace instead.

- Where was she born?

- I forget.

But as I was lookin' at the place,

whatever it's called...

- I had an epiphany.

- What's an epiphany?

- We set up two robberies. Just stay with me.

- Huh?

This one takes some time.

We do it on the night

before the Grand Prix.

- Are you crazy?

- Maybe, but hear me out.

Every thief around here has been waiting

for years to pull that one off.

So I set it up, finally.

I know they're watching me.

They know

I'm down on my luck.

- Now, you ever heard of Judas?

- There is a snitch.

Oh, yeah. Always is.

One-time friend. New enemy. Old lover.

You're lucky if you find him

in time to shut him up.

But this time, man,

I don't care.

Maybe I even cultivate him.

- You're not with me.

- Not yet.

On the night before the Grand Prix,

I'm in the casino with you and Paulo.

We pose as gamblers.

We get an inside contact there.

We get the make of the safe, the setup,

as complete as it can be.

But Roger has every cop, every piece of security

in the place watching me.

So what do I do?

What would you do?

- I'd call it off.

- Exactly.

I'd call it off.

But at 5:
00 in the morning.

In the meanwhile, we have a crew in the villa

where the real heist takes place.

And they've had six, maybe seven

uninterrupted hours to secure those paintings.

- Okay.

- It's like those paintings.

- We've got a real heist, and a fake.

- Ah-ha.

With the inner complication

that we want to be betrayed.

Now, let's face it.

We generally are.

There's always someone

turning snitch.

This time we welcome the rat, and I let Roger

stay glued to my ass like a bad hemorrhoid...

I can't get rid of.

- Are we having fun yet?

- We will be, if it works.

Yeah, if it works.

We better talk to your Vladimir.

- Has he a record, this Vladimir?

- Maybe Moscow.

- Why'd he come to you?

- I think it was, uh, pride.

- Pride?

- Yeah. You'll see.

- Stay back and imagine an invisible square.

- I said, stay back and imagine...

an invisible,

motherfucking square.

So?

What do you guys think?

Well, it's impressive, Vlad.

Really.

You've got to imagine, 30 meters high,

Madison Square Garden.

R.E.M. Are

ready to bite.

We meant

your security system, Vlad.

- Oh. You're the heist guys.

Yeah. We're not

the rock 'n' roll guys.

Villa St. Pierre.

Quite complicated, like this.

You know how I was going

to call this? "Purple Haze."

Yeah, good choice, Vlad. Get back

to the security system. How does it work?

The way everything works.

Mathematics.

180 i-points in vertical.

The horizontal the same.

That means,

the points of contact equal.

- 180 squared, that's 32,400.

- Very good. But listen.

The horizontals and the verticals

move against each other.

So, in effect,

I've covered infinity.

If anything moves in there, anything that has

body heat more than rigor mortis...

- What if the power fails?

- Half second delay, the generator kicks in.

Have you ever tried

to heist in half second?

- If the computer fails?

- It cannot.

There is another hard drive connected,

has enough gigabytes to run a cruise missile.

- You know cruise missiles?

- Yeah.

- So it's impregnable?

- Yeah.

- Hi. I'm Vlad.

- Hi. I'm Bob.

- This is Paul.

- Hi, Paul.

- Hi.

- So, why'd you contact us, Vlad?

- Between you and me?

- Yeah.

- I got my family back in Vladivostok

begging me to get them out.

So I got a thinking: The only guy

who could crack impregnable system...

- is the guy who installed it.

- You.

Me. The only way Vlad will crack Vlad system

is with a Vlad system.

- Still with me?

- Almost.

Villa St. Pierre.

I build it here in front of you.

- Same dimensions, to the centimeter.

I match the movement of the sensors

in my set after those in the villa.

I get into the system so they read what's here,

not what's there.

- Oh.

- Then there is a problem of sound.

- The sound?

- You heist guys make a noise, no?

Wire mesh built into the walls,

floor and the ceiling.

Detects noisy, hammering

heist guys.

The same thing,

I build it here.

The exact dimension.

The alarm rings here...

- but noisy heist guys hammering there.

- Can you do all this?

- I live in hope. Tell you next week.

- Oh.

How do you plug in

to their system?

Their system needs upgrading

every six months.

And my next visit is due

Tuesday, next week.

I could leave there

a beetle.

- Beetle?

- Sorry. It's the wrong word. A "bug."

A miniature fifth column.

Takes instructions from you.

- And, uh, I need a equal partnership.

- Oh.

A "favored nation."

- It's a deal.

- Deal?

Yeah.

So.

How do we pay for this?

The son

was sold to a devil.

Do you know what Einstein said

about roulette, Anne?

- What?

- It can only be beaten by a gambler...

with infinite capital, playing in a game

without limits for eternity.

- So why play?

- Einstein didn't believe in luck.

- Black.

- You're gonna tell me I have to go now, right?

- You can't stay here, Anne.

Paulo's waiting for you

in the car.

What if I said no?

Well, I think Paulo

would be very disappointed.

- No.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

My, my.

- Mm. Bob. Oh!

He thinks the sun shines

out of your eyes.

No, he thinks

it shines out of yours.

And the moon.

He imitates you, Bob.

He's a good kid.

Some girls prefer

the real thing.

Oh, ho, you think

I'm the real thing?

You said I'd always

have a home.

If you choose.

He's giving you a job, isn't he?

- So he says.

- So, what else does he say?

"I love you."

All the time.

Only one solution.

Say it back.

I can't.

I never could.

- So, my place?

- You promise I won't regret it?

I promise.

- Yeah, I'd heard the legend.

- Pamplona. Pablo bet on the matador...

- I bet on the bull.

- And the matador got how many stitches?

- Twenty-six.

- I never believed until now.

Amazing. I mean, the place

to sell this is New York.

No, no, no, no.

Can't go back there.

I'd heard that too.

So, what do you want?

- An advance against the salary.

You take your commission.

- Forty percent.

Do we argue that now?

No. Not now.

So, when can I see it?

Milk. Straight up.

- You going through

your second childhood, Bob?

- Twelve steps.

I think I'm on two and a half.

Chin-chin.

- I spoke to Petit Louis.

- So?

- Is he interested?

- Interested enough to talk to you.

Good. We'll need

Fernandez, Luigi and Bill.

- You've turned down Philippe?

- Yeah, all the apostles.

And here comes

one candidate for Judas.

So, they let you out, my friend.

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