The Hammer & the Butterfly Page #2

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but all right.

Stick your ass out,

suck your elbows in.

Are you trying to take a dump, Tony?

Good face, Jeff.

Come on. Yeah.

How'd you get your shiner?

Oh, let's just say a client

got a little out of hand.

I feel like prostitution

should be legal, you know?

I'm a lawyer.

Public defender.

Oh, yeah.

No, I figured that.

I'm just saying, apropos of nothing.

It's a victimless crime.

You know.

How'd you get yours?

Trick got out of hand

on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Punch with your hips, everybody.

Hey, Jerry.

What's going on, Jeff?

I'm entering my first tournament.

Fantastic.

You've been boxing for like four weeks.

You think that's a good plan?

Oh, I'm ready for this one.

It's the Gay Games.

Yeah, but, Jeff, you're not gay.

No, no, but they don't check.

That's the beauty of it.

I figure I'll get a little

competitive experience, you know?

Kick a little ass.

I don't know, I've seen

some of those guys.

They're pretty ripped.

Come on, you think

I'm gonna lose to a guy

who enters the ring

to Barbara Streisand?

Uh, I think you'd lose

to Barbara Streisand.

Come on.

I've learned from the best.

Jerry? Jesus.

I mean, you refuse to get

a contractor's license,

but, what, you'll go be a punching bag

for a few extra bucks?

Ozzie and I quit today.

Well, Matt's an a-hole.

I take on two extra shifts,

and you quit your job?

I'm thinking about getting back

into competitive boxing.

What a great idea.

Come on, short stack,

it's my birthday.

Yeah, that's right, Jerry.

Another year has come and gone,

and you've done nothing.

You just quit your job!

You get another speeding ticket,

and I find a f***ing maxi pad

in the coffee maker.

All right?

This isn't working, Jerry.

I knocked this guy out

in the first round.

Hey, Jerry the best boxer I know, man.

Yeah, I'm the only boxer you know,

but thanks, buddy.

Hey, it's true.

Alexis Arguello. Nicaragua!

Rosendo lvarez. Nicaragua.

Ricardo Mayorga. Nicaragua!

Nicaragua numero uno.

Nicaragua!

You guys sure seem

to love Nicaragua

except for the part

where you risked your lives

not to live there anymore.

All right, but one round,

then you're going to bed.

- Oh!

- Oh!

Nicaragua!

Hey, Jerry, it's time to bed, man.

Big day tomorrow.

Good night, Jerry.

Good night, Oz.

Jerry! Jerry!

Wake up, man!

You're missing the tryout, man.

I'm gonna do

the Olympics next time.

Better watch out for me, Coach.

I got mad skills.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Bow!

You got the sound effects down.

Are you his legal guardian?

No. No, I'm a boxer.

This ain't no open call.

You have to be invited.

Eddie invited me himself.

Well, I guess he's getting desperate.

Who here knows how many gold medals

the United States boxing team has won

in the last two Olympics combined?

One!

That's right. Uno!

Cuba has won nine.

Kazakhstan has won three.

I don't even know where that is.

France has won

as many gold medals

as the United States

in the last two Olympics.

France, for Christ's sake!

Today, we're going to find out

if anyone here

might have what it takes

to change that in 2008.

Let's get started!

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

You look like sh*t.

I didn't get a ton of sleep last night.

Well, maybe you want

to take a rain check, huh?

No, no.

No, I'm... I'm good.

All right, put that on...

unless you think that eyebrow

could protect your whole head.

Good stuff.

Come on!

And time!

All right, I think that's enough, huh?

I'm fine.

Are you sure?

I've never felt better in my life.

All right, go ahead.

Ooh!

Oh!

Victor Padilla.

Did you fight Golden Gloves?

I fought Golden Gloves,

a while back.

You know, I was watching you.

You look good,

but I noticed you throw the jab,

you drop your right just a little bit,

which is fine against an orthodox guy,

but if you get in with a southpaw,

you know, that could be trouble.

So when was your last fight?

November.

How come?

Hey, it's none of my business.

I'd like to see what you could do

if you took care of yourself.

I want you to lose 15 pounds

and be ready to fight at 178 in a month.

What's in a month?

The regionals in Phoenix.

Congratulations.

# Fueled by a lack #

# Drew inspiration from a need #

# So many problems to crack #

# And mouths to feed #

# Crooked was the path #

# The last hurrah? #

# Nu-uh, I'd do it again #

# The rascal king behind the bars #

# Or the one in front of them #

# Let's go #

# The last hurrah? Nu-uh #

# Do it again #

# The rascal king behind the bars #

# Or the one in front of them #

All right, everyone, find your bag

and do something horrible to it.

Not you, Lindsay.

I wanna work a little shoe shine,

a little left, right.

- Okay.

- All right?

You ready?

Are you ready?

Let's see what you got.

Don't take the mace

off the key chain just yet.

Come on.

You got plans tomorrow?

Not during the day.

Maybe we should just hold off

until an evening frees up for you.

Oh, just pick me up

at noon tomorrow.

What's the big deal?

Oh, the dreaded day date.

Oh, come on,

what is so bad about a day date?

What's so bad about it?

It's not a date,

it's an outing at best.

Jerry girlfriend leaving him.

Excuse me?

Jerry girlfriend leaving him.

- She...

- My girlfriend.

- Oh.

- We... We broke up.

- I'm sorry.

- Broke up, yeah.

Have you guys met?

Lindsay, Loud-mouth.

Loud-mouth, Lindsay.

When?

She left, uh...

You know, it's been a while.

Wednesday. Wednesday.

Wednesday.

She technically moved out on Wednesday,

but she checked out

a year before that.

We both did.

- Oh.

- It's been a while.

Well, um, I'll see you at noon.

- All right.

- Bye-bye.

See you.

Nice to meet you.

- Silky smooth.

- Yeah.

- Silk.

- Working?

- Yeah, velvety smooth.

- Oh.

I don't know if you can

understand this, Ozzie,

but chicks don't dig it

when they find out

you've been dumped.

But it's true.

It's also true I have a hairy ass,

but I don't weave it into

every conversation I have.

Hey, yo, Vic.

You know Coach won gold

in four different weight classes?

I'm gonna make it five.

I'm going to be his second lightweight.

Hey, they say you're pretty good

with the little dudes.

Let's see what you're gonna do

with the big boys.

What's happening, fellas?

Well, if it isn't the Pale Rider.

I was just telling my man Vic here

how I'm gonna be the latest

in Coach Bell's

long tradition of Olympic champs.

Are you light heavy?

That's right.

I'm surprised Eddie didn't tell you,

but I'm going to be the new sheriff

around here at 178.

You?

Good, good.

I'm glad you guys

got to know each other,

'cause you're going to be spending

a lot of time together.

Let's get to work.

Hold on, Coach.

Man, you can't be serious.

This dude's, like, 40 years old.

I'm standing right here, you know?

I can hear what you're saying.

Coach, man, you wouldn't give

a 40-year-old black guy a shot.

Yeah, Coach,

when is the black man

finally gonna get a fair shake

in the fight game?

Come on, let's get

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