The Great Masquerade Page #4

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'cause my wife's gonna stay a virgin

even after we're married.

She ain't going in no contest.

And that's final period,

you can forget it.

- Really, just remember Paco,

we ain't married yet.

- You remember--

- HEY-

H9)'-

Let's everybody calm down huh.

Look,

it ain't just the idea you'd be

wearing a bathing suit Rita,

there might be some kind of

danger in this thing too.

- Danger, what's this danger?

You insinuating I can't protect my

fiance from danger?

Huh Vito is that what

you're telling me,

I can't protect her?

I'll protect her from anything.

If a mountain starts to fall, you

know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna get underneath it,

pick it up,

and put it back up again, that's

what I'm gonna do.

Nobody threatens my fiance, nobody.

She's gonna go in the contest.

- Oh thank you Paco.

Oh this man, he's a man?

This man I worship the feet he

walks on this man.

Right? - Right, right.

- And you're gonna be so proud of

me Paco when I win.

- Alright fine, but you're

still ain't wearing

no bathing suit.

You're gonna be covered from

here to over there.

- No I ain't. - Yes you are.

- I ain't. - You're gonna.

- I ain't. - Yes you are.

- Please God, let them

get married soon

and move out.

- So Gates found the mic and Vito

spends all his time

talking about meatballs.

Well that's great.

Just great.

- There is one other thing Chief.

- What's that?

- Well Vito told Rita that

he didn't want her

to enter the contest

because of the danger.

- But we already knew that Casey.

- So we're right back

where we started.

- At least we haven't lost

any ground Chief.

- Whoopie.

- Chief Willinghand's office,

Fulton here.

Really?

Okay 10-4.

Sherwood Gates is on his way up here

and he's plenty mad.

- Jesus, you guys get out

of here quick.

- Chief Willinghand,

I am Sherwood P Gates Ill,

the P is for the pandemonium

I'm going to put

your police department in in

about five minutes.

You know why I'm here.

- Uh no I don't Mister Gates.

Unless it concerns our

investigation into the

artists and models murders.

- How very droll of you

Chief Willinghand

to assume the role of

public defender.

What argument will you

sling my way next?

National Defense?

- No one's going to sling anything

your way Mister Gates.

- Nothing except a hidden

microphone in my apartment.

- The chief of police can not

be held responsible

for the over zealousness of his

subordinates Mister Gates.

- We'll just let that statement

hang there for awhile

Miss uh...

- Fulton.

- Fulton, until it sinks of

it's own weight.

- What's the purpose of this

visit Mister Gates?

- The point is that I do not

like being bugged.

And on this very point

the law is with me

despite the rather incredible fact

that you were the laws

local representative.

Awire tapping episode could

be pretty costly

to your career Chief Willinghand.

I've seen lives go up in

smoke for far less.

Far less.

- You seem to forget Mister Gates

that three girls have been murdered.

Now we don't intend to sit back

and let it happen a fourth time.

- It won't happen a fourth

time Miss uh...

- Fulton.

- Miss Fulton.

- And how can you be sure of that.

- Because the murderer has

been apprehended.

- What?

- Turned himself into

me this morning.

His name is Carl Fancher.

Came to my office and

claimed that he killed

all three girls.

- This is incredible.

Well where is he now?

- Out front, in custody

of my bodyguard.

They're double parked in

front of your station.

- This is simply outrageous.

Why didn't you report this

to us immediately?

- You're the one that's

outrageous Willinghand.

Imagine bugging me-

Now I'm warning you,

unless you wanna be brought up

on criminal charges

of illegal wire tap,

keep your clumsy stupid cops away

from the Artisan Models Ball.

It's a charity affair.

Charity Chief Willinghand.

The participants will not take

kindly to police harassment.

Now you've got your killer and

the case is closed.

And if you cross me,

you might just find your

little bugging episode

in three inch type on the front page

of the city's newspaper

you understand?

- Yes Mister Gates.

- See that you do.

Come along and get your suspect.

- I killed them.

I killed all three of them.

It's pretty good for a

guy like me huh?

I hope they didn't suffer any pain.

But we're all born to

suffer pain right?

Right?

- Right Fancher.

- Yeah.

All of us born to suffer pain.

- How long have you had that cough?

- Oh,

it's nothing I just,

I smoke too much.

Where was I?

Oh yes the girls I killed.

Well,

the first one I killed

was really good.

But the second one, the second

one was even better.

But not as good as the third.

No the third one,

the third one was really,

really the best one.

- Satisfied Chief?

- For the time being.

- Remember those headlines.

Goodnight.

And goodnight to you Misses uh...

- Fulton.

- Fulton, goodnight.

- Fulton,

better call Dave and Casey,

we'll postpone the operation.

- Do you think that's wise?

- Well there's no need to

proceed with it now.

- Yes sir.

- I got a surprise for you honey.

- What? - I didn't get

the promotion.

You know what that means?

It means I'll be right

here with you,

we can do everything we planned

because I'm not going away.

Isn't that fantastic?

- Why're you looking at

me like that?

- Like what?

- You got that suspicious look

around your eyes again.

- Dave I'm not suspicious.

I understand about your work.

I know you're involved in life

and death assignments

that come up one week and don't come

off the next, really.

I appreciate the tension.

The grating hours.

The uncertainty that

accompanies a job

with changes like yours.

But there's only one

thing I wanna know?

- What?

- How'd you screw up the promotion.

- So after I strangled her,

I dragged her off of the bed,

and I propped up in a chair,

and I lit a cigarette,

and I put it in her mouth.

I think it made her happy.

- Did it make you happy Fancher?

- I guess so.

- Let's go Fancher.

- I think it did make me happy.

- What do you think?

- It seems awfully easy doesn't it?

- Too easy.

Just doesn't smell right.

- Yeah he knew all the answers,

I mean things,

information not generally

known to the public.

- Yeah but he could have rehearsed

and sent in here with a

well prepared story that

fits all the details.

- Yeah but why, why would he do it?

- Look at him, listen to that cough.

10-1 he's a dead man in six months.

- It's true, but that even

makes less sense.

Why would he pretend to

be the killer?

- If he has a family somewhere

who's about to come into a lot of

money if he goes to prison

in place of the real murderer.

And the odds are he'll

plead insanity

and wind up in an

institution any way.

- Or at least he'll die comfortably,

I mean more comfortably

than he lived.

- You know I think we outta go ahead

with the operation as planned.

If the real murderer is

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