The Hardy Bucks Movie Page #7

---

- Fun's over. Huh?

- It's only starting.

- What do you mean?

It's only starting. It's only starting.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't care any more.

- Pull off!

- Hey!

Hey! Hey!

I've got a spare ticket

to the game, boys.

You can drive off

and none of you are going to get it.

Hey, do you hear me?

- The old barbeque, Buzz.

- Yep.

Cannot f***ing beat it.

- The B.B.C., boy. You can't beat it.

- Hail to the chef, is that what it is?

- Yep.

- That's it, eh?

Listen, I'm sorry about bullying you

earlier on.

I only done it for the

good of your health.

Hey, that was a savage

bit of bullying.

I knew you'd appreciate it.

In fairness I'd have done the

f***ing same to any old c*nt, you know?

What you do with the

football ticket?

Jeez, you f***ing warmed

to that one fairly handy.

No, we're mates, like.

I don't know, I've just been

f***ing keeping them

and thinking about who deserves

them the most, you know?

Yeah?

Keeping that as leverage.

For as long as I've got it

like, c*nts are going to do whatever

I want basically.

- Don't tell them that though.

- No, I won't, I won't.

Class bit of cooking there.

- Toastie.

- What?

Where's the package?

It's safe.

It's under the seat inside.

Good.

Listen, all we need to do, right,

is be chilled out and

cool going across the borders.

That's all you need to do.

Would it not be better if we

just told the rest of the lads?

No.

If Salmon gets wind of this,

he'll sh*t himself.

He'll be on the first

plane out of here.

And then there'll be no

more funding this trip.

I don't know. Can I cope

with all this pressure, man?

Look, Toasteen,

if you tell the others,

God knows how they'll behave at the

borders. You get them spooked...

Yeah, they'll be

paranoid and everything.

Who's paranoid?

- What?

- Who'd get paranoid?

Oh, no, I was just saying all the

weed we've been smoking in Amsterdam.

- You're paranoid, man.

- Huh?

- Huh? What?

- What?

Frenchtoast, what's going on?

What the f*** do you want, man?

- What's happening?

- I'm going for a sh*t, man.

The toilet's blocked.

Can a man not just get a bit

of f***ing privacy?

What do you want, man?

I want to know what the f***'s going on

between yourself and Eddie.

Huh? There's nothing going on.

There's some f***ing dodgy sh*t

going down, boy.

Honestly, there's nothing going on.

Swear on your mother's life

no dodgy sh*t is going on so.

- I will, yeah.

- Go on, say it.

What?

Say, "I swear on my

mother's life that I,

"Frenchtoast O'Toole and Eddie Durkan,

have no dodgy sh*t going on. "

And you'll get this back.

Say it, Toasheen.

Do you wanna wipe

your bum or not?

Huh?

To pay off the debt we've got to get

that across the border to Poland.

F*** me.

- Is it hash?

- Yeah. Shh.

There's about

a hundred grand's worth, thousand,

I don't know how much is there.

Some crazy Dutch milf that wants

to make money off the football fans.

- Right.

- All right?

We've got to drop this to some guy

called Roman when we get to Poznan.

F*** that, we'll just

sell it at home, like.

We can't, she's got

our mobile phones.

And?

Yeah, she's got our contact details.

She's got our mothers' contact details,

she's got our fathers' contact details.

She's got our cousins' contact

details, right? - Yeah, yeah.

Now, if we don't get this to Roman

in the next two days,

her hard men will be on the

next flight home to Ireland.

I'm kind of scared but I'm turned

on at the same time.

What?

Listen, the reason Eddie

didn't want to tell you is

because he thought you'd get

all paranoid at the border.

Yeah, and because he's getting chased

around by a f***ing milf.

Toasheen, listen, I've

known you all me life.

You're like a brother to me, and

Eddie's like another brother to me.

- So two brothers you're like to me.

- Yeah.

- You know that, don't you?

- Yeah.

You know I'll always have your back.

You'll always have my back.

But if you get caught with this,

I don't know you, okay?

- Make your poo.

- Right.

- Why'd you have to go and tell me?

- It's not like I had a choice, like.

We all have choices. Yes or no.

You could have just said,

"No, I won't tell you. "

But oh, yeah, you had

to go and tell me.

I wish I could go back to when I was

young and I knew less stuff in my brain.

Hey please, Salmon.

F***ing hell, man,

would you stop snoring, please?

This'll f***ing shut him up.

He won't snore again, hey.

I can go back to sleep now,

count some snakes. Goodnight, boys.

Hello, there.

Welcome to my world,

won't you step inside?

Hello.

These boys are travelling with me

and I own the van.

But it's f***ing brilliant

like, you know?

I'm having a great time,

having a great time of it.

You're scaring the girls, man.

Go easy. They don't understand

what you're on about.

Do you know how to speak English?

You can sleep there if you like.

Me know a few people

who like to sleep...

- Is that French, is it?

- No.

Cards. Do you like cards?

Play shithead?

Sorry, need to reach.

Higgins.

We'll crack on.

That's another one of those,

f***ing silly dildo.

Stupid. I'll put that there.

Come on, Ireland!

And then if we're coming back,

there's a fridge.

Freezer.

- Shower.

- No, don't.

No, no, no. There's no spyholes or you

know, cameras or anything like that.

There's nothing weird going on

in this bus. Not on my watch.

Come on. Let's get back

to the f***ing bed.

No, no, don't go back there.

Don't bring them back.

- What are you on about?

- No, don't bother.

Shut up. Listen, you're just jealous.

This is where the magic happens.

You never even had a chance

to blow my vuvuzela.

The sky is gorgeous.

- It's lovely stuff, isn't it?

- It is lovely stuff, yeah.

- It's lovely, isn't it?

- Yeah, brilliant stuff.

The hash, like.

Why do you keep asking

about the hash, man?

Why do you keep asking

about the hash, man? Do'e?

We've been here for an hour now

and about three quarters of the hour have

been spent asking me questions about hash.

Go on.

There might be a bit of a

story behind the hash.

But listen, if I tell you...

Listen, I f***ing know well,

I know well, the craic.

I know what happened.

Fair play to you, you told them.

Well, I had to tell them, man. If you

can't tell your mates, who can you tell?

My mind is wrecked with

all this drugs craic, man.

I trusted you, man.

As long as Salmon and the Viper don't

find out, we're still in the clear, man.

- Hey, hang on a second.

- What?

How do you know that Buzz knew?

I thought it'd be f***ing

best if I told him.

All that sh*t you gave

me, and you told him?

You're a f***ing hypocrite.

- I'm not a hypocrite.

- You are a hypocrite.

I'm the captain of this ship, right?

And if it wasn't for me,

you wouldn't even be here.

Exactly.

Ah!

What the hell's that?

Buzz, man? Are you all right, mate?

No.

- Do you need some help, like?

- I might do, yeah.

What the f*** is wrong with you, eh?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes