The Heart of the Deal Page #9

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I'm in a coma from ecstasy!

And now, dear England, finally,

France can once and

forever more, shut up!

- Cut!

[ Speaking Czech ]

- [Skip]:
Cut. That's a cut,

thank you.

Excellwork, everyone.

- Hans?

-Gut!

- Sir, can I check the gate?

- Check the gate.

- Good gate.

- Good gate.

- Gate's good.

[ Speaking Hebrew ]

- I love you all.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm relieved to inform you

thatBill and Ben

is a wrap!

[ All cheering ]

?? Wish you more success ?

? More than I could ever have ?

? I wish you

the most happiness ?

? Good friends

are hard to find ?

? Don't make

the mistakes I've made ?

? And if you do

don't be afraid ?

- Where's the champagne?

Where's the beers?

? Social loners

and deadbeat hacks ?

? I open my arms for you ?

- Hi, Grier!

You've got a knack for

finding wrap parties.

- You think you

can f*** with us?

This film will never--

- Sit down.

- I don't want to sit!

- Are you OK?

- Let me help you out on this.

I'm pretty good at it.

You go back to L.A.

You say,

"Those stupid producers!

"When I said salvage

what you can,

"They thought I meant

keep shooting!

"When I got to Prague,

they wrapped."

- You're pretty cute.

- "And then I thought..."

This is you talking.

"Then I thought,

"They got Nigel Bland,

Ian Chadwick for a song

"Why not look at

some footage? A rough cut.

"It'll cost us nothing."

- We had that tax money

just sitting in Prague.

- Good night, darlings.

Congratulations.

- It may not be

a total piece of crap.

Worst case,

straight to video.

- Hi, Linda!

- Linda!

We got the shot!

- Fab!

- She's a great

costumer, by the way.

You should use her again.

- How's your wife?

It's Pam, isn't it?

We used to do yoga together.

- I'm going to be

the first to admit

this story's got holes in it.

Like, "Where have you

been for 3 days?"

But you can work on that part on

the airplane on the way home.

Does your mom still

live in Chicago?

- Yeah.

- Your folks

still together?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Where you going?

- I'm going to get

my own room, Charlie.

- You don't take yoga, do you?

- I have.

- Yeah, but not with...

- No.

- Good for you.

- I've been well-taught.

[ Engine starting ]

- Good for me.

I'll see you at the premiere.

- [Skip]:
You will, mate,

if you send me a ticket.

- Thank you.

Bye, Deidre.

- Honey, don't cry.

- Goodbye. Send a rough

cut in a month, yeah?

- You really took

one for the team.

- I took many, for him.

- Ciao.

- Ciao.

- See you in LA!

- See you in Israel!

- Bye, Lionel, Levy!

? Good friends

are hard to find ??

- I read a script, and I

really think you'd like it.

It's about a Russian

mathematician.

It's right up your alley.

Nothing happens,

and it's really important.

A bunch of guys

theorizing about numbers.

Huh?

I think we should

work together.

We're a good team.

Berns and Hearn.

Sounds like a vaudeville act.

You're really smart,

and I'm nuts.

That's a good balance.

- What do you want, Charlie?

- I'll take a vodka tonic

if you're getting up.

I want to work together,

like partners.

- What I need to know is that

when the going gets tough--

- Can I have my seat back?

- No.

- Yes.

- Could you give us

just a few seconds?

- No, we don't need it.

- Would you switch

with me? I'm in 5a.

- He doesn't want

to switch seats.

- He's a grown man. I think

he can decide for himself.

- Will you go take

your assigned seat?

- We have to work

together a lot.

- No! Go away and

sit in your seat!

[ Sighing ]

- What if I can--

[ Gasp ]

OK, OK...

- I didn't mean to eavesdrop,

but I couldn't help overhear

you and your friend.

My son-in-law has

written a script

and I think you might

find it fascinating.

It's set during the

- Come on, folks.

You gotta move these cars.

- Well, thank you, Charlie.

- We had some fun, huh?

Bobby's kidnapping...

You sure this is

what you want to do?

- You had your fun,

you told your jokes,

show's over, time to go home.

- I don't want to go home.

- Why?

- There's a jacaranda

growing out of my pool.

- I can't be your

home, Charlie.

- Glenn?

- No.

- Then why?

- Charlie, when we

first started this,

I thought you were a joke.

And then I thought that

you were, well, insane.

And then I thought that you were

probably the bravest person

that I ever met.

- Thank you. I think

you're brave too.

- I'm not finished.

Then I realized that you're not

brave, you're detached.

- I know--

- I'm not finished.

It takes guts, you know?

It takes guts to want something

and to love something--

- Excuse me. Want me to put

those bags in the trunk?

- Yeah. Thank you.

And to go after it.

It takes guts.

I'm finished.

Hey, Charlie.

I love wha

[ Car braking ]

- Wait! Wait!

- Oh my God!

Are you all right?

- Ow!

- Oh my God! Why

did you do that?

- I was trying to be brave.

- Leaping in front

of a car is not brave!

- Don't yell at me, I'm hurt!

- Are you OK, sir?

- I'm fine, really.

- Are you hurt or are you fine?

- I'm a little hurt.

- What were you thinking?

want you to leave.

- Well, what about "stop"?

- I thought we needed

a more dramatic gesture.

- Oh, Charlie...

Oh my God...

- Can I ask you something?

Filmmaker to filmmaker.

- What?

- How did I do?

- Well, it's a start.

You can always fix it in post.

- I did hurt myself a little.

- Where? Where?

This?

- Yeah.

- This is a

mosquito bite, Charlie.

You had this when

we left Africa.

- I'm bruised.

- Where are you bruised?

- Couple of places

I'd really like to show you.

- Where did you

hit the hardest?

- You really want to know?

[ Laughing ]

[ Cheering ]

So, that's my joke.

Now, here's the punchline.

Bill and Ben was nominated

for 7 Golden Globes.

Ian Chadwick was

shamefully overlooked.

- This was a passion

project for the studio.

I've always been personally

fascinated

with Benjamin Disraeli ever

since college.

- Is that your daughter?

- Good heavens, no. I was hoping

to sleep with her tonight.

-Nigel Bland nabbed Best

Supporting Actor.

[ Cheering ]

Linda got nominated

for costumes.

- You want to know about

the movie, watch it.

It's all on the screen.

- It's got everything.

Bodice-ripping, rowing,

sex appeal...

-And my nephew Lionel

was nominated

for his very first script.

[ Cheering ]

- Fiona!

- I'm just so excited to

be here and I love LA.

I love it!

-You know what?

I'm actually proud

of this movie.

The producing team

of Berns and Hearn

just signed Philip

Seymour Hoffman

to play Pfnooty Luvovich...

Would you take our picture?

...the famous Russian

mathematician.

- Who are they?

-We're shopping it around.

- It's not working!

- It's not working?

- The Suez Canal

purchase was fearless

and he had this

great sense of humour

and he delighted in

breaking the rules--

- Interesting.

Fiona, who are you wearing?

- I'm wearing

Maya Solomon tonight.

- I'm wearing

Maya Solomon tonight.O

K, I got it.

Deidre and I had a tough

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