The Haunted World of El Superbeasto Page #7

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# It's all right to

jerk off to cartoons #

# The Japanese do it every day #

# So rub one out for the U.S.A. #

# The U.S.A. #

Ooh, you're gonna get it!

- # Pull the leg back, hear it crack #

- Owee!

Say my name, b*tch!

Feel that sh*t, Mamita!

# Bite the ass #

# Jump up, gonna kick you back #

Splish splash... #

Takenzie her top offen!

Show us her boobies!

# 'Cause masturbation's

good for your prostate #

# It lowers blood pressure

and it helps you sleep #

# U.S.A. #

# Watch where you're a-steppin' #

# You better grab a weapon

at the cat fight #

# Cat fight #

# Time to f***in' take her #

# Punch her in the babymaker

at the ca-at #

# Fight #

# Cat #

# Fight #

# Cat fight #

# Cat fight cat fight

cat fight cat fight cat fight #

# Cat fight. #

Who's the ho now, b*tch?

And the new Mrs. Satan by T.K.O.

in the first round,

Suzi X!

You gonna leave

Velvet von Black?

F*** you all!

I got a pre-nup!

Half!

Null and void.

Oh, Doctor, you

don't look so good.

I think you got a little something

something going on upstairs.

What the hell?

- According to the handbook--

- Handbook?

Really? Is that the best that you--

and by you I mean the writers--

could come up with?

Hey, Shakespeare,

the strike's over.

Now get back to work.

All right, let's get this over with.

You had that book and

you never said a thing?

You idiot!

Give me that!

"Dr. Satan will shrink

back to normal size

if he squashes his unholy bride

with the heel of his cloven hoof

- under a crescent moon...

- Wazzup?

...as an albino Barry Manilow lookalike

warbles through "Copacabana"

under a shower of rainbow sparkles

while a disgustingly cute kitten

screams a Moroccan death chant.

Great. Now here are we gonna

find a kitten like that?

Hey, buddy, I don't want to be rude,

but I was, like, staring at your crotch,

and it seems like

your package is purring.

Hey-oh!

Come on, get me

the f*** out of here!

I stand corrected.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

I got you, Suzi!

Thanks, my big, metal

manboy machine!

That's me, Murray.

Murray loves Suzi.

So I'm a little smaller. So what?

I know how this

high school thing works.

I've got the homecoming queen

and now it's time to put

the school bully in his place!

Medic.

Are we done now?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, my blueberries!

And now a little smashing

of the old fuckface.

Eat this, love muffin.

Sir, might I suggest a bit

of the old Brixton 9000?

Oh!

Yeah!

What the hell you

lookin' at, b*tch?

Eh, nada, mein homey.

Hey, that's Spanish!

Okay, I think what we

should do is, um--

Run!

Come on, Wilhelm, ride

it like you stole it!

Oi--

temporary setback.

Nothing a little ointment

won't fix.

Huh?

Oh, sweet heaven.

Well, I did it again.

Saving the world is like

riding a bicycle.

Oh, I know where this is going.

You really never forget

how it's done.

Come on, Murray,

let's go.

Some say it's my

superior strength.

Did you see how I--

Oh, well.

Ladies, anyone up for some

hot wings?

Welcome back to

"The Morris Green Show."

Ladies and gentlemen,

my next guest--

oh, he's a big favorite

of my wife Dodi.

She just loves to see two men

entwined in a sweaty embrace.

She also loves it when it's

in the wrestling ring.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Superbeasto.

Hello! Good to see you!

It's so great to have you here.

How do you do it?

Well, look, I don't want

to dwell on the fact

that I saved the planet again.

I mean, it's just what I do.

But you do have a new rock 'n' roll

compact disc, I understand.

Aw, where did you get that?

Well, your publicist sent it over.

It's just a little project

I put together

with a certain group known as--

Loverboy!

# Everyone's watchin' #

# To see what you will do #

- # Everyone's... #

- Hurry! You're missing it.

Cool your jets, Mr. Roboto.

I've seen it all before.

I heard somebody's been

a naughty little mechanical boy

and needs some serious discipline.

Oh my God!

I see someone's

in the mood for love!

Functions not functioning!

Now, let's try out those

new special modifications.

Yes, Mistress Suzi,

whatever you say.

Fasten your seatbelt, Murray.

It's gonna be a bumpy night!

- Yeah, baby! Whoo!

- Oh boy!

- Oh, man!

- Yeah, baby!

- Never stop! Never never!

- Baby, faster!

# Everyone's lookin' #

# To see if it was you #

# Everyone wants... #

Oh, God, give me strength.

Why do you subject me

to this meaningless drivel

night after night?

At least put on BBC 1.

There's a riveting history

of Lord Byron's teacup collection--

Quick talking like a book, monkey.

You ain't here to talk.

Put your filthy paws on me,

you damn dirty ape!

Aagh! What the f***?

Don't break a b*tch!

# Come on, baby, let's go! #

Hey, it's you again.

We gotta stop

meeting like this.

Did you like the movie?

My part was pretty good.

I could have done without

all the potty humor.

Instead of a punchline,

they just flash some titties.

Not that I'm complaining.

I haven't seen a set

of whoppers like that

since Ava Gardner.

What a rack!

Okey-dokey, smokey,

I guess that's it.

You really should go now.

Yeah.

No no no.

You should really go now.

Okay. All right,

you asked for it.

Howdy, folks!

My name's Betty Sue Lou

and it's my great pleasure to

introduce tonight's special guests.

Straight from their two-night stand

at the Barn Door

Exit 7 off Route 91 in Ruggsville--

all-you-can-eat fish popper Mondays--

kids love their poppers--

here they are, the one and only

Banjo and Sullivan!

Yee-ha!

# Liquored up in Jackson

after the show #

# Bucket full of wild oats

I had to sow #

# Promoter said he knew

just where I should go #

# Hundreds of women

for old Adam Banjo! #

Oh, f*** me! Just get

me out of here!

# 1,000 pickup trucks

in a gravel parking lot #

# Looked at my roadie,

said, "Ready or not!" #

# Splashed on Hai Karate #

# Ready to run my race #

# Took a look around, there wasn't

no woman in the place #

# Dick soup #

# Cock salad #

# Can't sing a ballad #

# Don't give a hoot #

# Dick soup #

# Dick soup-- #

All right, Pops, I think it's about time

I end this fiasco of a picture show.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

Come on, Mama, let's boogie.

Oh dear, that's going to leave a mark.

Make room for Daddy!

Cow-a-yah!

Oh, hello, Officer.

Don't pull me over now.

Nice tools.

- Hah.

- Where's your casino?

Take a look at this guy.

Those chaps should be illegal.

Hey, ain't this great,

a bunch of guys can get together

and dance without being all gay?

Oh! Hey, easy, pal.

I'm not being no f***ing cowboy.

B*tch.

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