The Grand Budapest Hotel Page #9

DMITRI:

(hesitates)

You are, but you’re bisexual!

M. GUSTAVE

(pause)

Let’s change the subject. I’m leaving.

M. Gustave turns and, assisted by Serge and a staggeringZero, exits the room.

INT. KITCHEN. NIGHT

Clotilde rushes to M. Gustave’s assistance as Sergebrings him through the door. She brushes his shouldersand smooths his hair. Serge shouts frantically in Frenchand guides them all back into his butler’s pantry. Zeroholds his glass of milk against his ear like an ice-

pack. Serge and Clotilde yell at each other while the

40.

other servants race in and out of the kitchen,

panicking. They disappear again into the next room.

M. Gustave and Zero, alone for a moment, catch theirbreath. M. Gustave pants:

M. GUSTAVE

That picture -- “Boy with Apple” -- ispriceless. Understand?

ZERO:

(hopeful)

Congratulations, M. Gustave!

M. GUSTAVE

They’re going to fight me for the son ofa b*tch.

ZERO:

Is it very beautiful?

M. GUSTAVE

(swooning)

Beyond description.

(reciting)

“E’en the most gifted bard’s rhyme canonly sing but to the lack of her and all

she isn’t! His tongue doth trip --”

ZERO:

Can I see it?

M. Gustave looks surprised. Pause.

M. GUSTAVE

I don’t see why not.

M. Gustave zooms out through the scullery and into alittle stairwell. Zero follows. They spiral up a steepflight.

CUT TO:

A wide landing overlooking the foyer. The voices of thebickering assembly echo from the rear of the house. M.

Gustave looks quickly left and right, then darts downthe hallway and through a set of double doors.

INT. LIBRARY. NIGHT

A long, narrow gallery lined from floor-to-ceiling withbooks and paintings. M. Gustave leads Zero straightthrough to the far end where “Boy with Apple” hangsabove a fire-place. He stands beside it facing Zero andassumes the role of a museum docent:

41.

M. GUSTAVE

This is van Hoytl’s exquisite portrayalof a beautiful boy on the cusp ofmanhood. Blond, smooth. Skin as white asthat milk.

(pointing to Zero’s glass)

Of impeccable provenance. One of the lastin private hands -- and, unquestionably,

the best. It’s a masterpiece. The rest ofthis sh*t is worthless junk.

M. Gustave and Zero stand side-by-side and admire thepicture for a long minute -- then Zero looks strangelyto M. Gustave. M. Gustave looks back at him, curious.

Zero’s eyes flicker. M. Gustave frowns.

Zero goes to the corner, picks up a foot-stool, andplaces it on the hearth.

M. Gustave hesitates. He steps up onto the foot-stool.

He lifts the painting off its hooks. He comes back downto the floor. There is a dark rectangle in the wallpapermarking the absent picture. He turns to Zero again,

uncertain.

Behind the fire-irons, leaning against a stack ofetchings, Zero spots a wood-cut print of two lesbiansmasturbating. He grabs it and hangs it in the painting’splace.

INT. FOYER. NIGHT

M. Gustave and Zero circle rapidly down the widestaircase. Serge comes into the room at the same timeand meets them as they arrive at the front door. He saysbreathlessly:

SERGE:

M. Gustave! Pardonnez-moi. Ce n’est pas -Serge

sees the painting tucked under M. Gustave’s arm.

He stares at it. He says reluctantly:

SERGE:

Je peux vous aider?

M. GUSTAVE

Oui, Serge. Vous pouvez emballer celuila.

SERGE:

(hesitates)

Emballer -- “Boy with Apple”?

M. Gustave nods and hands Serge the picture. Serge takesit. Pause. He goes over to a bureau, withdraws a large

42.

sheet of wrapping-paper, folds it around the painting,

and ties it with string. He returns the parcel to M.

Gustave.

M. GUSTAVE

Merci, Serge.

Serge opens the front door. M. Gustave and Zero quicklygo outside and get into the taxi. Serge, overwhelmed andconfused, with tears in his eyes, looks in at themthrough one of the back-seat windows. M. Gustave rollsit down.

M. GUSTAVE

What’d you want to tell me? Before.

SERGE:

(long pause, with a heavy accent)

I think I cannot say right now.

M. GUSTAVE

(short pause)

Write me tomorrow.

(sharply to the driver)

Lutzbahn Station!

The taxi’s tires squeal, and the car shoots down thedriveway. Serge watches, deeply anguished and disturbed.

INT. TRAIN COMPARTMENT. NIGHT

A sleeper on the over-night to Nebelsbad. The bunks havebeen folded down and made-up, and both M. Gustave andZero wear pajamas. (M. Gustave’s are of burgundy silkand belted.) “Boy with Apple”, partially unwrapped, ison display balanced along the edge of the wash-basin. M.

Gustave says soberly:

M. GUSTAVE

I’ll never part with it. It reminded herof me. It will remind me of her. Always.

I’ll die with this picture above my bed.

(quickly)

See the resemblance?

M. Gustave positions himself alongside the painting.

Zero mutters politely from his bed:

ZERO:

Oh, yes.

M. Gustave lies down. He stares up at the ceiling.

Pause.

43.

M. GUSTAVE

Actually, we should sell it. Soonerrather than later, in case they try andsteal it back. Plus: something aboutthose lunatic foot-soldiers on the

express -- I think this could be a trickywar and a long dry-spell in the hoteltrade. For all we know, they could boardus up tomorrow.

Zero looks alarmed. M. Gustave sits up again and signalsfor him to come closer. Zero joins him.

M. GUSTAVE

Let’s make a solemn blood-pact. We’llcontact the black-market and liquidate“Boy with Apple” by the end of the week,

then leave the country and lay lowsomewhere along the Maltese Riviera untilthe troubles blow over and we resume our

posts. In exchange for your help, yourloyalty, and your services as my personalvalet, I pledge to you: one-point-fivepercent of the net sale-price.

Zero takes this in. He says quietly:

ZERO:

One-point-five.

M. GUSTAVE

Plus room and board.

ZERO:

(optimistic)

Could we make it ten?

M. GUSTAVE

(in disbelief)

Ten? Are you joking? That’s more than I’dpay an actual dealer -- and you wouldn’t

know chiarascuro from chicken giblets.

No, one-point-five is correct -- but I’lltell you what: if I die first, and I mostcertainly will, you: will be my sole

heir. There’s not much in the kittyexcept a set of ivory-backed hairbrushesand my library of romantic poetry -- but,

when the time comes, these will be yours,

along with whatever we haven’t alreadyspent on whores and whiskey. This is oursacred bond. I’ll draw it up right now.

Pause. Zero nods. M. Gustave whisks a drinks menu out of

a slot on the wall, places it face-down on the night

44.

stand, and sets a fountain pen on top of it. Hedictates:

M. GUSTAVE

I, M. Gustave H, being of relativelysound mind and body, on this day thetwenty-seventh of October in the year ofour Lord nineteen hundred and -Zero

quickly uncaps the pen and begins to write.

INT. STORAGE PANTRY. DAY

The next morning. A vault adjacent to the meeting roomabove the lobby. There are rows of safety-deposit boxeswith engraved room-numbers along the walls. M. Gustavehides the wrapped package behind a radiator. He takes afur stole off a coat hangar and drapes it awkwardly overthe top. They exit the room. M. Gustave closes theheavy, inner door and spins the combination lock, thenslides an outer one shut and bolts it with a key.

Rate this script:4.3 / 3 votes