The Great Buddha +

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Hello ladies and gentlemen

This film is a joint production

of MandarinVision and Creamfilm

with help from industry-acclaimed

Creamfilm Production Co.

We invited the industry's

notoriously difficult Miss Yeh

and Mr. Chung to act as producers

I'm the director

who saw it through to the end

A-Yao

Over the course of the film

I will from time to time

chime in with a few words

to share my own ideas

and explain the story

Please enjoy the film

I won't bother you for now

I'll appear again

when necessary

Motherf***er

What the f***'s that drumming?

The beat's all f***ed up

Pigeon

You haven't even weighed it

Only 100?

This brick here

has thousands of bottles

and it's barely over NT5000

I drop more on the ground

than what you pick up

Come on

NT100

It'll be gone in one meal

Belly Button

My business used to be small

Now it's grown

Frankly

I don't deal in your tiny volumes anymore

If it wasn't that we're classmates

I wouldn't take this

One hundred's not enough?

One hundred twenty?

How about I give you one fifty?

Ma

Sorry I'm late

Are you feeling better?

Yes, still a bit dizzy

Ma, how about

I ask the nurse to get you another drip?

All right

All right?

Nurse

Could you please give my mother

another IV drip?

It's almost 5 already

We can't hook up another IV

Please

Please

Nurse

Obama

How much longer?

Just a bit longer

You think I'm playing in here?

It's hot as f***

My underwear's soaked

Hot as hell

Your friend's here

Motherf***er

You only come when there's food?

No

I took my mom to the health center

Work's almost over

Start cleaning up

In this factory, everyone shows

concern for a mother's welfare

It's a form of human considerateness

Pickle has temp jobs during the daytime

He works here as night watchman

He sweeps the factory

before everyone leaves

Froggy, what are you doing?

Be careful

Froggy, can you be nice?

You're making me deaf

What now?

Not happy with work?

No, no, no

Why's the Buddha head like that?

The one yelling in front

is the factory boss, Kevin

The one grabbing ass in the back

is Congressman Gao

and his assistant Valrie

Although Gao won't have many scenes

the story of his struggle

is worth our attention

Ten years ago

from street-level political organizer

he climbed to congressman

After his fifth consecutive election

the deputy speaker sent him

a fine mahogany table

But ever since Valrie arrived

Congressman Gao's mahogany table

suddenly grew a new panel

It's mainly for the benefit

of Valerie's work

When others conduct business

on the computer

Valrie hides underneath

and operates Congressman Gao's joystick

This room's dark as pitch

How can we get customers like this?

My boss said it would cut costs

There's usually no one here

Everything depends on the room inside

anyway

Young man, Make me some instant noodles

with egg

You still want that?

Thank you

Business is good today

It's getting by

One order of noodles

with one egg

Are you f***ing kidding?

A grocery and game shop isn't enough

now we have to cook noodles too?

You think I can do this all by myself?

Belly Button loves crane games

It's hard to understand

why a middle-aged man

would take an interest in them

I always wanted to ask Belly Button

why he likes crane games so much

Crane games are like therapy

How're you and Little Orchid doing?

Another guy stole her

Who's the culprit?

A young factory worker fresh from the army

So impressive

He's very tall

and has a car

Having a girlfriend's just a waste of money

For you

going home and humping the wall

should be enough

Pickle

Pickle

Pickle

Coming

Stop yelling

Is your boss here?

He's out rubbing elbows

Motherf***er

He's always drinking and rubbing elbows

Can you work without rubbing elbows?

Does he pay you much then?

What were you doing just now?

Nah, I'm helping our boss clean

that old Benz

He ought to drive the new one

Just write that old one off for me to sell

You see

Don't say I don't treat you well

I came here specially

to show you this beauty

Why's it sticky?

Goddamn

Just appreciate it

Don't fuss

Look

Damn good shots

That ass is soft and smooth

The photographer should've won

the Nobel Prize

F***

Just chewing that underwear

would make life worth living

I can give you this pair to chew

You can chew it yourself

Your boss has got it good

Studying abroad

a beautiful wife

a good car

his whole family moved to America

That's life

Birth is eight-tenths of destiny

Even the richest

still eat only three meals a day

F***

Let's eat a fourth meal now

You make tea

Wait for me

I'll go fetch some good stuff

First of all, let's introduce

our impeccable

Commissioner of Culture

Let's have a round of applause

One of us

Next, let's introduce

the artist who studied in America

Chairman Kevin

As for myself

Everyone knows

I am the deputy speaker

Bill Small

Applause

Louder

More enthusiasm

Let me say

I usually charge big bills

But we're buddies

so for you, I Bill Small

See how moderate I am

Come

First of all, let's invite our brother

to sing a song

Warm yourselves up first

Let's welcome our bureau chief

and our artist

All right?

Let's give him a round of applause

Bamboo shoots, once harvested,

stiffen quickly

without Li Hua Fan's magic,

who moves mountain and sea

A girl in love should marry

Don't let her fall into harlotry

As the ripened rice field fears the typhoon

the girl fears her pregnancy discovered

too soon

Left hand pulls dress over

her swollen bulge

Right hands beckons customers to indulge

As the sugarcane is hard but full of juice

The tea shop girl is sweet but keeps aloof

Using thousands upon

thousands of his coin

Right?

when he invites her to walk

she's too busy to join

It's really enough

I'm pissed off

The sun blazes over the land in June

She invites him to travel to Penghu

By planes, ferries, and automobiles

Luxurious seafood for three meals

Wax apple blossoms redden every tree

But on one, a fierce wasp can be seen

Ah

There's a car parked outside

A woman's standing next to it

This one

Don't worry about what's outside

She must be here to see your boss

There wasn't much today

Good thing I went early

or it would've been sold out

Why do you always bring cold curry?

You can't warm it with your lighter?

Be glad you can eat

You're so picky

Goddamn

This is broken

It's been broken for days

This curry has only carrots

Not a scrap of meat

If it's broken, you don't fix it?

If you're so great

then go find a new one for me

How can you eat without television?

What's good on TV?

This bit's frozen

Can't break it apart

We can just watch the news

All they do now

is show car dashcam videos and call it news

Pickle

Your boss' old car

that Benz

Is he still driving it?

Not in a long time

Does he have a dashcam set up?

He should

Take it out and have a look

See where he's been doing his good deeds

Don't snoop in people's stuff

My boss is very mean

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