The Happy Years Page #6

Shad:
I guarantee

that everything

will be fair

and above board.

6 pancakes coming up.

6 it is!

Not so fast, smeed.

Take your time.

They're a little

too hot.

Shad,

they're too hot.

Guard

the temperature

as well as the dimension. 6 more!

Shad:
6 it is!

John:
6 and 6

are 12.

This boy is starving.

Sure, he is.

He's eating way back

into last week.

He hasn't been

allowed a morsel

for 10 days.

6 more coming up!

24 and 6 make 30!

Conover:
30 pancakes are an awful lot.

The danger is-

angel:
Aw, shut up, conover.

Butsey:
Don't listen

to him, big man.

Canary:
He's only trying

to get you nervous.

Gee, what a man.

Where does he put it?

I'm a little dry.

Cheyenne:
Give him some water.

Angel:
Water,

you fools.

Butsey:
Water will

swell up the pancakes.

Shad:
No water.

John:
Quiet! What is it, big man?

I'm all right,

but i'd like just

a drop of syrup now.

Shad:
I'll get him

his syrup!

Conover:
No. No.

No syrup.

No more hot cakes.

I don't want him

to die on my hands.

Remember, guzzler wilkins collapsed,

and we had to work over him for an hour.

John:
Shut up,

conover.

That's an old gig.

Get out!

Let's try 6 more.

Wait a minute.

You only need two more.

That makes the 32.

If i say i can eat 6,

i can eat 6.

John:

6 more, shad.

Shad:
6 more

coming up.

6 and 30

makes 36.

36 pancakes?

3 more.

Shad:
3 more

coming up.

John:
36 and 3

make 39!

You go ahead and make a great record.

John:
42 and 3

make 45.

Look, big man.

Don't get rash.

I'll stop when

i'm ready to stop.

Bring more now,

one at a time!

49 and 1 make 50!

Holy cats!

That's all.

John:
49 pancakes!

49 pancakes!

John:
Quiet!

Quiet, everybody!

Quiet!

The winner and the new

world's champion

wishes to say

something.

If i've done something

for the school,

could i now please

have a...

nice nickname?

I don't like being called

"the great big man."

Of course you can

have a nickname!

I got-

i hereby christen you

"hungry smeed."

Hungry smeed!

Shad:
Hooray!

Shad:
Pancakes,

pancakes!

All:
We want pancakes!

Pancakes, pancakes!

We want pancakes!

Pancakes, pancakes,

pancakes!

We want pancakes!

John:
Free pancakes!

Free pancakes

for the whole school!

Free pancakes!

Free pancakes!

Hopkins:
Gentlemen,

we played two games

so far this season,

and frankly, the kennedy

house is ashamed of us.

You're not together.

You're not playing

like a team.

Private grudges,

personal rivalries,

disastrous morale.

Now, next week, we're playing

our traditional rivals,

the dickinson house.

Oh, i don't expect you

to beat dickinson,

but we're gonna make our

house cheer for us again.

We're going to show

that if we can't win,

we can go down fighting,

beaten in points, but

undefeated in spirit.

All right. Line up.

Stover...

i'm moving you

to right tackle

on the scrub today.

See if you can

raise some spirit

in the house

left tackle.

Left tackle?

Why, that's

tough mccarty!

Red, give the ball

to the scrub.

Let's see if you got

any nerve today, mccarty.

Stover, ordinarily,

i'm a nice, social guy,

but today, i'm gonna

squash you like a fly.

Aah!

Get off the field.

Jones,

get over here.

Stover, do you know

why i took you out?

For slugging.

Oh, no, not at all.

I took you out

because you forgot

you were playing

football.

You think you're only here

to indulge a personal enmity.

I got mad.

Well,

it's all right

to get mad

in a football game.

Get mad.

Get fighting mad,

but get cold mad.

Don't lose your temper.

Know what you're doing.

Now get back

on the field,

although this is probably

your last game of football,

all depending

upon your performance

in the classroom

tomorrow.

Hopkins:
It must be

the weather...

the cool autumn

weather.

But despite

the thermal handicaps,

could i hope to find

at least one man

who'll risk his destiny

in a tussle

with the tantalizing

twins of syntax,

the gerund

and the gerundive?

John:
I'd be

willing to try, sir.

My marks haven't been

very high lately,

and, well, i'd like

to improve them.

Ah, the ginger boy-

stover.

Inspired, no doubt, by his

temporary football success...

on the kennedy house

scrub, of course.

Well, stover,

third line,

third word-

gerund or gerundive?

Gerundive.

Is it possible?

Do miracles

still happen?

Fifth line,

eighth word-

gerund

or gerundive?

Gerundive, sir.

Very fortunate.

Next line,

second word-

gerund

or gerundive?

Ahem.

A gerund, sir.

Hmm. Dear me.

Uh, bring your book

to the desk, stover.

Ahem.

Hmm.

Everything proper.

No illegal markings.

Apologies, stover.

Profuse ones.

I'm quite upset.

Now, stover.

One more such success,

and i'll give you

a perfect mark

for the next week-

a highly unlikely

prospect.

Fifth line, third word.

Gerund or gerundive,

stover?

John:

Gerundive, sir.

Oh.

Well, dink, the old roman

had circles under his eyes.

He won't sleep tonight.

Well, he's been dying to

flunk me out of football,

but at last

i got him buffaloed.

Hopkins:
Having in mind

the extraordinary performance

last week by mr. Stover,

i venture a suspicion-

a complimentary suspicion-

that requires him

to recite again.

Stover,

if you please.

Fifth chapter,

first line, fourth word.

Gerund or gerundive?

You hesitate, stover?

Your erstwhile erudition

was merely a flash in the pan?

Too bad.

I should regret removing you

from football glory,

even on the house scrub, the very

day before the dickinson game.

Quite disgraceful,

eh, stover?

Gerundive.

Quite right.

By mere chance,

of course.

Same chapter,

fourth line,

third word.

Gerund...

dive!

Have i lived to see it?

Next page.

Fourth line, fifth word.

Gerund.

What?

Forgive my astonishment.

You think you can

keep this up, stover?

I'll try, sir.

A miracle

has come to pass.

Sit down, stover.

Obviously, the gerund

and gerundive-

the scylla and charibdes

of prosody-

have no longer

any terrors for you.

A sudden change in

the weather, no doubt.

Hey, dink.

What i want to know

was, how did you do it

with hungry smeed

absent from class?

Shad, i've spent

so much time

rehearsing

with hungry smeed

that i've learned the

gerund and the gerundive.

Referee:
Dickinson's ball

on their own 25-yard line.

First down,

5 yards to go.

Boy:
Get ready.

22, 27, 38.

Referee:
All right. Pileup.

Dickinson's ball

on their own 33.

First down, 5 yards to go.

Boy:
Get set. 38, 42.

Referee:
First down,

5 yards to go.

Boy:
Get set. 38, 42, 27.

Broken.

Who are you going

to put in now, sir?

Stover.

Stover?

Well, first,

he's a fighter,

and your team

isn't fighting.

Second, i believe the boy has

a genuine instinct for football.

I hope you're

right, sir.

Stover.

Stover, i'm going to put

you in at left end next half.

You're not-

you're not gonna

put me in.

What's the matter?

Getting scared?

Oh, no, sir.

It just seems awful

you haven't got anybody

better than me to put in.

You're going to be

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