The Grief Tourist Page #3

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Mmm...

I taught all these

phony sons of b*tches

what being a victim

felt like.

I think it's time...

That you taught someone

that sermon.

(Flames crackling)

Woman:
There was a man and he was

sprawled out on the bed, naked.

We had had sex.

I was still so drunk,

I called my husband.

I gave him the address.

He came and got me.

That was my bottom.

I cried for about three weeks

after he left.

He took my kids with him.

But somehow I found a room,

August 5th, 1998.

I'm one of the lucky ones.

We're all lucky.

We've all found rooms.

...and he was on the couch

and he had been watching

a ballgame.

Arrhythmogenic right

ventricular dysplasia.

The first symptom of that

is sudden death.

He was a vegetarian.

He was a runner.

He was in perfect health.

And he was dead at 45,

just like that.

(Sighing)

And it's been four years.

But...

I don't know.

It feels like it

was yesterday.

And I think I'm actually

more distraught now

than I was then.

I mean, at least then

I was in shock.

You know?

And now the pain...

Just never goes away.

So, I know what you're

going through, Carl.

I'm sorry.

That's...

(Sighing)

It's okay.

I'm glad you came...

(Chuckling)

...to the meeting.

I needed, uh...

I don't know.

Lately, I can't...

I don't know what's

going on.

I just...

I don't even know

what's real.

I know.

I feel like that too.

Sometimes I don't know

whether I'm coming or I'm going.

But I fight through it

and I go to a meeting.

Because in the end, Carl,

the only thing that's real

is right now.

This, you know?

Connecting with people.

I thank God for my job.

I thank God

for these meetings.

Because without them,

I'm not sure

what I would do.

Hmm, anyway.

I haven't even asked you

where you're from.

Where are you from,

Carl?

Uh...

(Clearing throat)

I'm from yonkers.

It's in New York.

Oh.

Is it nice?

(Laughing)

No.

No?

No.

(Laughing)

It's...

It's not nice.

It's...

It's yonkers.

So are you...

Here on business,

or are you

just passing through?

I mean, I say that because

hatticomb is the kind of place

that you just go through,

not to.

You know?

(Laughing)

You smell good.

Hmm.

Are you hungry?

So, what do you do?

Jim:

I'm a security guard.

What else?

What do you want

to know?

Well, what songs

do you like?

Um...

Polka music.

(Laughing):

Okay.

You laugh a lot.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry?

(Coughing)

You're beautiful,

you know that?

Thank you.

Suzanne takes you down

to her place

near the river

you can hear

the boats go by

and you can spend the night

beside her

and you know

that she's half crazy

but that's why

you want to be there

and she feeds you

tea and oranges

hmm, w. T.?

I thought you were

recovering.

One vice at a time.

(Coughing)

Sorry.

(Laughing)

Your turn.

It's very strong.

(Sighing)

You like it?

No? Oh. I do.

And you want

to travel with her

and you want

to travel blind

and you know

that she will trust you

for you've touched

her perfect body

with your mind

(laughing)

What?

Thank you.

When he walked upon

the water

and he spent

a long time watching

from his lonely

wooden tower

and when he knew

for certain

only drowning men

could see him

he said "all men

will be sailors then

until the sea

shall free them"

but he himself

was broken

long before

the sky would open

forsaken, almost human

he sank beneath

your wisdom

(moaning)

Oh, yeah.

And you want

to travel with him

here. Kiss me.

And you want

to travel blind

and you think maybe

you'll trust him

stop. Just don't kiss me, okay?

Just...

Why?

Because...

Because I'm not

your boyfriend.

All right?

I don't like

all that mushy sh*t.

I just want to f***.

Okay, wait a minute.

Hey, hey.

Carl, goddamn it.

Come on.

Don't be so rough.

God...

Don't call me that.

"Carl"?

Jesus Christ.

What is wrong

with you, Carl...?

F***ing don't call me that!

You don't f***ing know me!

F***ing little b*tch.

Jesus Christ.

(Sipping)

Real women don't get

your nut off anymore.

I know the feeling.

There's poison

in you there.

Its sex all backed up.

Infected.

Got to come out.

But you always lettin' it

build up.

No good.

Go ahead, boy.

Get it out.

Knock.

Knock on that door there.

Get in there,

damn it.

(Door opening)

Woman:

Hi.

You know what I am?

You know, you're supposed

to make an appointment first.

But since we're neighbours,

I can squeeze you in.

(Mellow music playing)

(Door closing)

Kiss me.

I... I don't...

You a cop,

a**hole?

No.

Then give me a kiss

or get out.

On my neck,

not the mouth.

Cops ain't allowed

to touch.

What's that?

It's a donation.

What's your name?

Carl.

I'm iris.

You don't want

to suck 'em?

Hmm?

You can.

Go ahead.

Suck 'em.

Make me.

What the f*** is that, hmm?

I said suck 'em.

You want me to make you?

You want me to make you, hmm?

I said suck 'em.

That's right.

F***ing suck 'em.

Mmm.

(Breathing heavily)

Are you sure

you want this?

Then take your clothes off

and lay down.

I want to get a rubber.

(Both grunting softly)

Does that feel good, Carl?

Boy 1:

Drag him over here.

(Children screaming)

(Grunting)

Get him!

Boy 2:
Hold him down!

Boy 1:

Make sure no one's coming.

(Laughing)

(Grunting and blows landing)

Young Jim:

Get off me!

(Boys grunting)

Let me go!

Boy 1:

Get his pants off.

Ow! Ow!

Boy 1:

Now stick it in there.

Shove it up his ass.

Ow! Ow!

(Iris groaning)

Boy 1:

You like that, you fag?

I know you like that, Carl.

(Young Jim screaming)

(Door latch sliding)

(Young Jim screaming)

Motherfuckers.

They ruined me.

Those f***ing kids

broke everything.

I know, Jimmy.

I know.

They broke me too.

Why didn't they

fix me?

They could've fixed me.

I was just a kid.

How could they not

even try?

Now it's too f***ing late.

I know, Jimmy.

There ain't a soul alive

on this miserable planet

that don't know how

to break this sh*t up,

pound it into powder

like they did

to you and me.

Yeah.

We closer than kin

that way.

(Voices speaking

indistinctly)

Woman 1:

What are you doing?

Man 1:

Nice place to hide.

Man 2:

What are you doing in my house?

Woman 2:
Yeah, you know, I

think that's really sick too.

Man 3:
It's time that

you taught that sermon.

Woman 3:

Go down by the pool...

Man 3:

There's poison in there.

Woman 4:

He is such a pig.

(Voices continue speaking

indistinctly)

(Echoes/voices reverberating)

(Reverberations/voices

growing louder)

(Thunder rumbling)

(Rain pattering)

Um, I know that we were both

a little high.

And sometimes

people get weird.

You know,

I just wanted to say

that if I make you

feel uncomfortable,

or if I came on

too strong...

I'm sorry.

I guess I...

I know that my sense

of hospitality

just get away from me.

But it's just because

I really like you.

(Crying)

(Sighing)

(Sniffling)

You're disgusting.

Waitress:

Betsy, are you okay?

(Liquid pouring)

Woman:

Hey, sweetie. It's aunt vee.

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