The Holiday Page #7

You too, Soph.

She has more marshmallows

than me.

No, she doesn't.

You each have five.

- You have five too.

- Thank you.

One, two, three, four, five.

What? Do I have something

on my lip?

Just look! There.

- Oh, hello.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Going up! Blow on mine.

Thank you.

Excellent timing.

Dad, do Mr. Napkin Head.

- No. No, no, no. No Mr. Napkin Head.

- Please? Do it!

- Do it. Do it. Please.

- Do it, please. Beg you, please?

Please? Okay, I'll do it quickly.

- Oh, well, thank you for that.

- You're welcome. Now do it.

All right.

Amanda, can I borrow

your napkin, please?

Yes.

Your glasses.

Pass me those when I need them.

Amanda, you're gonna love this.

It's so funny. I mean, you'll fall

off your chair, it's so funny.

Hello.

Hello, my name is Mr. Napkin Head.

- Hello, children.

- Who's this? She's a stranger?

- Amanda.

- And why has she got a funny accent?

- Amanda.

- Yeah, but where is she from?

Now smoke!

Go on.

Smoking's really bad for you.

Amanda, guess what.

We have a tent in our playroom.

Do you want to see it?

No, no, no. Amanda...

...will not crawl into your tent.

You don't like tents?

Okay, this is seriously cool.

Come inside.

- Lie down.

- Okay.

Here, Amanda.

You can use my pillow.

- Thank you.

- Lie down!

Can you please

stop being so bossy?

- Lie down, please, next to me.

- Okay.

Very nice.

Excuse me.

This is an exceptionally great tent.

It's got something, hasn't it?

- It's cozy.

- Yeah.

Who cut out

all these beautiful stars?

- We did.

- The Three Musketeers!

Amanda?

- Yes?

- You smell lovely.

Do I?

Yes. I love perfume,

but he won't let me wear it.

Because you already smell so good.

- So do you, by the way.

- Thanks.

- But I'm older, so I guess I'm allowed.

- Exactly.

I like your eye shadow.

Thank you.

- And your lipstick.

- Thank you.

- It's new.

- What's it called?

I think it's called Berry Kiss.

Very Berry Kiss it is.

Berry Kiss.

Let's see? It looks good on you.

Amanda?

You know, if you wanted to sleep over,

that would be all right.

We could push our beds together.

Sorry.

That's so sweet of you

to invite me...

...but maybe another time.

Would that be all right?

Yes.

Good girl.

We never have grownups here

that are girls.

I know.

I really like it.

Me too.

I can't imagine anyone being

a bigger hit with my children.

They're really great, Graham.

Sophie's unfortunately taken

on the role as my protector.

She's brilliant, but I hate it

when she worries about me.

And Olivia's...

...gonna be a real ball-buster.

Which, I must admit,

I kind of love about her.

I'm trying to figure out

why you didn't tell me about them.

Because I just don't usually

tell women about them.

But it's just a little confusing...

...because you're the one

who wanted to go out to lunch...

...to get to know one another.

When you put it that way,

it sounds awful.

I have no defense. Except that until

I get to know someone really well...

...it's easier for me to

be a normal, single guy.

Because it's way too complicated

to be who I really am.

I'm a full-time dad.

I'm a working parent.

I'm a mother and a father.

I'm a guy who reads parenting books

and cookbooks before I go to sleep.

I spend my weekends buying tutus.

I'm learning to sew.

I'm Mr. Napkin Head!

I'm on some kind of

constant overload and it helps...

...to compartmentalize my life.

Just till I figure this out.

This past weekend, the children

were with their grandparents.

And when they're gone,

I get to be somebody...

...who doesn't have hot chocolate

spilled on his jeans.

I have no idea how to date

and be this.

And I suppose there's...

...the possibility I'm afraid

of what another person...

...might do to who we are...

...and how we get from

one day to the next.

Yeah.

I guess since I am

leaving in a week, I...

I sort of get you not telling me.

- Sort of.

- I thought it would be hard...

...to introduce them to someone

I may never see again.

Right.

Because I'm just someone you had

sex with once and slept with twice.

I thought I was just someone you had

sex with once and slept with twice.

Oh, man.

I think we just went

way past complicated.

Right. I'm a book editor

from London. You're a...

...beautiful...

...movie trailer-maker from L.A.

We're worlds apart.

I have a cow in the back yard.

- You have a cow?

- Yeah.

I sew and I have a cow.

How's that for hard to relate to?

Pretty up there.

Exactly.

- Morning, Jesus.

- Good morning.

- Santa Anas?

- Oh, yeah, long time now.

- Hi, Marta.

- Hi, Iris.

Hi there.

Hello!

Good morning.

I counted.

Nine movies are opening today.

I remember when nine movies

would open in a month.

Now a picture has to make a killing

the first weekend or they're dead.

This is supposed to be conducive

to great work?

Arthur, have you always

been this feisty?

Well, I may have slowed down

a little, but yes.

You've gotta fight the fight, kid.

Okay, your mail.

Gas company, phone bill.

And a letter from the

Writers Guild of America, West.

Are you watching the movies

I recommended?

Yes! Love them.

Irene Dunne is fantastic.

- Gumption.

- Oh, my God, tons of it.

Arthur, don't you want to open that

letter you just threw in the bin?

No. They keep writing me

about the same thing.

But it might be important.

It's not. They want to arrange

some kind of tribute to me.

A night with me.

I don't know. It sounds God-awful.

What are you talking about?

That sounds brilliant!

Would you like to walk out on a stage,

on a walker, looking 100 years old...

...and see 11 schnooks

who showed up just to see you?

They can forget it.

I ain't falling for this.

So now, what's up?

May I?

"An Evening With Arthur Abbott."

"Dear Mr. Abbott... several

attempts to contact you regarding..."

"We have not yet received

your response.

This special night

will be a tribute to your...

...lifetime screenwriting achievement

and contribution to the profession.

Congratulations on this

much-deserved honor."

Arthur, this is a big deal.

You know, and they want

to do this soon.

Listen, I reckon

that with a little bit of exercise...

...you could walk out on your own.

And, you know,

maybe I could go with you.

As, like, your date or something.

I would take you proudly,

my darling, but I'm not going.

Anyway, how would you propose

to get me in shape? Seriously.

Easy.

You're doing really well.

Nearly there. Nearly there.

Nearly there.

Bravo! Here we go,

back the other way.

- You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I just slipped.

- Hello?

- So are you ever coming home?

- Oh, my God. Hi.

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