The Hessen Conspiracy Page #3

on more than that, Colonel,

or I'm gonna start misbehaving,

right here, right now.

All right.

There's a guy in New York

I used to work with, he's gonna help us.

Name?

Ruben Markel.

Well, Mr. Markel better help all of us.

'Cause in my family we got a saying.

Outta sight is not outta mind.

You gotta take a look at the coroner's report

before you say an ything else, Roy.

Last words?

Bullshit!

Where's this goddamn coroner?

- I ought to kill him or something.

- Paris.

France.

Maybe you heard of it?

Your name on a dying man's lips.

Death bed confession.

Any court in this land

that's as good as gold.

You do not threaten me Sergeant.

With Tarlton on ice,

it was time to figure out

the next part of the puzzle.

To the commanding Officer, Third Army...

Schloss Kronberg.

In as much

as I shortly intend to re-marry...

Listen to this

'In as much as I shortly intend to re-marry,

I should like to return

to my former residence

to retrieve certain items

I was unable to take with me

at the time of my departure.'

Signed:
Sophie Von Hessen.

She wants her jewelry back.

It was addressed to General Staff,

just crossed my desk.

What do we do?

Got lost.

Well, at least

we bought ourselves some time.

Not any more.

- Sir?

- Yeah?

I've done it, sir.

It's pure genius, I'm telling you.

Maybe just a little bit of luck too.

You are never going to guess

who is coming to stay

at our castle in two weeks,

for two nights

on his way back to Washington.

Who?

None other than old Blood

and Guts himself.

Patton? Patton's coming here?

So what?

Don't you get it?

No one's gonna inspect

Patton's goddam luggage.

I piggyback our crates onto his

with a 10-77, splits 'em off,

sends 'em care

of General Delivery to New York.

We are home free.

Let me get this straight:

you wanna send the jewels care

of General Delivery?

Who would have thought of that?

Even if it works, they're there, we're here.

My discharge isn't until next year.

Yeah, but I'm C.O.

I'll have you out of uniform

by the end of December.

Sooner if you play your cards right.

Whatever you say, sir.

We have some packing to do.

There was still time.

I could have called the whole thing off.

- Good work, Lieutenant.

- Thank you, Colonel.

At the end of the day,

nothing had really happened.

It wasn't real.

We could simply hand over the jewels.

But truth to tell, the hook was in too deep.

They say love is blind, but not in my case.

I got her number right from the beginning.

And she got mine.

Maybe that's what did it for me.

She was the woman

I'd longed for all my life,

the one at the other end of the bar

and two rows down the aisle,

the one you can't take your eyes of f.

That white-hot beauty that sneaks

into a million dreams.

The kind men die for.

I never knew it could be like this, Jack.

Truth to tell?

This is different.

I always get the losers. Don't ask me why.

Well, thanks.

No, I mean it.

Even if they have three stars,

they're always bums.

I'm the girl everybody looks at

but nobody sees.

They think they're going to bed

with Rita Hayworth and then

they're disappointed

when they wake up next to me.

Not one of them ever looks at me.

They only see the package.

Colonel Rossman.

Sophie Von Hessen.

Hey!

Where the hell have you been?

I've been looking for you all day.

Wh y, what's wrong?

Patton's had an accident,

that's what's wrong.

You're kidding.

A jeep crash. After all of World War II.

No one knows what the hell

they're gonna do with his luggage.

God, why did you get us

into this predicament?

Stop it.

And then there is Princess Sophie

knocking on the door.

We gotta move fast.

We gotta move fast, we gotta think fast,

- because we are dead.

- Stop it, I tell you.

We are dead. All right? We're gonna...

Don't panic.

Be creative.

- We need to lose the jewels.

- Not an option.

- The treasure's worth more...

- Nothing if we get caught with them.

There is no way we can send

a couple of crates with royal regalia.

We cut 'em out.

We cut the stones out.

There's still no way to send them back.

On the other hand,

nobody's going to think twice

about a lovely WAC bringing some fine furs

she got for cheap in wartime Europe...

Sorry, kid.

This is like desecrating a grave.

Your sister has had a heart attack.

Sorry.

You're flying home urgently.

Carry a special permit.

The next flight out of here...

What if they check?

They got better things to do,

believe me.

It all fits, honey.

Once you're out of the army,

they can't touch you.

- I can't do this.

- Yes, you can.

- Not without you.

- You don't have to.

Listen I'm going discharge

within two weeks

and I'm going to meet you

in New York City.

Pallard will stay on till spring.

Listen, it's all under control.

No one'll even look at you.

Hey, now...

We're so good, you and me.

Truth to tell.

Truth to tell, baby.

Lieutenant?

Now go.

Go.

Hope we don't hate ourselves

in the morning.

We're putting an awful lot of eggs

in one basket.

You don't trust the basket?

Do you?

I love her.

No, really.

Well, that and a dime.

Besides,

she can't fence the stuff without me.

Oh, baby.

Did you miss me?

Hiya.

Your Highness.

Please, sit.

Well, what can I do for you?

Jesus, Jack,

Last time I saw you,

you were running to catch the bus.

Now, look at you.

A goddam General

with Ava Gardner on your arm.

So, you got something to sell, huh, Jack?

It must be pretty nifty

calling me all the way from Europe.

You're not going to tell me

that thing's real?

Holy sh*t!

There's more.

More?

How much more?

Call it a King's ransom.

A King's ransom, huh?

Which King is that, Jack?

You know better than to

ask me that question, Reuben.

So, how much you looking to clear?

Two million.

Two million?

Reuben, do me a favour,

keep your voice down, will you?

Jesus Christ.

It's only a fraction of what they're worth.

Truly. Only a fraction.

It's this business at Castle Kronberg.

What business?

The princess left a lot of jewellery

behind when she fled.

Now she wants it back.

What princess?

It's here.

Sir, there's something you ought to know

about her brother.

He's about to marry

the future queen of England.

What?

You handle this, Colonel. ASAP.

I know a guy. Tommy Maloney.

Sounds like a paper boy.

A real operator, this guy?

He works for someone.

This someone, is the only character I know

who can handle something this big.

Alright, so who's the someone?

Oh, you know better than

to ask me that, Jack.

Let's just say the man

likes the gentlemen's sport of boxing.

That doesn't matter,

because you never meet him.

Never.

Okay. Never.

Are you sure this is where you left it?

Of course.

What's my cut?

Five per cent.

Oh, that's very generous.

Make it ten.

You know, for old time's sake.

Alright, ten.

Oh, boychick,

I always knew you'd bring me luck.

Was he ever out of his mind.

Oh, son of a b*tch.

Jesus, God!

Who knew we were here?

No one.

Oh, come on!

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