The Heartbreak Kid

# Don't you know you've got

to hang in there #

# and it's rough, I know

'cause I've been there #

# life throws us in #

# you'll soon be safe

and sound #

# and you can rest #

# but till then #

# keep your smile

glued on tight #

# you'll be all right #

# you're going far #

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, pizza!

How did you know?

# You'll be all right #

# you're goin' far #

- Lenny, don't.

- Why?

I don't want you to.

Yes, you do.

Can't you wait ten more days?

Can't you?

But nobody waits anymore.

Nobody does.

I'm waiting.

Our God, and God of our fathers,

bless Leonard Allen Cantrow...

and Lila Ina Kolodny...

as they unite their lives on this day.

Do you promise to love,

to honor and to cherish her...

In good fortune and in adversity?

- If so, answer "I do."

- I do.

And do you, Lila, take Leonard

to be your husband?

- Behold.

- Behold.

- I, Lila, take thee, Leonard,

- I, Lila, take thee, Leonard,

...with this ring...

- With this ring...

- To be my husband.

- To be my husband.

May then, the Lord grant you

his most precious of gifts:

Happiness and peace.

Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

We now declare you, Leonard and Lila,

husband and wife.

Mazel-tov!

Mazel-tov!

If I don't get a chance

to give you this--

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Where are you going on your honeymoon?

- Miami beach.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hello, my daughter.

# Hava nagilah hava nagilah #

# Hava nagilah vaynis m'chah #

Whee!

# Hava n'ranena #

# Hava n'ranena #

# Hava n'ranena vaynis m'chah #

- Miami beach, here we come!

- Beach, here we come!

- We're coming, Miami beach!

- Miami beach, here we come!

Here we come, Miami beach!

# They long to be close to you #

# just like me they long to be

close to you #

# someone's in the kitchen

with Dinah #

# someone's in the kitchen

I know #

# someone's in the kitchen

with Dinah strummin' on the old banjo #

# and singing Fe fi fiddley-I-o #

# Fe fi fiddley-I-o #

# Fe fi fiddley-I-o-o-o #

# Fe fi fiddley-I-o #

# o #

You have a lousy voice.

You're just gonna have to get used

to it for the next 40 or 50 years.

Forty or fifty years?

# Strummin' on the old banjo #

# strummin' on the old banjo

and singing-- #

- Lenny?

- What?

Do you love me?

Yes, I do.

You know it, honey.

Honey, don't do this.

I can't shift if you do that.

Honey, don't, don't.

Don't do this, honey.

It's dangerous. Go ahead,

go back over to the other side.

Grouch.

I just have to be able to shift, honey.

- Lenny?

- Huh?

- Look!

- What are you doing?

- Come on, put that down!

- Nobody can see.

Truck drivers can see!

Guys driving trucks can look down and see!

- What's wrong with it? We're married!

- Come on!

What do you mean, we're married?

You're married to me.

You're not married to the truck drivers.

Wait till Virginia.

We almost got killed.

That car shot in front of us.

Is it all right, Lenny?

Huh? Is it?

Is it what you thought

it would be like?

It's exactly, it's exactly

what I thought it would be like.

Exactly?

Exactly or better?

Better! Much better

than I thought it would be like.

Honey, don't talk now.

We'll talk later.

Are you glad we waited?

Are you, Lenny?

Say it.

I'm glad we waited.

Now we have the rest of our lives.

Forty,

fifty, sixty,

a hundred years.

Hon, don't make little circles

on my chest, okay?

Hmm?

I like to.

I know you like to. I have

an incredibly sensitive chest, though.

I'll make little squares.

No, really, come on.

Nothing, stupid chest.

I'll just blow on it.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

Grouch.

Are you gonna be grouchy

for the next 50 years?

- Where are you going?

- Pee-pee.

Oh, God!

I'm sorry.

That's funny.

I didn't mean it.

- Are you gonna eat a milky way?

- Mm-hmm.

- Gonna have a milky way now?

- Yep.

Okay.

- You want a bite?

- No, thank you. No, no.

- Come on.

- No, really, thank you.

- Come on.

- No, honey, don't do it.

Don't put a milky way in somebody's

mouth when they don't want it.

You'll want it later,

and it'll be in my tummy.

Hamburger and a coke, please.

- Thank you.

- And...

Let me see.

I'll have double egg salad on toast.

And...

- A, um... "Devil" chocolate shake.

- Double chocolate shake, right?

You're quiet this morning.

I'm always quiet in the morning.

I never noticed that before.

There's a lot of things

you didn't notice about me,

and a lot of things

I never noticed about you.

Lenny, look.

You wanna see us in 50 years?

That's gonna be us. Isn't it, Lenny?

Excuse me.

Hi.

Excuse me.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Lenny, you'd tell me if there was something wrong.

- What, hon?

There's nothing wrong!

I'm always quiet in the morning.

You have a little, um--

you have a little--

little egg salad on your face.

Is it off?

Yeah.

- We'll call home tonight, okay?

- Yeah.

- I told mom.

- Sure.

Mmm, oh, man.

This egg salad's great.

You like it?

Mmm!

I'm an egg salad nut.

That's another thing that you're gonna

have to get used to.

You want a bite?

Huh?

Thank you, no. We oughta get goin'

if we're gonna make Georgia.

# Just like me they long to be

close to you #

It's wonderful.

Isn't it wonderful?

Tell me. Tell me

it's wonderful, Lenny.

It's wonderful.

- Say it.

- I just did.

- Say it again. I didn't hear you.

- I just said it!

How many times

you want me to say it?

If you wouldn't keep asking me so much,

you would've heard me say it!

It's goddamn wonderful!

All right?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I said I'm sorry.

- I don't know what's wrong with you.

- Nothing!

You've been acting this way

the whole trip.

I haven't!

I've been a little irritable in Georgia.

I was fine in Virginia and Delaware.

I just wanted to know

how it felt to you.

It felt really terrific. It's just...

I don't understand why I have

to announce it all the time.

You don't have to announce it

all the time. Just tell me.

I have to be reassured.

What's wrong with that?

It's difficult to give out bulletins

in the heat of passion.

You hardly said a word

to me all night.

I'm always quiet at night.

You were never quiet

before we were married.

We never made love

before we were married!

We fooled around a little,

but this is all new.

It's all new to me too.

You're gonna have to give me

about 40 or 50 years.

Why do you keep saying 40 or 50 years?

We're on our honeymoon.

I mean, we're not even out

of Georgia yet.

Look at Mr. grouch!

"Mommy, mommy, help me.

I married a grouch."

You all right?

Mm-hmm.

# I'd #

# like to teach #

# like to buy-- #

# the world to sing

in perfect harmony #

# I'd like to buy the world

a coke #

# and keep it company #

Hi, Miami beach.

Miami beach, hello!

Here we come, Miami beach!

Paging Max Doogan.

Come to the front desk, please.

Thank you very much.

Have a nice day.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

# Someone's in the kitchen

with Dinah #

# someone's in the kitchen

I know #

# someone's in the kitchen with Dinah

strummin' on the old banjo #

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