The Happy Years Page #3

and the gerundive.

Boy:
Hey,

the teacher!

The teacher!

Well, gentlemen...

splendid spring weather.

Shall we have a few

moments' indulgence

on such delicate matters

as syntax?

Mr. Channing.

Page 63.

First line, third word.

Gerund or gerundive?

Gerund, sir.

Too bad. Too bad.

Third line,

fifth word.

Gerund or gerundive?

Gerun... dive.

Poor channing didn't

stick to his system.

I meant gerund.

Positive?

Absolutely, sir.

It's the gerund.

It was the gerundive,

channing.

No feeling

of confidence today?

Well, has anyone done

the advanced translation?

Don't all rise at once.

It's the spring weather.

Too sunny.

Everyone exhausted.

Let's start alphabetically.

The as.

Let's see. Adams.

Denton.

Beekstein.

No, uh, baxter.

The ss? Sergeant.

Not prepared?

I thought so.

Ah, who is this

in the ss?

A new delegate

to this congress

of scintillating

intelligence?

Yes, sir.

What is the name?

John humperdink stover.

Hmm?

John humperdink stover.

Ah, yes. Stover.

Yes. The name

is familiar.

Haven't

we met before?

Well, stover, come

a little nearer.

A little

embarrassed, stover?

Dear me, i shouldn't

have thought that of you.

There, there.

Just a little joke

between us two.

Just a little

confidential joke.

Now, of course,

this should be

a splendid opportunity

for stover to give us

a beautiful translation

of julius caesar.

Please, sir

- of course, stover.

No requirements for your

first day in class, of course.

You may sit down.

Gentlemen, we have

another minute.

I have, in the course

of my experience as a teacher,

had to deal

with imbeciles.

Had to deal

with near idiots.

But for sheer

monumental asininity,

i have never met the equal

of this aggregation.

You may go.

Butsey:

Hey. Hey, dink.

What's this confidential

joke business

between you

and the old roman?

I can't tell you,

butsey.

It involves

a woman's good name,

but he'll be my deadly

unforgiving enemy

as long as i'm

in lawrenceville.

Fifth line,

fourth word.

Gerund.

Why?

Must i give you

a definition?

What's that?

It's the white mountain canary

chasing dink stover again.

Oh!

Ooh!

Get up,

you big sissy.

Here comes

dink again.

Who's after him

this time?

This time, it's the coffee

colored angel chasing him.

I'll be darned!

No.

Yes!

Darned if it isn't

dink chasing the angel.

The dink!

Well, i'll be

jig-swiggered!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

The white mountain canary.

Chopped

to pieces.

Kicked

by a horse.

Cheyenne:
Canary,

what hit you?

Dink.

I caught him.

Hey, look!

So you thought

i was afraid.

You thought

i was a coward.

Well, i'll show you

if i'm afraid of you...

any of you...

you big bullies!

Tough!

Cheyenne:
Break it up.

Break it up. Come on.

Poler:
Keep him away. Let's

act like gentlemen, tough.

John:
Come on. Get off.

Cheyenne:
As president

of the sporting club-

an organization devoted

to the scientific healing

of animosities-

i announce

that this matter

will be settled

between you as gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

Who'll be

dink's second?

Go on, any of you.

I'll be his second.

He licked me

square.

I don't want

any second.

Look, dink.

Tough doesn't want

to fight you now.

He'll give you a fight

anytime you want...

when you're fresh.

I don't want

to wait.

I just want

to get at him.

,

poler:
What length

rounds do you want?

I don't want

any rounds!

I want to fight him!

You have to go through

with it, tough.

Don't hurt

the little varmint

any more

than you have to.

Go.

Confound this

little lunatic.

I can't stand here

getting pounded all day.

I'll have to hit him!

Coming to?

Put her here, dink.

You're dead game.

I won't shake

hands with you

or with any of you.

I hate you all!

As for you,

tough mccarty,

i'll fight you

again now,

or i'll fight you

again tomorrow,

and i'll fight you

until i lick you,

you big bully.

As president of the green house, stover,

i'm giving you

your last chance.

Apologize to tough mccarty like a man.

I won't.

Then, stover,

i'm placing you

on a ban of

excommunication.

From this

moment on,

you're being put

in coventry.

Nobody will

speak to you.

Nobody will notice

your existence.

Go ahead and see if i

care, you gang of muckers.

Funny. Thought i heard

a strange voice.

Guess not.

Yes, butsey.

Something did sound like a

strange voice, but it couldn't be.

There's nobody here

but us.

Oh, stover.

Why did you cut

your classes

this entire

last week?

You had my various

messages, of course,

that i wanted

to see you.

I don't want

to see anybody.

Stover, i pity you.

Going back to that lonely

empty home of yours.

Huh?

A home with only

the tragic memory

of a mother

who died at sea

and a father who

no one talks about.

Any place would be

better than this,

where a boy don't

get a square deal.

Listen. I'm not

coming back

to lawrenceville

in the fall.

I'm going

to reform school,

where i'll meet a

better class of people.

Hello, john.

Hello, tootsie.

You idiotic boy.

Why didn't you telegraph

when you're arriving?

What's the use?

I'm here.

Who let you put your hair

up on top of your head?

I'm nearly 15.

Oh, come on.

John, i'm awful glad

to see you.

Honest.

Let's stop fighting

this summer.

All right, tootsie, but see

that you don't begin on me.

I won't.

I suppose

you're hard-up.

Here. Does $5.00

help any?

What trouble you want

me to get you out of?

Nothing at all,

you funny kid.

How was lawrenceville?

Where's dad

and mom?

I've got something to

tell them right away.

They're

on the beach.

Sambo:
Well,

you young rascal.

Hello, sam bones.

Pretty strong suit

of clothes, bub.

Ah, but never mind. I've worn

worse when i was your age.

Hey, anything left

in this month's allowance?

7 cents.

Could you use

this ten-spot?

Gee, sam bones.

All right. All right.

What's the use of having

an older brother

if he can't do you

some good?

Hey, how was

lawrenceville?

Quite a school, huh?

Sambo:
I didn't think

you'd last a week.

Maude:
Johnny!

Samuel:
Maude, he's too

old to be called johnny.

John, how are you,

my boy?

John, i know what

traveling is,

but, really,

your clothes.

Oh, come now,

maude.

Let the boy

be himself.

If he wants

to dress that way,

it's his affair.

Now, you've got

all summer to relax

and have

a good time.

I'm not gonna

mention school

until next

september.

Oh, tootsie said you had

something on your mind.

I know.

Take this $20.

When you go back

to lawrenceville,

i'm gonna raise

your allowance.

Thanks, dad,

and we won't mention

school all summer.

Right.

Come on, maude.

Let's get on

those bathing suits.

John:
Sundays.

My aunt's cat's pants.

Sundays.

No tennis.

No baseball.

No fishing.

Boy:
No picnics.

Well, since we're all

dressed up,

why don't we call on girls?

Girls! Puffy, what's

gotten into you?

Say, i got an idea.

It's a wonderful gag

i learned up in lawrenceville.

Now, first, we pick out

the girl here at the beach

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