The Happy Film Page #2

that happiness doesn't come

From getting what you want.

Well that, everybody knows.

It doesn't come from within.

I mean, that's

what the buddhists

And the stoics

have always told us.

From within, so, you

know, change yourself,

Find happiness within.

There's some truth to that,

But I think

the more correct way

To think about human happiness

Is that happiness comes

from getting the right

Kind of relationships.

Between yourself and others,

And yourself and something

larger than yourself.

Try to almost see yourself

As though you were,

You know, a child or an animal

That you were trying

to change or shape.

And what experiences

Can you give it

that would end up just

Making it automatically

and habitually act

In a different way.

- To make your mind

become strong,

You need exercise.

The exercise of the mind, this

Is what we call meditation.

- the schedule

says wake up at 4:30

And then a full program

All the way 'til 9:15 pm.

Meditation, break,

meditation, break.

Break, meditation, meditation

With strong determination,

Meaning you're not

allowed to move,

Break, lecture,

break, meditation.

At 6:
00 in the morning, already

My back hurts like hell.

And at 8:
00,

oh, my god,

The pain is totally nuts.

- This is the way

to get happier.

May all beings

be happy.

May all beings

be happy.

May all beings

be happy.

Meditation, stop.

One, two, three, four.

- but the only pleasure

That I experience now

Comes from the time

When the pain goes away.

- one by one,

When you're calm.

may all beings

Be happy.

F***.

five, six, seven, eight.

- I'm surrounded by

a surprisingly mixed group.

A bunch of jakarta housewives,

A fancy hippie.

An aging surfer dude.

An architect, designer type.

And various women between

the age of 25 and 45

At various degrees

of being lost.

Everybody looks

zombie-like and dour.

If I'm supposed

to get happy here,

Current company does not

Suggest a successful outcome.

good morning, everybody.

We're going

to continue our practice

To make our

harmonious mind appear.

- crazy pain,

All night long.

I'm totally ready to give up.

seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five.

just ran into an

old student of mine and

She's joining me and her

friend for dinner later on.

So... Lovely.

Well after failing for awhile,

I am now opening

Up to new things.

It does feel like lots

Of stuff is possible.

And I think even

tanya is impressed.

I'm bored.

Sunday and I'm bored.

I was reading all afternoon

And I will do a little bit

of work now,

Because I don't know, really,

What else I should do.

My mom, whom I loved dearly,

Died this year.

She used to work

in a store all her life,

And going up to people,

Making that first step

really became easy

As she got totally used to it.

I, myself, could still get

much, much better at that.

This, this line and this

line, same distance?

"t" here.

I'm extremely anxious

about this dance piece.

Choreographing dancers

Is fairly far away

From straightforward

graphic design.

The "e" moves back.

It's always the same.

If I've done it before,

I get bored.

If I haven't done it

before, I get anxious.

A couple of years ago,

hillman had made a

Short portrait of me.

And I immediately thought,

I could be friends

with this guy.

- So, I would choose the

letters where it made sense.

Do you know what I mean?

- yeah.

Unlike me, he's calm and gentle.

We make a good team.

M, yes!

A, yes!

K, yes!

E, no!

What a crazy weekend.

I spent it with tanya in

A hotel down south

in alila uluwatu.

And I mean, of course, yeah,

It can't be much better.

What a lovely, lovely, lovely,

Lovely, lovely girl she is.

Sadly, she doesn't

want to be filmed.

She thinks I share too much

Private stuff with everybody.

I think I'm falling for her.

Yeah, I think

I'm falling in love.

Just coming back from an

incredible weekend with tanya.

I'm really in love,

and I told her so.

I'd say that if she

would leave me now,

Then I'd definitely

have that broken heart

That jonathan haidt thought

Would be good for the film.

There was a meditation

on love and kindness.

And I meditated on

The fact that I'm gonna die.

And I think I really

Don't wanna

just dedicate the next

20 years of my life

also to design,

As I've basically been doing.

Yeah, I definitely

had an insight.

The insight is that

I really want kids.

It's a big deal.

That would be for me, my god...

It's a big deal.

And I'll see how

tanya feels about this.

Crazy.

I'm in hong kong.

And things are amazing.

Of course,

now that I'm not looking

For a girl,

They are all over me.

Maybe like the most ever.

There was this

pretty blonde girl

Who in a second, sat on my lap.

And just to make sure

That I actually

heard her correctly,

I said, did you

just offer me a trial run

To sleep with you?

And she said,

Well, I might have,

You have to seduce me

a little bit before.

And it took, as it was,

Quite some self-discipline

not to.

Crazy.

I do think

I could be a good dad.

And on the other hand,

If I would have a

Family just for the thrill.

Oh, my god, that would be awful.

I'm not sure

if she's pissed at me.

Who knows?

It for sure would be

understandable considering

That the child issue surely

is a deal-breaker for her.

I think that's more my problem

Than it is a reflection of

The true situation with tanya.

But it's constantly like,

Oh, we are so different.

Oh, she is so irrational.

Oh, we have a

difference of common sense.

In a very, very difficult

situation with her,

Because I couldn't count

on her acting rationally.

And it's difficult to get

These thoughts out of my brain.

I mean, we are

a month into it basically.

And there is already

Serious strife.

Serious.

I'm basically

Out of my depth.

She cried.

I'm just really sad.

- it is intimacy

with the ordinary conditions

Of life that allow meditation

To arise naturally,

And then you find yourself

in meditation.

and not while I'm sitting

In my meditation hut

Trying, sitting still.

- yeah, well,

there's the word trying.

The trying is the problem.

'cause you're trying

to get somewhere

As if you're not somewhere.

- I actually

found a repeatable way

To manufacture a happy moment.

I think I know how I feel

cause I-

I only play for real

you should be picking me up

instead you're

dragging me down

you're flying over my head

you're landing all over town

you should be picking me up

instead you're

dragging me down

- what is it

that leads to a change

In the way that you

engage with people?

From last time we spoke,

It was clear to me

that your issue

Isn't happiness per say.

And that issues were

Really much more

about connection

With other people,

and some of the

Warm, loving skills.

There's actually

one other element here

That we should bring

In, is the fact

that you were living

In a foreign country.

It sounds like we have

Not just the meditation,

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