The Heat Page #7

require treatments.

I hate you.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry.

But I actually wasn't finished.

I was going to say...

Why can't you just be quiet?

What the F?

These are cloth.

They're nice.

I could have shot you!

Oh, I'm sorry, do you not like

someone invading your privacy?

Oh, come on. I glanced at your file.

You broke into my home!

I care about who

I'm working with, too.

And it's a little uncomfortable

that you feel the need

to travel with trophies.

It's not what you think.

They moved me up here,

rented this apartment,

and that is all my stuff.

These four shitty, sad boxes... this is it?

This is your life?

Yes.

Oh, God. I don't think that

could be any sadder if you...

...threw it all

in the trash bag

and started

dragging it behind you.

You use coffee filters for

toilet paper at your house.

I'm buying them anyway.

They have a dual purpose.

That's not what they're for.

Yeah, real fancy-pants.

I see it. I see it in here.

Looks like you were pretty

cool in high school, huh?

Yes. Yes, I was.

But what...

Because you weren't.

You know what that girl's not?

That girl's not cool.

My favorite part is you

only have two signatures...

...both by teachers.

Mrs. Burke said, "Have a good

summer." That's a personal touch.

My real favorite is this one.

"It'll get better."

Yes, fine.

Okay, now we're even.

Okay-

I see you have a cat.

Yep-

Is he around? Because I'd like

to, you know, pet him and stuff.

He... ran away, uh,

when I was in New York.

Oh, God, that

kind of tears me up.

Yeah, it was,

um... it was a loss.

That cat got one look

at your shitty life

and said,

"No f***ing thanks, man...

am outta here!"

I'm still kind of just grieving

a little bit about it.

That f***ing tabby is an

a**hole, that's what he is.

F*** you!

Yeah, "F*** you!" That's what I

say to that cat. Goddamn it.

Such a shitty,

shitty little life.

You can't even keep a cat.

That hurts a little bit.

That's just the grief.

No, not the grief.

It's just the pounding

a little bit.

Oh. All right.

Don't be a dick about it.

Thank you for that.

All right, let's

hit the road, okay?

I've got to change.

What's the matter

with your pantsuit?

It's pajamas.

Well, excuse

the sh*t out of me,

I didn't realize you

slept in a f***ing tux.

Go ahead, get your top hat.

This is the place where

you're supposed to be civilized!

Be a mother

for once in your life.

Oh, great. This a**hole!

Just take it easy.

Hey, Pop.

Hey, pork Chop.

Well, well, well.

Look who it is!

The rat's back in the house. Did you

come back to arrest somebody else?

You know, I saw Ma throw a can of Diet

Coke in the garbage the other day.

She didn't recycle it!

Dad here, he's splicing cable

off the neighbors next door.

Come on now, Mark.

Maybe you should

fingerprint him.

Maybe get yourself

some stripes!

Petey here, how many songs

you download illegally

off the Internet? 5,000?

- Ten, twenty thousand.

- 20,000!

Mikey just stole

a laptop from his work!

Stole? I f***ing worked there for six weeks.

I deserved to take it.

Exactly. No health insurance.

That balances out.

But not you... you'll probably

call in the SWAT team!

Actually, she could, because

those are horrible examples.

Here are the nuggies!

Here we go.

What kind of an animal throws

her own brother in jail?

This kind of animal... right here!

Shut up.

How about keeps him

from killing himself?

I was the only one that

got him off the street.

None of you fucks did!

You should never

arrest your family!

Who the f*** are you?

That's Gina!

Well, tell Gina I'm gonna

strangle her at the table!

She is my best friend! You touch

her, you gotta go through me first.

Who the f*** are you?

I'll kill you, and kill her

with your f***ing dead body!

Everybody calm down.

Shannon's right.

This one has no business

chiming in on a family matter!

"This one?" Why are you talking

about my girlfriend like that?

She wears sweatpants

to your mother's dinner!

Those are her

classy sweatpants.

They don't say

"insert Here" on the ass.

Her ass is hanging out!

Look at her breasts

at the table!

Welcome home.

You here to arrest me?

I hope not.

You selling Bibles?

No, she's Ashburn.

Let's go.

We need to talk.

Sit down.

Uh, that is one

of the better...

...Jesus sports-themed

paintings I've seen.

It's very good. Nice.

What are you doing

at Club Ekko?

What are you, my mother?

How do you know I was there?

I know everything. Are you already

working for those guys again?

No, this guy Julian,

he sent for me

because he wants me

to start working with him.

But I told him no, I'm getting

a straight job, and it's fine.

Everybody's cool now.

We parted amicably.

Are you a knock?

I'm sorry?

Are you a knock?

A "knock"?

I'm sorry, I don't

know what that is.

A knock.

Am I speaking f***ing Japanese?

Yeah, listen to him.

I'll sound it out for you.

Are you...

...or are you not...

...a knock?

A f***ing knock!

Like Johnny Depp

in 21 Jump Street.

Ah, I see! Okay, a narc.

A knock, yes!

What was I saying?

I was missing the R. I heard

"knock", but apparently there's a C.

He said knock!

I said f***ing knock, right?

Why are you wearing a long-sleeved flannel?

It's hot out.

I'm a little fluey.

It's nothing.

You want me to break that thumb?

Please, don't! No!

Mercy. Mercy. Mercy.

Straighten that arm.

It looks worse than it is. It's not a big deal.

This guy Julian...

...wants me to keep working.

They like me.

Tell me where I can

find Julian right now.

No. Just stay out of it.

They're maniacs. They'll chop you

up, or gun you down, or worse.

Jason, tell me

what you f***ing know!

I don't know anything.

Okay. Sal Natale.

Okay?

You know Sal Natale?

Of course I do.

He was gonna steal

this huge shipment

they got coming in,

so they popped him.

He's in the trunk of his Caddy

under the Charles River Bridge.

I want you to stay

in this house.

If I catch you outside, I'll

hurt you worse than them.

What are you?

Why are you here?

I'm a federal agent.

I'm a Special Agent.

Special, like retarded?

We don't use that word.

We say "special needs".

But I have a very high IQ.

Are you a boy or a girl?

That's a fair question.

Uh, I'm... I'm female.

No kidding.

All woman!

From the get-go?

No operation?

Um...

From birth, yes.

How you get that close a shave

on your face?

I need to go, but I'll be back to, um...

Nice knowing you.

Yeah, thank you.

Yep, that's

Sal Natale, all right.

Bullet hole through the head. That's

unusually civilized for them.

Oh, they cut out his tongue, too.

Ah.

There you have it. They

like to send a message.

Did you find the tongue? Sure.

Shoved it up his anal cavity.

That's a weird message.

The tip of the tongue was

sticking out of the rectum.

So it made it appear

as if his buttocks

were giving the police

the raspberry.

Did they draw googly eyes or

anything on his butt cheeks?

No.

Seems like kind of an opportunity missed.

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