The Honeymoon Killers Page #5

and she picked my name

out of the list.

She told him to write me.

No, dear, his sister.

Oh, no.

They don't live in Albany.

Oh, wait a minute.

Valley Stream,

Long Island.

That's a suburb

of New York City.

He even sent me

a picture of the house.

Yes, well, remember, Lucy...

not a word about all this

to Albert and Sarah.

I promised I'd forget

the Friendship Club...

but there's no harm

in writing to somebody...

who's so gentle and...

and refined...

and whose sister's a nurse.

Yes, don't they

sound wonderful?

Well, of course

I'm going to answer.

This is his first letter

through the club... and to me.

He's so cute.

He calls it his debut letter.

All right.

What's your advice?

Oh, you're right.

I was gonna answer

right away.

You don't think

a week's too long?

I wouldn't want

to hurt his feelings...

not for the world.

- The answer from Fay?

- No. Just bills.

Her name has been on that list

for as long as I can remember.

You'd think the old fool would jump

when she finally got a nibble.

You should've let me

write the letter by myself.

Maybe it wasn't

convincing enough.

We haven't paid December

for my mother. They're getting nasty.

Oh, God.

How we could use her 10,000.

She's out of town.

She'll answer.

Eh, maybe.

I'd better get back in touch

with the Downing woman.

No. I'm not going

to Michigan.

- Besides, she's too young.

- What do you mean too young?

- You know what I mean.

- Don't eat candy at 10:00 in the morning.

It's because

you're making me nervous!

You're nervous?

How do you think I feel...

sitting around here

day after day?

Now I've even taken to reading

these stupid magazines of yours!

I thought this is

what you wanted.

What I wanted?

You wanted this house.

You almost

drowned yourself to get it.

I suppose the next thing you'll do

is cut your wrists...

so I'll go out

and get a job.

- Stop it! - Or turn on the gas,

like the first time.

Stop it!

Maybe you want me dead!

Dead? I'm dead!

Finished!

They call this place Valley Stream.

What a joke.

One little jail

after another...

with 10 feet of grass

between them.

Valley Stream.

I hate it here.

We could go

someplace else.

Where could we go?

We can't even afford to pay

for this rotten little house.

I could go back

to nursing.

How are we

gonna live on that?

Besides, no woman's

going to support me.

No! I have to go

back to work...

and I can't invest everything

in one old lady you choose for me.

Besides,

I detest old ladies.

I'm going to write

to Delphine Downing today.

Look, I told you.

When we get enough money,

we can get married...

and go someplace

far away from here and settle down.

Someplace nice.

Not Valley Stream.

When?

If you do as I say,

it could be soon.

Maybe Fay

will answer.

Yeah, maybe.

But if not,

we go to Michigan.

If you love me,

you'll do it.

I want to meet her alone

this afternoon.

I don't want to bring you into the picture

until I see how I'm going to work it.

- You understand?

- Yes.

I'll tell her that you're tired

from the trip and that you are resting.

You think of the 10,000

while I'm gone.

That'll help pass the time

more quickly.

And then tonight, we'll celebrate

the New Year. Just the two of us.

We'll go someplace nice,

okay?

- What are you doing in there?

- You'll see.

Here I come.

All set.

- How do I look?

- Mm, a little too old for me...

but good enough

to eat.

You know, I think

I will rest. I'm tired.

Wish me luck

and think of that 10,000.

What happened?

First I gotta pee.

I'm dying.

What were you

holding it in for?

Where do you

find a bathroom in a church?

What were you doing in a church?

We went to pray together, and we lit a candle

for the dear departed Mr. Fay...

whose loving spirit

brought us together.

She sounds senile.

She's getting near

that age.

She is at least

10 years older than she said...

sixty-five if she's a day.

- She didn't think you were too young for her?

- Not at all.

I remind her of the late and lamented

Mr. Fay when they were married.

She doesn't seem to realize

how long ago that must have been.

She says we have so much

in common...

that our "little difference of age"

doesn't matter.

You should have

seen her face when I said...

I was also a Catholic.

- You know who she reminds me of?

- Who?

- Your mother!

- My mother's not Catholic!

Well, you'd better be tomorrow

when you meet Janet.

- Tomorrow?

- Yes, we're spending the day with her...

to celebrate the New Year.

What about the 10,000?

She's got it. She can't stop talking

about it. She tells me everything.

It's in cash

and in three banks.

And don't you worry, I'll get it

from the silly old b*tch.

- Gotta work fast though.

- Very good!

Who we've gotta watch out for

is the daughter and her husband.

Yes.

And now, what would you

like to do most...

for the last time

in the old year?

- Guess.

- I'm not too old for you? A man of 45?

No. You're not.

Fifty nurses under your supervision!

Martha, I don't know how you do it.

Isn't she wonderful, Lucy?

So much responsibility and so young.

I should say so!

I don't know how the hospital...

can do without you

for a whole month, Mrs. Beck.

Well, I just had to come up and spend

some time with my successful brother.

When he wrote me about that new house

he was buying, I said to myself...

"I've got to go up there

and talk him out of the idea."

At least if he was married...

He's my older brother,

but he can be impractical.

I guess that's because of your

European upbringing, Charles.

Yes, Janet. My sister was fortunate

being brought up in America...

although the separation

was terrible for us.

Well, I'm glad.

You're so... debonair.

- So, sort of cute

with your little accent!

And even though you

speak differently...

I'd know you were

brother and sister anywhere.

- Wouldn't you, Janet?

- Oh, yes, they're like two peas in a pod.

I'm having such a good time

with these people.

I hate to go. But I know

the three of you have lots to do.

Can I tell her, Charles?

Go ahead.

Lucy, Charles and I

are going to be married.

Janet, that's wonderful!

I can't believe it!

You're the first to know.

Except for Martha, of course.

It's like a dream. I can't believe it.

After all these years.

Well, it's not a dream,

and you're right...

the three of us

have a lot to discuss.

So I'd better run along. Of course,

I'll phone you later this evening.

I won't be here. Tonight I'm taking

Charles and Martha to dinner.

- Oh, how nice!

- Call me early tomorrow morning before Mass.

Good-bye, you two.

It's been a treat meeting you.

Congratulations.

And happy New Year.

Well, how did you like

the hat she had on? I made it.

I know, dear.

You wrote me all about them.

Would you like to see a new one

I just made for myself?

- Oh, I'd love to, Janet.

- Yes, indeed.

All right.

I'll model it for you.

Oh!

Oh, it's beautiful, Janet!

And I made it myself.

Don't you think it's cute?

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