The Hasty Heart Page #2

Yank's right.

Those Basutos are okay.

And great fighters, too.

I was with a company once.

You know, they let a whole year pass

without drawing a cent of their pay.

- Why? Were they ashamed of it?

- No, they let it pile up.

So when they go home they can buy

themselves a wife and a herd of oxen.

More likely an ox and a herd of wives.

All right. Tea up, tea up.

Come on, come on, get a move on!

The Sister's coming.

We're supposed to be finished.

- Goodbye, Sister.

- Goodbye, Johnny.

- You made it a nice war while it lasted.

- Thank you.

Good morning, Alfie.

- Good morning, good morning.

- Good morning, Sister.

- How is everyone this morning?

- Oh, good, I would think.

Tea up, Sister?

This tea tastes like

a baby's been boiled in it.

- Here, this is for you.

- Oh, thanks, Sister.

- Haven't you finished yet?

- Well, not quite, Sister.

Why not?

Weren't you told about the Colonel?

- Yes, but I...

- All right, then hurry up.

Let's see if we can get this place

looking a little less like a foxhole.

All right.

Oh, Jennings, after you're through

I want you to go to Ward 7.

There's a young Scotsman

who's coming here.

- Help him with his things.

- All right, Sister.

Did you say a Scotsman was coming here?

Yes. Now, hurry up,

the Colonel will be here soon.

What does Old Cobwebs want

this time of morning?

You will please show a little more respect

for the commanding officer.

You will not refer to Cobwebs...

To the Colonel as Old Cobwebs.

Anything for you, sweetheart.

I think you're getting well.

So, we're going to have a Scot in here.

It'll make a change

from looking at your ugly mug.

That's all I need, is a Scot.

- What's that?

- Well, let's have a look.

The fellas in number seven.

They're going home today.

Home. That must be a good feeling.

Hey, that must be the Scots bloke.

- I wonder why they didn't take him along?

- I don't know.

But I don't like him even from here.

What's the matter?

Don't you get along with the Scots?

I do not.

And I don't know anyone else who does,

except another Scot.

- Well, Sister's a Scot, isn't she?

- She is not.

She taught school there

for awhile, kindergarten.

After three months of trying to teach

a bunch of young Scots to speak English,

she had a nervous breakdown.

Well, she's fine, whatever she is.

She's lovely. Bless her little heart.

- What have you got against the Scots?

- I'm Scottish myself. Scotch descent.

You should've known

my grandfather, Angus.

There were two infallible beings

to his way of thinking.

Angus McDonald and God.

Sometimes God was wrong,

but never Grandfather Angus.

You know what he'd make me do

every time I lost my temper?

- No, what?

- Recite the books of the Bible.

- Get away.

- You didn't.

Well, I can still do it.

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers,

Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth,

Samuel, Kings, Chronicles,

Ezra, Nehemiah,

Esther, Job, Psalms, Proverbs,

Ecclesiastes, Solomon,

Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations,

Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos,

Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum,

Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai,

Zechariah, and Malachi!

You wonder why I hate the Scots.

He must've been a terror,

your grandfather.

You know what he'd do

if you got the best of him in an argument?

He'd pretend he didn't hear you

and start playing his bagpipes.

How I learned to hate bagpipes!

Now I know why the Scots

always march when they play them.

They're trying to get away from the sound.

Yes, sir, if it were humanly possible

for me to get rid of my Scottish blood,

I'd donate it all to the Red Cross!

Sister, don't look now,

but the Colonel just left his office.

Oh, thank you.

- Jennings, finish with those beds.

- Right.

- Get those nets rolled.

- Come on, Tommy, be quick.

Well, I'm doing my best.

Here, hide these under

the covers with you.

- He'll think I'm bloated, Sister.

- You can say that again.

Blossom, Blossom, line up the beds.

- Good morning.

- Good morning, sir.

- Good morning.

- Good morning, sir.

Sit down.

- You keep a nice, tidy ward, Sister.

- Thank you, sir.

- Have you told them anything?

- No, sir.

Just that he's coming here.

- You're getting fatter.

- Yes, sir.

I didn't think it was possible.

- Well, how's the face?

- Better, thank you, sir.

We shall have to get that beard

off you one day.

- See what you really look like.

- Oh, don't do that, sir.

Well, as the Sister's told you,

I'm sending over a new patient.

I came here this morning

to enlist your help with him.

Our help, sir?

- Yes. You see...

- What sort of help, sir?

- You're the American, aren't you?

- Yes, sir. Ambulance driver.

Got malaria in the British zone,

been here ever since.

Sort of reverse lend-lease, sir.

I see. Well, you can help, too.

Sit down.

Now, about this patient.

We did an emergency operation on him.

The day war ended, poor beggar.

Took a piece of shrapnel out of him,

had to remove a kidney.

He's about recovered from the operation,

but I think you could help him.

- In what way, sir?

- By keeping him contented.

You see, he wants to go home,

as we all do, but as far as he's concerned

that's quite out of the question.

You and I,

all of us will be leaving here soon,

but not this man.

He'll die here.

But you said he'd about recovered, sir.

And so he has, from the operation itself.

That's not the difficulty.

You see, he has one kidney left.

Now normally

that would carry him through life.

Unfortunately,

we've discovered that it's defective.

For a very limited time it'll do

the work of two, then collapse.

Uremic poisoning will set in,

and that's the end.

- Does the patient know this, sir?

- No.

No, I decided against telling him.

First, I couldn't,

and later it seemed a good idea

not to tell him at all.

He has no family, no ties,

and worry won't help.

I'm placing him here because,

well, it seems to me

that a man should have friends

around him when he dies.

That's your job.

To be friends with him, make him...

Make him happy.

How long has he got, sir?

Well, that's very difficult to say.

Not more than a few weeks.

And nothing can help him, sir?

The only help anyone can give him

now will come from you.

Well?

- We'll try to make it easy for him, sir.

- We'll do our best, sir.

He won't learn he's due

to kick off from us, sir.

They're good men, sir.

You can rely on them.

Thank you. Thank you all.

It's a pity it has to be like this.

Most unfortunate.

- It's a shocker.

- It's always a shocker.

A few weeks, he said.

Blimey, we'll just get to know him.

Why can't a bloke live without a kidney?

He can get along all right without a brain.

- Hey, Yank?

- Yeah?

Would you want to know it?

If you were going to die?

I am going to die, someday.

I'd just as soon let

God surprise me though.

- Are you sure you don't want any help?

- I need no help!

- Come on, mate...

- I told you, I need no help!

Here he is, Sister.

- Why'd you let him carry all that?

- He wouldn't let me touch it.

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