The Grand Illusion Page #3

---

I'm afraid of what I'll find.

There's more than

one woman on earth!

Not for me.

That's why she sleeps around.

One thing upsets me,

leaving Marchal behind.

I dislike it too.

In fact... it irks me.

Sentiment has no place in war.

Good to see you, old man.

Same here.

I'll tell you why in a minute.

Tell me, old man...

Is there anything to eat?

I'm hungry...

Sit down.

Rosenthal's making some food.

What's the time?

Eleven o'clock.

How time drags today!

Never mind, tonight it's goodbye.

See you in Amsterdam.

I'm looking forward to the tulips

in Holland.

What about the cheese?

Don't you like Dutch cheese?

Yes, but apparently the tulip fields

stretch for miles and miles.

You're as romantic as a girl.

General roll-call at three.

All officers are to change camp.

Get your things ready.

A pleasant journey, gentlemen...

And I hope you will soon see

your wives again.

Perhaps we should warn them.

- About what?

- The hole.

About the tunnel.

Careful.

We dug a tunnel in room 7, Sir.

A tunnel for escaping.

You not speak French.

Hole dug. To escape.

Get back in line!

OFFICERS PRISON CAMP N 2

OFFICERS PRISON CAMP N 9

OFFICERS PRISON CAMP N 14

Open the window, it stinks in here.

I'm afraid there are only two pairs

of white gloves left, Sir.

And we can't get any more,

so try and make them last.

Yes, Sir... Some more coffee, Sir?

If you call that muck coffee,

it's all right with me.

At least it will warm me up.

The list of new prisoners, Sir.

The new prisoners are here.

Three new prisoner-of-war officers

reporting, Sir!

Hello, gentlemen.

Delighted to see you again,

Boeldieu...

But sorry it should be here.

We too...

Sit down, gentlemen.

No, thank you, Sir.

At ease.

Captain de Boeldieu.

Four attempts at escape...

Via the boiler-room, a refuse pit...

Through the sewers,

in a laundry basket.

Humility is sometimes a necessity...

I understand.

Lieutenant Marchal,

five attempts at escape.

Disguised as a sweep...

Pardon, Sir, hot-air expert.

Disguised as a German soldier,

disguised as a woman.

Very funny, very funny indeed...

Not so funny when an N.C.O. took me

for a woman, not to my taste at all!

- Really?

- Honestly!

Lieutenant Demolder,

three attempts...

Gentlemen,

I respect your patriotism

and courage.

But here the situation

is completely different.

No one can escape from this fortress.

You understand me, don't you?

So there can be no accusations

of German barbarism,

I decided to apply

French regulations.

Read it.

It makes good night-time reading.

And now, gentlemen,

if you will follow me...

Oswald, my coat!

My men are not young,

but they enjoy playing soldiers.

We have 25 like that.

I suppose you know

the Maxim's gun?

Very well, Sir.

I prefer the restaurant.

Is that a dig at me?

Twelfth century.

Excuse me, Sir, but...

was this villa built specially

for Captain de Boeldieu and myself?

Sorry?

Are we your only guests?

No.

Your comrades are behind there.

Thirteenth...

A drop of 120 feet.

Very kind of you

to show us round your place.

A very handsome castle...

So old...

And so cheerful...

So sorry I can't give you

a room to yourself.

Thank you, but I would not have

accepted in any case.

I trust the walk did not tire you.

Not at all, Sir, we're fine.

- Fourteenth...

- It's pure Gothic.

Excuse me. We have to search you.

Your friend Lieutenant Rosenthal

from Heilbard Camp is here.

- Good old Rosenthal!

- We've the same bad luck!

You are to share the same room.

That way you will have better food.

That's nice. Really nice.

A mere formality.

I'll tell the Commander anyway.

Look at that!

- In my case, it was a brunette.

- Who can you trust?

A friend of my mother's.

She did a lot for charity.

Bad luck, it's not a very common

disease in high society.

Eh, Boeldieu?

Yes...

but it's a vanishing privilege.

Like so much else,

it's become popularized.

Cancer and gout are not

working-class diseases, but...

they will be, believe me.

How about intellectuals?

In our case, it's tuberculosis.

Here's Mr Pindar!

And the middle-class?

Liver ulcers... they eat too much.

We'd each die

of our own class ailment,

if war didn't make all germs equal.

Your dictionaries are in my way.

Forgive me,

but Pindar has always been

so badly translated...

A sad oversight.

I am broken-hearted.

Not that I care

but who is Pindar?

Joke away! But he means more to me

than your life,

the war, or my own life!

Pindar is the greatest Greek poet.

The greatest Greek poet?

Well, I'm blowed...

There! My map's

as near as dammit complete.

See... this is where we are.

To enter Switzerland

above Lake Constance

and bypass the Rhine,

we'll have to cover...

- 200 miles.

- No kidding?

Reckon 15 nights forced march,

on 6 lumps of sugar

and 2 biscuits a day.

You're as crazy as he is

with his Pindar!

To get out of this place...

There! My picture's finished.

Justice Pursues Crime...

Not bad is it?

Look here,

to get to Lake Constance...

Will it hold?

It'll take 10 of you and 5 like me!

They're searching the rooms.

- Under the mattress, quick!

- No, under mine!

That's no good!

Too obvious.

May I?

What a brainwave!

A very handy little gutter.

Here they are!

Gentlemen, room inspection!

Louise wrote to Victor:

"I am as weary as a girl

after twenty-two nights of love..."

Twenty-two nights of love,

imagine it!

Continue!

This part won't be searched!

Give me your word that there is

nothing in here against regulations.

You have my word.

But why mine rather than the others?

The word of a...

Rosenthal?

Or a Marchal?

Their word is as good as ours.

Maybe.

No, not that book!

It's very rare.

Poor old Pindar!

They're so ignorant...

Did it go all right for you here?

- Not bad.

- For us too.

And how's your cousin,

Edmond de Boeldieu,

who was Military Attach in Berlin?

He is well and happy.

He lost an arm

and married a very rich wife.

A fine career!

Remember her?

Sit down.

I'll tell you something...

Believe me...

my present job

disgusts me as much as you.

Strong words.

I used to be a fighter...

Now I am a civil servant...

a policeman.

But it's the only way

in which I can still...

appear to be serving my country.

Burns everywhere.

That is why I wear gloves.

Spine fractured in two places.

A silver plate.

My knee-cap is silver too.

This wealth I owe

to the fortunes of war.

- May I ask a question?

- Of course.

Why did you make...

an exception for me...

inviting me here?

You are a de Boeldieu,

a regular officer of the French Army.

And I a Rauffenstein, a regular

officer of the Imperial German Army.

But... my friends are officers too.

A Marchal and a Rosenthal,

officers?

Good soldiers...

Thanks to your French Revolution!

I fear neither you nor I

can arrest the march of time.

I don't know

who will win this war...

The end, whatever it may be,

will mean the end of

the Rauffensteins and the Boeldieux.

We may be superfluous.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes