The Great Buddha + Page #2

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To hell with that

When you finish, will you tell your boss

"Boss,"

"I took a look at your dashcam"

"I know the good deeds you've been doing"

Would you say that?

If you don't tell him, how will he know?

Go get it

Still pussying out?

Did your ass grow roots?

Come on

If he finds out

you can cut my head off and sit on it

What's there to see on a dashcam?

I can't tell if you're innocent or an idiot

Whoa

It got hard

It got hard after touching you

Really

Are you rock-hard?

Well then

you want it?

I want it

What do you want?

I want you to f*** me

Kevin had left the pond earlier that day

with Gucci

to come to this mysterious place

He asked Gucci to do

some liver maintenance

and prostate detoxification

During that time

the lady in the middle of the field

called, looking for Kevin

She kept calling and calling

until the sky grew dark

as Kevin's phone rang like a madman

You're so wet

You're so hard

So big

Is it very big?

It's big

I love you f***ing me

Like this?

Yeah, go deeper

Call me Puta

Call me Puta

Who's Puta?

I'm Puta

Puta

I'm your Puta

Puta

Puta

Puta

Come inside

I want you to come in me

I want to f*** you

Come inside

Miss Yeh

Behave yourself

you're already a grown woman

Shouldn't you be sleeping at this hour?

You want to f*** that old hag Yeh,

or f*** me?

You want to f*** that old hag Yeh,

or f*** me?

I want to f*** you

Then f*** my brains out

Louder

Then f*** my brains out

F*** me

That's good

I love when you f*** me

So good

Oh, so good

Hello

Miss Yeh

Do you have business with Kevin baby

this late?

Please pass the phone to your Kev

I have something important to say to him

You're hard to find

Is it that difficult for us

to meet face to face?

Why don't you answer?

Speak

Don't think I don't know

You're up to some low-down bullshit

Kevin Huang

I'm giving you one last chance

Find time to meet me right now

or whatever happens after this

will be on your head

All right

Our old spot

That woman left

What'd you bring that for?

Didn't you say to get the dashcam?

You can't just get the memory card?

Why'd you pull the whole damn thing down?

How should I know what card?

You'd need a map to scratch your ass

Bring it here

For the normally timid Belly Button

it's only in Pickle's office

that he can speak boldly

His entire life

it's only in this cramped cell of a room

that he can find a little confidence

Here, this

It's called a memory card

It's so small

Fellow countrymen

What exactly is a dashboard camera?

It's a miracle of modern science

The mini-camera that defines this era

Mounted in the car

It records the view outside the windshield

If there's a traffic dispute

you can pull out the recording as evidence

After all,

what the modern person considers is

where there are images

there is truth

The sounds recorded by the dashcam

are sounds within the car

So what we are about to hear

is the horseplay in Kevin's car

What grade are you in?

Junior this year

Junior

In college

I bet if we just played a little,

you'd already be wet

Let me see

Do we need to go so fast?

We're still driving

Hold on a second

In modern society, time is money

F***

Talk about great timing

Hello

Hello, special assistant

Do you know this special assistant?

I don't

Let me inform you of the situation

Yes, I understand

I understand, special assistant

No problem

Because that's next quarter's funding

Yes

Yes

Your boss turns into a real p*ssy

on the phone

Don't bad-mouth people like that

It's true

He usually acts all dignified

Special assistant,

please inform the Congressman

Yes

Thank you special assistant

Good night, special assistant

F***

Always first in line for money

but ask for a favor, and he disappears

Your boss is good at acting

As soon as he hangs up, his mood flips

Where were we?

You haven't even asked my name yet

We're here

Oh, right

What's your name?

I'm Cindy

Cindy, huh

Cindy, what made you want to do this?

- Cindy

- Yeah

Because I want to study abroad

Hello, welcome to the Forbidden City

Would you like a rest, or overnight stay?

Rest

For a three hour rest,

there's 1280, 1680, 1980

1980, thank you

This place really isn't cheap

Three hours, 1980

It's highway robbery

Please have a relaxing time

Where do you want to go?

What's New York?

The New York in America

That woman standing in the harbor

holding a torch

wearing a shower cap

The driveway's so long

There's even Christmas lights

Look, the life of the rich

It's so colorful

We're here

Why'd they stop?

Aren't you smart

They arrived, what else would they do?

You want them to crash into a wall?

F***, they got out

What do we see now?

There's obviously nothing to see

You want the car to drive up

to the bedroom?

You think they're shooting porn here?

See if there's anything else to watch

F***, it's so exciting

Your boss' name is Kevin

My name's Belly Button

What a difference

When I get rich

I'll have someone pick

an English name for me

Don't be stupid

Want me to light a prayer candle for you?

When rich people make it big

it's 30% cheating

70% background

You

you've got nothing

Where are you from?

What's your background?

My background is

Pineapples

Bananas

Guavas

One's missing...

Wax apples

What's up with your boss?

Looks like he's on patrol

He keeps driving and driving

Maybe he ran out of tricks

I thought your boss was baller

But that's all he had

Searching through dashcam footage

is like finding a needle in a haystack

If you're lucky

you'll find horseplay right away

But most of the time

you'll just see a car patrol

Betting on dashcam footage

is like Taiwan's economy

There's good times and bad

When it's really bad

though you may watch till you drop

you'll end up with nothing

F***

Goddamn

Why's your boss back so early today?

It's almost 3

Damn, it's so late

All right, I'm going

Go, hurry

All right

Keep out of his business

What's going on?

Who attached the head?

I attached it

I was doing it last night till dawn

It'd take forever for you all to do it

What're you standing around for?

Hurry and finish the job

F***

You're

Are you standing there silent

to scare people?

What are you doing here?

Nothing, just taking a walk around

Hold this for me

This man's name is Shao-Huai Chang

In this film, he's called Sugar Apple

In our film

he only has one line

Taking a walk

He's very busy every day

Busy taking a walk

He walks further than policemen patrol

Walks harder than the village chief works

But human relations are a funny thing

The village is full of people

but no matter where Sugar Apple's walked

the only friend he's made has been

Belly Button

Pickle

The hood ornament on my Benz is bent,

Can you fix it?

Okay

Okay, close enough

It's fine,

are you praying to the ancestors now?

Pickle

Go to the Seven (7-11) at the intersection

Pick up a package for me

Boss, what package?

F***, Just say a package for Kevin Huang

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