The Grief Tourist Page #2

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for your parents.

By the time you left,

you were full of rage for the

whole goddamn world.

When you got here, some older

boys pulled you screaming

into the bathroom and

knocked your teeth out,

so you couldn't bite them when

they made you blow them.

They almost beat you

to death.

You're just a little kid and

nobody f***ing helped you.

(Boys screams echoing)

Okay, here's your lovely

dinner.

Chicken and a burger.

Looks great,

thank you.

Good?

Okay.

I guess you must have

really liked that.

You sure polished that

off in a hurry.

Uh, yeah. My father,

he always said "life's short,

so eat quick. "

He died of indigestion.

(Chuckling)

Okay.

Can I get you some

dessert?

Yeah.

Yeah?

I think there was

something...

The ventura volcano?

Okay.

Sounds like suicide

by dessert.

It is. I hope you

got room for it.

Well, I always got room.

I am a bottomless void.

Oh, you know what?

That guy was one of our

more notorious citizens.

You want some more

coffee?

Uh, sure.

Yeah?

Okay. I'll be back.

Um, une volcano.

Okay.

Por favor.

Waitress #2:
Can I get a

whiskey down with fries?

Jim:
I was in the bookstore

up the street and I saw this.

I never heard of him.

I figured I'm here,

I might as well...

Seems interesting.

Oh, yeah. He was

interesting all right.

You know, we get a lot of

people coming through here,

going to the places where

he killed people.

And also, the teenagers

like to go to that shack,

where he killed himself.

(Chuckling)

You know,

I don't get it why people

like to go to those places.

I mean, what kind of

sick thrill

do they get by doing that,

you know?

I don't know about

those things.

No.

I do know that people like

to go to ground zero.

Yeah, I know. I think

that's really sick too.

Hey, you should come back

for breakfast,

'cause it's much better

than our dinners. Okay?

I'm going to go get

your sundae.

Waitress:

Okay...

Woman:
Call me when you get

to walnut and erbes, all right?

No, no.

Walnut and erbes.

..."e-r...

...b-e-s. "

Yeah.

No. "E-r-b-e-s. "

Go in, baby.

I'll be right there.

Hold on.

Go in. I'll be right there.

Just let me finish this.

That's my door.

Oh. This is

yours?

I thought you were

someone else.

Well, sorry.

All right. Call me

when you get there, papi

and then I'll give you

my address. Later.

You section eight?

Excuse me?

Are you section eight

housing

or are you, like,

visiting?

Uh, visiting.

Oh, okay.

Later.

Jim:

Whores...

(Sighing)

This place is teaming

with them.

(Music playing on radio,

TV audio muted)

I love these preachers.

(Chuckling)

Carl's father was one

of these born agains.

Tomorrow I go to the ranch,

to see where this man of God

tortured his son.

The spot where Carl killed

for the first time.

His most intimate place...

Tomorrow, the tables turn...

(Laughing and chattering

in opposite room)

...and I haunt you, Carl.

(Laughing)

Jim:
"It was at the modest

family home in hatticomb,

where Carl's father would tie

him to a bed

and beat him viciously

with a razor strap,

sometimes burning his genitals

with lit candles

and cigars as punishment for

minor behavioural offences.

Marznap began his

murderous spree

at the family home, on a warm

September night in 1932.

At the age of fourteen,

he would bludgeon

his parents to death with a

hammer while they slept.

He doused the bodies

with gasoline

and set the structure ablaze.

He called the night he

murdered his parents,

'the most thrilling event

in his life. '

he had been so excited by the

sight of his parents burning

that he... ejaculated for the

first time. "

Carl, Carl, Carl...

(Camera clicking)

You had no remorse for

what you did, did you Carl?

(Chuckling)

Of course you didn't.

You used to say you didn't even

know what remorse felt like.

How could you...

After what they did

to you?

(Voices whispering)

(Laughter echoing)

Jim:
What the f***

happened to me out there?

F*** up. I hope the sh*t

hasn't started up again.

Not f***ing now,

not here.

Why is it always like this

when I split town?

God, what is it about a man

being alone in a hotel room

that makes him want to just do

the most depraved sh*t?

(Muffled electronic music

playing)

(Muffled laughing)

(Muffled electronic music

playing)

(Muffled laughing)

This f***ing whore working

out of the room next door...

The devil is just

tempting me.

(Muffled laughing)

It's one of them itches,

the more you scratch it,

the more it f***ing itches.

(Muffled laughing, electronic

music playing)

Woman:

I love it. Do it.

(Laughing)

(Moaning)

You're a naughty boy,

aren't you?

(Moaning, electronic music

playing)

Ooh, f***!

Ooh, ooh!

(Moaning, electronic

music playing)

Oh, my f***ing God!

"In 1961, after a five-year

spree of arson and murder,

marznap goes into an extended

cooling off period.

In 1964, he begins

setting fires again,

but said it did little to get

rid of the rage

he felt towards the church. "

"It and its congregation

would have to be punished. "

(Metallic clattering)

(Loud moaning)

Yeah! Harder!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Oh! Don't stop!

(Moaning)

(Screaming)

(Screaming echoing)

You f***ing whore.

(Screaming echoing)

(Screaming continuing)

(Moaning)

(Moaning)

(Train whistle blowing)

Jim:

Maybe I should change rooms.

I don't...

I don't like being next

to that filthiness.

It's not good for me.

So, you took my advice and you

came back for breakfast?

Hey, are you okay?

Yeah. Um...

My sister...

She's only 28 and she was

just diagnosed with cancer.

Oh...

They've given her

three months, tops.

Oh, lord.

I'm so sorry.

I lost my husband about

a few years ago

and, um...

I thought it was going

to kill me.

But it gets better.

I'm sorry for

your loss.

Thank you.

Man:

Excuse me, ma'am.

Um, I'll be right there,

okay?

God damn.

(Sighing)

Can I get you anything?

(Sighing)

No.

(Exhaling deeply)

Okay.

I'm a, uh, friend of

bill w's.

I saw your necklace.

Do you know where there might

be a meeting tonight?

Yeah, there's one at the

community church

at eight o'clock.

That's on Polly street.

(Chuckling)

Uh... I'm Carl.

Hi, Carl.

I'm Betsy.

Okay. I'm going to

get you some coffee, okay?

Jim:
Seems like a nice person.

Shouldn't have lied to her.

But the truth has never

gotten me anywhere.

So what if I don't

have a sister?

That's not important.

The bottom line is

i got pain.

I got pain and she's

got pain.

The important thing is

our grief touched.

April 14th 1968,

your masterpiece.

I can feel you.

Where are you?

There was only three doors,

you know?

There was that one there.

There was these two here.

Took me two minutes

to lock them all

in here.

I had it fully burning

in eight.

Most of them they...

they trampled each others

in the panic.

"Ah!"

My old man...

He was one of the

church elders.

Everybody knew

what he was doing

to me.

Oh, but nobody helped me

a sh*t.

Mm...

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