The Grand Page #11
Pocket tens.
Big slick, ace-king.
Holy sh*t.
And here's the turn.
It's the jack of hearts.
That's no help to Harold.
He still needs a ten,
or he's gonna be
eliminated in third place.
An ace on the river
gives Jack Faro
two pair, aces and kings.
Harold Melvin
has been eliminated.
Good game.
You played well.
You, too.
I came into the table
at a tremendous
chip disadvantage.
I played as well as I could,
but the odds were against me
from the beginning.
Are we done?
Harold.
We're down to
heads-up action between
Lainie Schwartzman
and Jack Faro.
The winner of this tournament
will take home $10 million,
and the money's
out on the table.
Think about
what this buys, Phil.
That's three luxury homes,
that's 10 or 15 sports cars,
that's countless
items of jewelry.
And how many speedboats?
Speedboats.
Um, that would, uh--
It would depend
on the speedboat.
A $500,000 speedboat.
Do the math.
You can probably do it
on the back of an envelope.
Off the top of your head.
It's, uh--
That's-- It's 11.
Well, maybe I was thinking of
a different kind of speedboat.
Or maybe you're
just a f***ing idiot.
[sighs]
Pressure.
A lot of pressure, Jack.
Sure is.
And we're heads up.
Lainie with
a slight chip lead.
She's been quietly
building that stack all day.
6-8 of hearts.
A playable hand here
for Jack.
Yeah.
Looks like he's
going to call.
Action on Lainie.
I'll raise.
[Dealer]
Raising.
And she's gonna raise.
[Dealer]
1.2 million more.
2.4 speedboats.
There it is. Call.
Jack makes the call.
And now
the all-important flop.
7, 6, 4 on the flop
for Lainie.
She has an open-ended
straight draw.
She needs a 3 or an 8
to make the straight.
[Dealer]
$2 million.
Jack with the best hand.
A pair of 6s.
All in.
That's 2 million,
and he goes all in.
Great read from Jack Faro.
I'm gonna call.
And Lainie will
make the call.
Holy sh*t-f***ers.
Jack is 66% to win.
What are you gonna do
with the money, Jack?
I'm gonna save
the Rabbit's Foot.
I kind of think my grandpa
would've appreciated it.
What about you?
I've got five babies
to put through college.
Wow.
Yeah.
So this oughta do it for 'em.
And, uh, you know...
Fred has some good ideas.
That's your lucky husband.
My very lucky husband.
[Dealer]
If Lainie wins,
she's the champion.
F***. I need
some f***ing cards, man.
Let's see 'em.
Holy sh*t.
Open ended straight draw,
up and down.
He's got a pair of 6s,
with a gutshot straight draw.
Gonna need a 3.
I need an ace.
Ace.
Come on.
An 8.
[Dealer]
Ace.
Lainie is the grand champion.
[crowd cheers]
Ace on the river.
Aw, sh*t!
Oh, sh*t.
You take this now.
It brought me luck.
It'll bring you luck.
It'll bring you
f***ing luck, Jack.
Yeah, I'm gonna need it.
[crowd cheers]
What? No.
No, you didn't.
Yes!
No, you didn't!
Yes, I did!
You didn't!
Yes, I did! I did it!
Son of a b*tch!
No! No!
Shh! Shh!
Don't wake up the kids.
What'd you do?
I did it. I swear.
[stammers]
Okay.
You gotta bend back
when you do that.
You gotta bend back.
Okay, I'll bend back.
Oh, man.
I don't believe it.
I know. I know.
Oh, God, I wish I came.
I should've saw it.
No, no, no.
You were here.
How did your night go?
Hey, did you get Manning?
I did.
I got Manning.
You did?
Yeah.
This is unbelievable.
It's like--
you won 10 million,
I got Manning.
It's like
a $20 million night.
I know.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Grandpa.
Are you-- Are you--
Yeah, Jack.
Are you warm in that coat?
No, I'm a ghost.
Oh. So-- Because we didn't
bury you in that.
I just wondered, did you
get to pick your own outfit?
Jack, I'm not here
to give you
a f***ing seminar
on the hereafter.
I'm here to talk about
the Rabbit's Foot and you.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Grandpa.
I just f***ed that up.
Now, you listen to me.
I started this
because I liked it.
I liked kneecapin' people.
I liked cheating 'em,
I liked taking their money
and watching their dreams
swirl down the toilet.
Deuce and I are like that.
You're not like that.
You just do it because
you think you have to.
Well, that's a waste of time.
Go live your life.
Want to shut up?
I'm trying to take a leak.
What about your legacy,
Grandpa?
Aw, I don't care
about that anymore.
I'm dead. You can dig up
my corpse and piss on it
for all I care.
Maybe you fags
should get a room.
You ever had your ass
kicked by a ghost,
cocksucker?
Grandpa!
Grandpa?
Jack grew up
in this business.
Jack knows what
he's getting into.
And if he would've won,
he would've been a hero.
The Rabbit's Foot
would've survived.
I don't know.
Now they're doing something
else with it, I guess.
But it's like
everything else,
you know?
One of these days
they'll blow that up, too.
Mr. Lavisch.
Renee.
First of all,
let me apologize, uh,
for calling you
a ridiculous,
pathetic excuse
for a human being.
I would humbly
ask you to consider
letting me back
on to the Lavisch team.
You know what the problem is?
It's really two rooms,
isn't it?
It is.
It's not one room,
it's two rooms.
Yeah.
That's really what it is.
It's two rather than one.
At first it's hard to notice.
Dad, can I just
get my job back?
And then we could
move on from this.
Look, two things.
First of all,
you don't call me Dad
unless it's Thanksgiving
or your birthday.
My birthday.
I know.
What's the second thing?
Thanksgiving, birthday.
That's two.
Put on your hard hat.
Sorry. Safety first.
[Andy]
I read a book
by a guy named Werbe
who said "change
your personality,"
and I looked at it as
that was just one more
piece of ammunition
I could use
that nobody else
would know.
We're gonna go undercover
to The Grand.
We're gonna--
We've never played
poker before.
We don't know
what we're doing.
We're so dumb,
we're from the Midwest.
Of course, I've played online.
Of course, I've sat
at my computer.
I've won over
a million dollars online.
And it worked.
I come in pretending
not to know anything.
I'm this guy Andy Andy,
and I take out Phil Hellmuth
and Doyle Brunson.
All right, I didn't win,
but jeez, it was great.
[waves, sea birds]
I lost. I came in third.
Ruth disappeared one day,
and I thought that she had
been abducted or murdered,
but then she called
and said that she had moved.
Frank Werbe has theories
that suggest
mental impairment,
so, not surprisingly,
Ruth made a poor choice
in running away with him.
I am alone in my
condominium now,
which is neither
good nor bad.
It is simply
the present reality.
[Larry]
Things are good.
Things are really good.
Believe it or not,
I still play a lot of poker,
but I--
not as competitively.
I've been teaching poker
to American Indians,
trying to get them in it.
My sister.
And, you know, I've actually
been spending a lot of time
with Lainie and Fred
and the kids
and hanging out with them,
and, you know,
I've started seeing
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