The Great Dictator Page #5

Shut up!

Take it away!

Stay here

until they've made up their minds.

You got-a da carpet. Put it down!

Here he is.

- My friend!

- Napaloni!

This is indeed a pleasure.

Welcome to Tomainia. This way.

Pictures!

Sure. Salute!

Another, please.

This is a pleasure,

my friend Hynkel.

You want another?

There.

Where's -a my ambassador?

Hello, Spook.

How do you feel?

Look after mamma.

Hynky, did you meet-a my wife?

That's her. Let's go.

Tomainia... very nice, very nice.

Your clock is-a slow.

This way.

It's -a very nice people.

The people are very nice.

Thank you.

He's my husband!

You make a mistake!

You make a big-a mistake!

Napaloni's army shall not invade

Osterlich. It belongs to me!

We shall not discuss

the Osterlich situation.

This interview is to impress on him

the force of your personality.

To make him feel your superiority.

Napaloni

is aggressive, domineering.

We must put him in his place.

But how?

By means of psychology.

By making him feel inferior.

This can be done subtly.

For instance,

I have arranged

that he'll be looking up at you,

you looking down at him.

His position will be inferior.

Then again we shall seat him

here beside your bust

so that if you relax

that will always be glaring at him.

Where is he now?

Resting.

I have arranged that he will enter

from the far end of the room.

Another psychological triumph.

He will have the embarrassment

of walking the entire floor.

Signor Napaloni

is now leaving his room.

He's coming.

Quick, give me a flower.

At all times

be above him, before him.

Entering or leaving

you must be first.

Hello, Hynky!

How are you feel?

My brother dictate!

You're a nice-a little man.

I'm so glad to see you again.

And my friend the Garbitsch!

This is a lovely place.

I feel-a fine.

I just had a nice cold shower.

When you have the plumbing fixed

it'll be in good shape.

Won't you sit down?

Well, Hynky,

my dictator friend, you.

I must be a-growing!

What do they give me? A baby stool?

This is not for me.

I like it better upstairs.

Garbitsch, this is a lovely country.

Very nice-a people.

I thought the public enthusiastic.

Sure. They like to see new faces.

I'm sorry for the mishap

that occurred to Madam Napaloni.

What's that?

I'm sorry for the Napaloni

that occurred at the... at...

Madam Napaloni at the station.

She's not used to public life.

She can't take it.

Match.

I'm sorry...

Don't apologise. I find-a one.

I'm simply crazy about this palace.

Ivory and gold.

A lovely combination.

Gets away

from that gingerbread idea.

Tell me something, Garbitsch,

what's on the programme?

The grand ball this evening.

And a review of the army.

That won't take-a long!

I'm afraid it will.

So you got a big army, huh?

Modesty forbids.

Seems I've heard about it.

I think I'll get me a shave.

We have a barbershop.

Is that so?

You look blue under the gills.

What do you say we go together?

- Delighted.

- Good!

Very well, this way.

This is it. I can-a smell 'em.

This is-a very sweet.

It was the library.

A good barbershop.

- Too old-fashioned.

- Is that so?

When I get shaved

I like something to look at.

So I'm putting in glass walls.

This way, I shall have a view

of the mountains.

And this,

a view through the glass ceiling.

- What's above?

- The ballroom.

In my summer palace

I have a barbershop.

Is that so?

Also with glass walls.

You don't tell me!

With goldfish inside.

Goldfish swimming inside the walls?

How do you feed them?

You can't, they're all dead.

That's why I'm building a new one.

- Very interesting!

- You like it?

The Hynkel stadium.

Before half a million spectators

the greatest ever display of arms

marches by in review.

Our beloved Phooey

and I'll-Dig-a-Ditchy are seated,

thrilled by this historic event.

What?

Nothing. I'm just chewing.

Some peanuts?

- I've had some.

- Good shape.

Here you are, Spook.

Now passing,

Tomainia's heavy artillery.

It's all right.

I want to show you my new bombing

planes. They're coming over.

- Where from?

- Aroma.

Aroma? That's 400 miles away.

Right.

I don't know what's detaining them.

Now passing,

Tomainia's light artillery.

Very light!

And here come the armoured tanks,

the pride of Tomainia's army.

The latest design, the last word

in modern warfare.

Where's the propellers?

For going under the water!

Under water?

You never heard of tanks that go

under the water and fly up-a stairs?

- What's that?

- Under the water and in the air.

Obsolete now! We're concentrating

on flying dreadnoughts.

- What's that?

- My planes!

Now passing, Hynkel's

flying division number 34.

Our planes!

You're right. They're yours.

Garbitsch!

The invasion of Osterlich.

Our troops, tanks and guns

will be hidden along the border.

To disarm suspicion,

you will go hunting.

Then you will show up

at Pretzelburg,

meet the army, step into a car

and cross over into Osterlich.

Herring and I

will be waiting at the capital.

First Napaloni must remove

his troops.

To be decided tonight.

Where is Napaloni?

I'll look for him.

It might be advisable for you

to dance with Madam Napaloni.

It'll carry weight.

You mean I will!

You find him!

And let me know at once.

- Madam Napaloni...

- Your Excellency!

Why so triste?

Because I no speak.

No? May I have the pleasure?

Allow me.

Madam, your dancing was superb.

Excellent.

Very good.

Good.

- My dear Adenoid.

- Benzino!

I've been looking for you.

Let's go to some quiet place

where we can talk-a things over.

- As you wish.

- An excellent idea. To the buffet!

Of course, this way.

There's a Tomainian proverb...

Funny. I wish I understand it.

Now about the border.

Yes. No problem.

It should be no trouble.

- What's the matter?

- Wait.

You, too. Out!

Out.

- So... the border question.

- Yes.

It's just a matter of detail.

Formalities.

Strawberries!

- Have you any English mustard?

- English mustard.

- That's da hot-a stuff?

- Very hot.

Good shape.

Cream.

Hynky, I'm going to make this

very simple.

You agree not to invade Osterlich,

I agree not to invade Osterlich.

We sign, then I remove

my troops from the border.

When your troops

are gone, I sign.

That's -a right.

Just a minute,

you don't understand.

First we sign,

then I remove-a da troops.

- Precisely. I sign after.

- Just a minute.

Hey, Spook, treaty.

Hold-a dis.

Now, look, you sign-a

dis treaty first.

Then I remove my troops after.

Why are we arguing?

You said I remove first.

I can't sign while they're there.

- I won't remove them till you sign.

- Why not?

- Why should I?

- Osterlich is a free country!

Your soldiers are there.

And they'll stay until you sign.

I'll blow them off.

This won't get us anywhere.

To quote an old Latin phrase...

Strawberries!

Where's -a my sandwich?

Another one!

I don't get this treatment

in my own joint!

Can't we discuss this

without passion?

I'm not-a passionate. I'm just...

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