The Heart of the Deal Page #5

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Woo! Fantastic!

- Is this what you wanted

to talk to us about?

- I got questions about the

script, but that's tomorrow.

I'm excited about this one.

The spiritual aspects.

[ Speaking Hebrew ]

- He said it was important.

- Thank you.

- Good night.

- No, I'm sorry.

You know, I really

shouldn't drink.

So I just believe

we should maintain

a very professional

professionalism.

Good night, Charlie.

- Good night.

[ Door closing ]

[ Dialing ]

- Oh, yes.

- You have room to move?

- Yeah, that's fine.

- Hello?

- Hey! We're

just finishing.

Fiona, this is Deidre

Hearn from the studio.

- Lovely to meet you.

- Thank you for doing

this. I'm such a fan.

- Oh, thank you.

I've got a bit of a concern.

In 127, after the

jeep's rolled over,

and we're scrambling about,

it says I catch my

blouse on the jagged metal.

Now I'm not a prude,

you understand, and

I've been working out,

but it does seem

unlikely, doesn't it,

that the uniform

would tear just so.

See what I mean?

- You have a point.

- It's a little obvious.

- Don't you think?

- Charlie Berns.

Welcome to South Africa.

- We met in London.

- Oh yeah, at the...

- We were just talking.

- Excuse me.

- Scene 127.

I just don't want

it to look set-up.

- The way it rips off.

- Excuse me, Charlie,

can I talk to you?

- Yeah. No, it

shouldn't look obvious.

- Oh good.

- Any way you

get your shirt off

is OK with me.

- Right. OK...

Well, I have an idea.

- Do you?

- I'm looking right

at it. Call you back.

[ Chuckling ]

Well, they're furious.

They want to know

if there are

other executive producers

they need to know about.

[ Laughing ]

- Guys, Bobby needs to see

the two of you right away.

He's pretty upset.

He's at the hotel.

- What do you think? Monogrammed

tallises for the crew?

- Oy vey Maria!

So what are you saying? It's too

violent, you want to cut it?

- No, you're missing my point.

There isn't any guy who gets his

ass kicked in one of my movies

who's not a major sleazebag.

A terrorist,

Viet Cong, dope dealer,

anybody against freedom.

Who wrote this sh*t?

Plus, you got me running

around with an Uzi.

- F*** a Uzi.

- This guy's slammin'

into this jeep!

- You need that Mauser M80.

- Shut the f*** up!

This is about 2,000 years

of persecution.

There's got to be more Jewish

between these bullits!

Am I right, Rabbi?

- Well, I would--

- I don't disagree.

- And the chick, Fiona Hicks.

Is that a Jewish name, Rabbi?

- I have no idea.

Many names have been altered--

- And what sh*t-ass

decides the temple scene,

the biggest scene

in the f***ing movie,

we shoot it on

the second day, huh?

- I'm that sh*t-ass, Bobby.

But here's what

I'm dealing with.

- Andrei, I think I can

s for all of us.

Bobby, you're obviously nervous

because we start

shooting tomorrow

and you probably feel foolish

that you didn't read the

script until you got here.

You're worried you're

not a very good actor.

But everybody knows that,

and it's just not

important for this movie.

This is nothing but insecurity,

which is completely

understandable

given the grosses

of your last picture.

So here's what

we're going to do.

You'll show up, on time, you'll

use the weapons we give you,

you'll say the lines as written,

or we'll sue your ass!

And all those Bobby

Mason stories

you've managed to keep out of

the press will come to light.

We all have things to do.

You get a good night's sleep.

What time's his call?

- 5:
30.

- Good. Learn your lines and

I'll see you on the set.

Oh, and for whatever it's worth,

I think you're absolutely right,

the writing sucks.

I'm going to fire the writer.

[ Whistling ]

Wow, OK...

- What was that tough sh*t,

tough love, tough producer...

- Yup. I'd say all of that.

- Are they following us?

Let's take the elevator.

- He's not going to show up.

- He'll show up.

- He won't.

- He'll show up.

- Andrei?

- I wouldn't bet on it.

- I will.

- How much?

- We pick it up in the shower,

where he walked in.

- 100 bucks.

- Andrei, you want

a piece of this?

- Thank you.

- No, I meant of the bet.

Well, I don't want it now!

- 100 bucks.

- You're on.

What time is it?

- 5:
28.

- Morning!

Hate to bother you with this,

but the director

doesn't have time.

- The scene this afternoon.

When... the black chap.

What's his name?

- Bobby Mason.

- When he s

"Ambassador, if I ever

forget that night,

"then my life don't mean sh*t,"

what exactly is he referring to?

- He's referring to the

attack on the temple.

- Then what is his relationship

with the Jews?

- He is one. He's Jewish.

- Oh, it does make

more sense, doesn't it?

Thank you so much. Cheers.

Morning!

- It's 5:
30.

Pay up.

- Excuse me, these

are from Bobby.

The salmon was flown in

this morning from Scotland.

- Bobby's here?

- He's been here since 5:00.

He's running lines.

He's running lines.you.

What's that phrase, uh...

Oh yeah. I told you so.

- And here we go, and rolling!

Weapons hot, and camera!

- Move! Come on! Go!

Stay low!

- Ben, you're bleeding!

- On my count, I'm going

to take out the sniper,

I want you to get

the machine gun.

OK. Ready?

Go! Go!

- Cut!

- Was that me?

- Come on!

- Sorry!

- Come on!

Who is she? Is she a model?

This is an action movie.

We must stop and re-cast.

It's not fashion TV, man!

This is impossible!

I'm telling you, she throws

like a girl! What is this?

- Let's give Rolf a few moments

to work with the actress.

- Keep this arm straight.

- [Andrei]:
I thought the

last one was better.

- Now you're directing! Shh!

Coffee!

- And stretch!

[ Speaking Hebrew ]

- Are you coming back, Levy?

[ Speaking Hebrew ]

- 127 apple, take 5.

Take 22.

- Cut!

[ Applause ]

-Ladies and gentlemen,

that is a wrap!

Thanks be to God.

- And Steven is the most

generous contributor.

- Really!

- Of course Mel Brooks likes to

come for the High Holy Days.

- Uncle Charlie?

- I hired him.

- Can I talk to

you for a second?

- He's a terrific little writer.

He just has to

clean up a few scenes

and up the Jewish for Bobby.

- Yeah, whatever.

I just wanted to ask you.

Are you going to

sleep with me anymore?

- No.

- Are you sure? That's

what you said before.

- I'm sure.

- You understand the question?

- Yeah.

- Uh, how did it go?

- You're good.

Everything's fine.

- Deidre, I'm so sorry.

I feel like a fool.

At least we got through it.

- Don't worry. Do you

know Lionel Travitz?

- Oh, the writer!

Well, um, bravo.

- Well, I'm more the architect.

- Oh, Hans!

Excuse me, sorry.

We have to talk

about the pre-call.

- Wow, it's an

honour to meet you.

How did your first day go?

- Not particularly well.

Apparently I throw like a girl.

- Well, you are a girl.

- And I sport a black,

lacy bra to prove it.

Care to join me

in a drink or 5?

- Uh, sure.

- Great.

Nice hat.

Oh, thanks.

I got it in Los Angeles.

- Oh, I love L.A.

- Pull the scrim!

I don't care if it's broken.

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