The Heart of the Deal Page #3

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[ Whistling ]

Very sexy!

- Excuse me?

- Hot!

- What is wrong with you?

- Is that the V-series?

- I don't know!

This is a cell phone.

Use it.

- This is a gift for me?

- Yes.

- Seriously?

- Yes.

- Oh!

This is Peter and Paul.

They're our new writers.

I thought we should have them

here for the meeting.

Guys, Deidre Hearn

from the studio.

- Hi.

- Right. Yes.

Charlie, can we talk?

There isn't going

to be a meeting.

The script has gone from

a beautifully-written

arthouse film to--

- Action-adventure?

- It is crass, vulgar,

anti-Semitic, anti-Arab,

anti-Muslim, sexist--

- Pile of dogshit! That's

why I got the new writers!

- We are not sending this

script to Bobby Mason.

- We already did.

That's why we're

having this meeting.

OK guys, let's

go take a meeting.

Come on!

- OK, so, Ben Disraeli,

freedom fighter...

Mind if I just jump in there?

Put in my 5--

we wait for Bobby?

Mind if I just jump in there?

Put in my 5--- Should

- A little cart

before the horse.

Bobby doesn't do meetings.

- I thought it was

calledBill and Ben.

- This is the new draft.

- I'm sorry, Rabbi.

My assistant didn't get the new

draft to you. She's a temp.

- I'm only the

executive producer.

- Associate.

- We all know a Bobby Mason

picture's not high art,

and we get some pretty

horrendous scripts,

but Deidre,

it's pure horseshit.

No way we'll do this.

- Paul and I

have some ideas.

There are some

thematic themes...

- Can I trouble you

for some Sweet and Low?

- Mark, it was premature

for you to get this draft.

It needs a lot of work.

There was a

communications glitch.

- So the Arabs have the

drop on Ben and the girl.

What if instead,

he makes a speech,

like something from

the Torah or the Talmud...

help me out.

like something from

the Torah or the Talmud...i,

- Don't ask me, I wasn't

even sent a script.

- I know Bobby's been on this

yit kick... No offense, Rabbi.

- None taken.

- Bobby is looking

for Jewish content,

and we are

committed to that,

and it is a daunting task.

- Guys, I don't know. I'm not a

writer, I'm just a manager.

Like here, there's a big action

sequence which is OK,

but then you need a rest.

And if there's ever

a place for

again, I'm not a writer,

but page 36, joke.

I'd think that would be

an appropriate moment.

- Two Jews are shopping

for swimwear...

You tell this.

She tells this so well.

Come on, hon.

- So, that went well,

don't you think?

- It did. You can

green light the picture.

They need to start

shooting by April.

- What?

- Hold on one second.

Guys, great meeting.

- It went well.

- Yeah.

I'm gonna have to let

you go. Excellent notes.

Very intuitive.

- You want to fill me in?

- Mark's going to try.

We'll have a script

in 2 weeks.

- He's a manager.

- Yeah, but he

really wants to write.

Meet me at the Sky Bar.

- Why?

- To celebrate.

We're making a movie!

[ Engine sputtering ]

Crap!

Well, yahoo yahoo!

We are making a picture!

We are a go!

They're going to start rolling

the cameras in April.

You doing your laundry?

- This is not

stained glass windows!

In fact, there's not a word of

min this entire script!

- There's got to be one.

- No. You betrayed me.

This is garbage! And I don't

want my name on it.

- You're just saying that

because you're angry

and because you got taste.

But don't take

your name off it.

No name, no residuals. Trust me.

- Trust you?

F*** you!

Everyone warned me

about Hollywood.

But it's not Hollywood, it's not

showbiz, it's you Uncle Charlie,

and it's people like you!

I spent 2 years on this script!

I wrote and I re-wrote it,

and I didn't stop

until it was perfect,

and this is what you do?

- Deidre Hearn

liked your script.

And she's smart.

Keep writing.

All this idealism,

it's charming,

if it works for you.

Write the truth.

Extol the virtues

of motherhood.

But Mom better be 20 years old

with great tits.

- There you go.

Thank you.

- You want to explore the

triumphs and failures

of humankind, you go for it.

But you better blow

something up by page 20!

- Take my name off

this goddamn script!

Sh*t!

[ Phone ringing ]

- Sweet mother of God,

is it always this hot?

- No, this is autumn.

Summertime hot.

- When the terrorists

are at the mines

and the camels start to run--

- Camels? No camels.

- It says it the script--

- I don't work

with no camels.

If you want to make a movie

about shitting camels, OK.

No camels!

- This is good. I like.

- We can shoot in

that direction only.

Here we have the nuclear power

plant, and here you have--

- Beautiful! We shoot

in that direction.

- This is the Table Mountain.

You don't have a

Table Mountain in the script.

[ Yelling in Hebrew ]

- Two minutes, guys,

then we flip a coin.

- Nazi idiot!

- Charlie, we got a

situation here, mate.

- We've searched fruitlessly

for days for this exact look!

- We cannot shoot but in

that direction only.

- Is there any difference in

cost between the 2 locations?

- Nah, 6 of one.

- Call it, Levy.

- It's not a joke,

it's not a game.

- OK, you're heads.

Tails. Hans wins.

- Not funny, Charlie.

You mock me, and--

- Be a sport. Maybe

you'll win the next one.

- I can't work like this!

- Are you quitting?

Levy, what's the name

of that Australian director

you can't stand?

The one who won.

- Soundman, not the director!

- The year you were nominated

and he won. What's his name?

[ Yelling in Hebrew ]

- Nightmare! Nightmare!

- You guys look exhausted.

Listen, Levy, Fiona Hicks.

I've worked out the dates with

her agent for that conflict,

so can I book?

- It's all shadow.

I cannot see her body.

Ask her to Polaroid her body,

then I make decision.

- I can't ask her to do that.

- She have nice tits?

I assume so.

She's 26 years old.

- Call her agent and book her.

Then have the art department

Photoshop Fiona's head

onto a nice body

and give it to Levy.

- Boss, these are for you.

- No, you answer them all,

or just throw them away.

[ Phone ringing ]

- Mr. Bern's office.

Just a moment.

It's your assistant.

- You're my assistant.

- Your L.A. assistant,

Catherine.

- I have an L.A. assistant?

Hello?

Did I get the swatches?

- What are swatches?

- Yeah, I got 'em.

They're just fine.

You decide. Whatever

you want is fine with me.

Just not Mexican.

I hate Mexican.

? Mexican music ?

- Mr. Berns, dinner

is cancelled for tonight

and rescheduled

for tomorrow night.

- Good. What dinner?

- With the studio executive.

- She's coming tonight?

- I believe so.

- Is she staying at my hotel?

- I believe so.

- Tell Andrei and Levy I'll

take the suit to dinner.

Keep the reservation for 2.

Put some flowers in her room.

- Yes, sir.

- And a nice bottle of wine.

- Charlie, Danny Turner.

How's it going?

How are you?

How's the prep going?

You about two weeks out?

- Good evening, sir.

- Grey Goose martini,

extra olives.

Thanks for the

flowers, by the way.

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