The Hateful Eight Page #9

- Oui-

- Oui - what is that mean?

- It means yes.

Oui - Yes.

- Hey Dave, ask me if my ass is fat.

- What?

- Ask me if my ass is fat?

- It is.

- I said ask me!

- Why?

- Just do it!

- Is your ass fat?

Oui, look at that y'all

I can speak French.

Are you the jelly bean

salesman around here?

How many peppermint

sticks I get for a nickel?

Five.

All right.

- Here.

- Thank you sugar.

Okay.

Allow me to assist you, madame.

I brought in your bags

in case anybody wants

to change your clothes

before Red Rock.

Peppermint stick?

Thanks.

So why do they call you

Six Horse Judy anyway?

Cause I'm the only Judy you've ever seen

that could drive a six horse team?

Hell yeah, kinda of a stupid question.

- Could you holding this for me?

- Rock steady, madame. Rock steady.

You gotta' very sweet accent,

where that from, England?

- I take exception to that!

- New Zeeland.

- Carefull, madame.

- Is it anywhere near Old Zealand?

Auckland, what the

f*** is an Auckland?

It's where I'm from,

it's our biggest city.

- Coffy's ready!

- It's about damn time.

- Best coffy on the mountain.

- I'll don't know 'bout all that.

Stagecoach drivers like it. Passengers,

not so much.

Most find it a

mite too strong.

Can't be too strong on

this mountain, thank you.

Well, what'd ya' think?

Sh*t!

He adds something,

not much, but something.

What do you think, Pete?

Well I must admit, he does make

the set up more convincing.

Do we collect the bodies

and chuck 'em in the well out there?

And then start unhitching the horses

and get 'em in the barn and get 'em fed.

Well hang on, by puttin the

horses away that's easy enough.

To drag these fat bastards up and down the

mountain that's f***ing impossible, mate.

Look I just started working here.

Whatever Minnie to make y'all mad.

I had nothing to do with it.

Well old man,

if you was a cat what

just happened here

would count as one of your nine lives.

You realize how close you came to being

tossed on a pile of n*ggers?

- Yes. And when it comes to that pile

of n*ggers we building out back,

won't take nothin' to make you

General of it. You believe that?

- I expect no less.

- Not so fast old man.

You might have a way out of this yet.

Later today,

dirty son of a gun's gonna come in here.

And he's gonna have my sister with him,

and he's gonna have her in chains.

He's taking her into Red Rock to be hung.

- You know why?

- No.

Ten thousand dollars.

That's why.

And when he get's here.

I'm gonna' kill that fella'

and turn my sister lose.

Now do you have any reason

why you'd want to interfere

with me saving my sister

from a hangman's rope?

- No.

- You don't.

- No I don't.

- You sure you don't.

I mean we did just kill

Minnie and Sweet Dave.

You and Sweet Dave

seemed pretty chummy over here.

I just met these people. I don't give a

damn about them, or you, or your sister,

or any other son of a b*tch

in Wyoming for that matter.

That is a good answer, old man.

So when they get here,

you just sit your ass in this chair.

And you don't do nothin'.

You don't say nothin'. Hello, thank

you, good night, that's about it.

Maybe your name, but that's it.

Hello, thank you, good night and...

- Maybe your name.

- Maybe my name.

Be an old man, be dotty.

Go to sleep.

And don't you say nothin'

and I mean nothin'

to that bounty hunter

that's got my sister.

- Do you understand?

- Yes.

When it's safe I kill him,

free my sister and leave you be.

Deal?

Deal, thank you.

During the next four hours, Jody and the

boys chuck the bodies down the well.

Put away the horses.

Tidied around Minnie's.

Stash weapons for further use.

And waited for John Ruth

and Daisy's Stage to arrive.

Here they come.

Okay boys, this is it, get ready!

Let's get ready.

Now remember, it dosen't matter

if we have four men or fory,

we're still gonna' be

facing John Ruth chained

to my sister with a pistol

pointed at her belly.

Now killin' that fella' 'fore he

kills my sister, ain't gonna' be easy.

But you believe that's

exactly what we're gonna do.

So the name of the game here is patience.

Trapped here for two or three days,

at some point, he will close his eyes

and that's when you

blow the top of his head off.

Remember old man, my sister don't make it

off this mountain alive, neither do you.

I'll do my best.

Good luck, mate.

What the hell's going on,

we weren't expecting another stage tonight?

I can see

you already got another one up in here.

I just got through putting the horses away.

This ain't the normal line. But we are

stuck on the wrong side of a blizzard,

so it looks like you're stuck with us.

I can do another one.

And Sweet Dave inside?

They ain't here.

I'm running the place while they're gone.

Where's Minnie and Sweet Dave?

He says they ain't here. He's lookin'

after the place while they gone.

- Who are you?

- I'm Bob.

Well whoever you are,

help O.B. with the horses.

Get 'em outta this cold,

before that blizzard hit's 'em.

I just put those other horses away.

You need it done fast, you need to help.

I got two of my best men on it.

You heard him freeloaders,

get to work.

Come on let's go!

- Open up!

- You have to kick it open! - What?

Kick it open!

Last Chapter

Black Man, White Hell

How you doin' old boy?

They shot my nuts off they're freezin'

burining up the same time,

bleedin like a stuck pig.

I think I'm gonna die.

And these motherfuckers did it.

That's how I'm doin'.

How you doin'?

Well my leg hurts really bad.

But I think if I'm put all

my weight on my right foot-

I'm just bein' sarcastic

I don't give a f*** about your leg.

Just make yourself comfortable.

Don't worry about my comfort.

Sh*t! I can't feel my ass no more.

Worry about these owl hoots and that

bushwhacker nuts shooter in the basement.

All right!

You!

Fella' in the basement!

You either give up by the

time I count to three,

or I shoot Domergue in the head.

One!... Two!...

No, no, no, no! Don't shoot her!

I'm comin' up!

Hold on there you bushwhacker

sack shooter, you

just open the door we

tell you to come up!

Now throw out your pistol!

Throw it to the bed.

Well he got another.

Now throw out your other pistol.

I ain't got another pistol!

Well you better sh*t

another pistol out your ass!

Cause if you don't throw one up here in the

next two seconds we gonna' kill this b*tch!

See? told ya'.

Now...

with your hands where we can see 'em...

slowly come on up!

How ya' doin' dummy?

Better now I see your ugly face.

How you like you that?

You bushwhacker castrator!

What are you doin' he was giving up?

It took him too long so I done for him.

Joe Gage get your

ass over and shut this trap door.

I'm sorry, honey.

May I sit in the chair?

Yes you may.

Keep your hands flat on that table.

And don't move 'em.

Mannix!

You sure picked the wrong time to turn

into a n*gger lover.

Don't you see that n*gger and John Ruth

put you smack dab in the middle of danger?

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