The Great Hip Hop Hoax Page #7

a porcupine wrapped around my fist

I throw a grenade in the toilet

As he sat down on it. -What?

It's not over till

the fat lady sings

but let's leave Dave's mum

out of this. -Oh!

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dave.

- That's good, man.

- We're friends!

- That's OK.

Also, while we were doing that,

we were also listening.

That is the art of telling

great lies - listening.

So, now, reading about you - UK, US,

where are you guys from?

Planet Zordon.

Really, I can tell. -We were abducted

by aliens when we were kids

and been travelling around

the solar system ever since then.

But what about really

because, you know, it seems

that your music is going to be huge

here in the UK and in the US?

Let's hope. -Yes. -Do you think that's

because you've been brought up...

Mothers everywhere

will be buying it.

Er, ladies and gentlemen, please

put your hands together,

Silibil n' Brains.

Boys, good luck, it's been

a pleasure meeting you. And you too.

There was an awful lot

of people up here

had seen them being

interviewed on TV.

Why are they American now?

You know, they weren't American.

You know, word travels fast.

Music scene chatrooms

were all lighting up, like,

"I know those guys. I went

to school with Billy in Arbroath,"

and, "I got in a fight with Gav

in a chip shop in Dundee.

Those guys are fake. " So, we were

like, "Sh*t, like, how do we...?"

We sat there trying to, you know,

contact administrators

and trying to get posts

taken off, and deleted,

and we were just thinking,

"OK, there's someone at Sony

"sitting there going through all the

negative press," and, "Oh, what's this?"

You know,

Google search Silibil n' Brains,

and it comes up,

you know, they're fake.

So, did it come up?

No, it didn't. No-one was

doing those searches.

Then we were really

worried about it.

Everything just, like, wow, this

is, this is a really bad plan.

A part of the plan was that

we were just going to get in,

make a record

and then release the record,

and then come clean but release

schedules don't work like that.

That's the side of the game we

didn't really know that much about.

Like, you can't just release

music like that.

You know, you have to do six

weeks of press, radio, TV.

The constant worry

and the constant stressing

that someone's going

to catch us out here...

.. someone's going to tell the world

who we really are.

Say cheese.

We always said we weren't going

to get engaged just to be engaged.

We were going to get engaged

because you wanted to get married.

How long did you plan your

wedding for? -Only a year.

It was kind of the next step,

you know?

If you're not moving forward

you're stagnated and, I suppose,

we felt ready, in a lot of ways.

Everyone in the industry knew

I was getting married.

No-one questioned why I was

marrying someone in Scotland.

No-one expected invites

to the wedding, so it was fine,

we got away with it.

We went to Verona for a week

for our honeymoon,

and that's when it started being

a bit more real, and thinking,

"We can't really do this,

living apart much longer. "

It was always hard for Mary.

It was hard enough having our

long-distance relationship

between Arbroath in London.

What happens if we do become

these huge superstars

and we're jet-setting

all over the world?

Once the kind of honeymoon period

was over, if you like,

sort of, cracks were starting

to show in the friendship.

Because they were living together

and spending so much time together

in the studio as well,

on top of this whole charade,

there was definitely an underlying

feeling of frustration.

We were best friends.

I mean, we were like brothers

and I guess that's what made it more

upsetting, the fact that we allowed

the divide to happen.

It was like we were business

partners, rather than friends.

We just didn't talk about the things

that mattered, I guess.

We were too busy, well,

when we were in London

we were too busy worrying about

a lot of other things.

Got a phone call this morning

saying, "Come and support D12,"

which kind of wasn't...

kind of wasn't scheduled.

But...

.. nothing to worry about.

We won't sh*t ourselves.

Are you well?

It was just lovely, just being able

to ring the guys and say,

"We're going to go and support

D12 at the Brixton Academy. "

Explain what's happening.

F***ing... Come on.

We were excited. We thought, "This

is it. It doesn't get bigger than this. "

They were huge at the time,

we were going to be playing to

thousands of people.

That's the stage.

That's where the people will be.

As usual, something so exciting

was met by the fear of... the past.

Wait a minute.

We've been lying the whole time

that we're friends with D12

and Eminem.

That's the way we've came up

from the States, and holy f***.

We were now in a situation

where Del and whoever we were with

were expecting us to meet up with

our old friends D12 before the show.

Who we'd never met in our life.

I was led to believe at that point

that they knew them.

OK, so the first night of the show.

We're performing at Brixton Academy,

London. Stop it, stop it!

We're performing at Brixton Academy,

London, with D12. Whatever.

So it's time to start warming up.

We were just going to sound check.

D12 were on stage, we were standing

at the side watching them.

I just remember the look

on Del's face,

as if to say, "There's your guy!"

Gavin and Billy both shout,

"Yo, Proof, how you doing?"

I just remember

shaking hands with Proof

and just being like,

"Hey! How's it going?"

Like you would do in hip-hop.

"Hey, man, how you doing?"

"High-five, wassup, wassup?"

Cuddled him and held on.

One of those stories

that we didn't need to tell,

we didn't need to go that far.

But we did.

We'd always add arms and legs

to this huge body of a story.

I think he was addicted to lying.

I think he is addicted to lying.

As a child, he had a full-on

South African accent.

Like, really really strong

South African accent.

When we left South Africa it was

like a total shock to the system.

Beautiful hot country,

all our friends and everything,

and we came to Scotland.

It was cold, it was dull, it was

dreary. It was pretty hard on him.

We had to adjust our accents, and

Gavin had to, he had to change it.

My parents were speaking to

each other in a Scottish accent,

but then they would speak

to any of their friends

in South African accents.

And that's what I learned to do.

Taking what someone is doing

and copying it to the absolute...

If I lived with you for like a week,

I'd probably start morphing

into your voice. Mimicking.

I'm phenomenal at mimicking.

You think it's probably not that

great, but I think it's quite cool.

We decided that Losers

was going to be the single.

We were always the underdogs,

and that was the song about

the underdog sort of taking over.

The record label and the management

said, "Release it, this song is

good. Let's make it a single. "

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