The Honeymoon Killers Page #6

I do think it's adorable.

Janet, with a talent like that,

you are missing a golden opportunity.

Of course. If you had

a little shop in New York.

It would have to be

in an inexpensive neighborhood.

Where the rent would be reasonable,

like, uh, Valley Stream.

Oh, Janet, what a business you

could have for yourself.

- A business? - Why, she'd just

rake in the money, wouldn't she?

She would indeed. Of course, she would need

some capital to get started.

Mm. How much money do you think

she'd need, Charles?

Oh, I'd say about,

uh, $10,000.

Janet, if you decide to do this,

don't worry about money.

I have a little

savings at home.

What better use could I put it to

than to help you get started.

Oh, Martha, how sweet.

How sweet you are, dear.

But I don't need it.

She doesn't know I have the money,

does she, Charles?

How wonderful, Janet.

Now, you two, just help yourselves

to whatever your hearts desire.

It's my treat.

My! A dollar eighty-five

for a veal cutlet.

I think I'll have a pork chop.

It's a better buy.

Pork chop, please.

But have whatever

you want, Charles.

Don't let me influence you.

You too, Martha.

I'll have

the pork chop also, please.

And don't skimp on his potatoes

like you did on mine.

What will you have,

Martha dear?

I'll have the veal cutlet.

I don't care for pork chops.

Veal cutlet for her.

And go easy on the gravy.

It looks starchy. Full of flour.

I know this place.

I eat here all the time.

No!

No, that's

not the dessert.

They're over this way.

Come along.

I wish I had known you were

going to sweep me off my feet...

and take me

to New York with you.

- Why, dear? - Oh, because I never

would have paid the hotel for January.

Here it is only the first.

I'll be checking out on Monday.

I think I'll get me

another cup of coffee.

Oh, here, dear,

let me give you the dime.

Forget it, Janet.

I might want something else.

That girl eats too much.

Well, she always

had a healthy appetite.

We could've left

first thing tomorrow...

- but you want to go to Mass.

- Oh, yes.

And then you do want to take your money

out of the banks first thing Monday morning.

You might need some

for a deposit at the hat shop.

And as I told you,

you get a much better interest rate...

at my bank

in Valley Stream.

Yes, of course.

And then we leave

immediately for your new home.

Well, I'm afraid

we're not going to make it...

to Valley Stream

before the banks close.

You see. We shouldn't have stopped

all that time for that big lunch.

Wasn't necessary.

Not at all.

I told you, Janet. I get nauseous

riding on an empty stomach.

- Did you want me to throw up?

- Oh, dear.

Besides, you took

an awfully long time at the bank.

It would've been quicker if you had

taken the money out in cash.

And ride around with $10,000?

That's cute.

Really, Martha, you don't

have as much common sense as I thought.

I want my two best girls

to stop arguing this very minute.

I think I'll look at

my beautiful pictures for a while.

You're sure there's

a nice place for them?

Oh, yes of course.

We'll hang them up this evening.

Good. That's the only thing

in Albany I'll miss.

My lovely church. Everything I have

goes to them, you know.

There's a nice Catholic church in

Valley Stream too. I'm sure you'll like it.

I know I will.

But I'll miss St. Agnes.

And of course I'll miss

Albert and Sarah too.

Do you really think it was right leaving

like this without telling them a word?

Sure. Think of the exciting surprise it

will be tomorrow when you call them...

and tell them, "I am now

Mrs. Charles Martin."

"Mrs. Charles Martin."

Martin's Hat Shop.

Isn't that cute?

There they are, safe and sound

in your new home.

That was

a delicious supper, Martha.

Are you sure I can't help you

now that we have the pictures up?

No, dear. You and Charles

have business to attend to.

Go ahead and use the table if

you like. I'll clean up in the kitchen.

That's a good idea.

Janet, why don't you get your purse?

We can go over

everything together right now.

All right.

Fine. I suggest you deposit it

in one lump sum in my bank.

But you better keep

a thousand in cash...

in case we find

a nice store for you.

They might not

take a check.

Even with your references?

- I don't know everyone in Valley Stream, darling.

- All right.

But the jewelry goes

in a safe-deposit box.

Not until after the wedding.

I want my bride to look

her very loveliest.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Now what are you writing

on those sheets of paper?

I have a marvelous idea.

- "Surprise"? - Just sign your name

at the bottom of the page.

And then what happens?

And then I take them

out tonight and I mail them.

One to your daughter Sarah,

one to Lucy...

and one to Father Nicholas

at St. Agnes.

They get them tomorrow morning.

"What's this from Janet?"

They say.

"'Surprise'?

What does that mean?"

Then they ring each other up

on the telephone.

"'Surprise'?

What's the surprise?"

And then first thing

tomorrow morning...

we print up

some wedding announcements.

Mr. And Mrs. Charles Martin take pleasure

in announcing their marriage...

January 3rd in Valley Stream,

Long Island.

Mrs. Martin is the former

Janet Fay of Albany, New York.

After a wedding trip

to Miami, Florida...

they will make their home

in Valley Stream, Long Island, New York.

A wedding trip...

to Miami, Florida?

I might as well

tell you now.

That was

my surprise for you.

Oh. Oh, Charles!

How wonderful!

"Surprise".

What a cute idea!

While you have

your fountain pen in hand...

- why don't you endorse the checks?

- Endorse them tonight?

I have to be out of the house

very early in the morning...

to get the wedding announcements

printed in time.

I could stop at the bank first thing

and put them in for you.

Oh, Charles,

you better hide them.

Oh, yes. I have

a nice secret place in the cellar.

I'll take them down there

this very minute.

And now, why don't you address

the envelopes for the surprise letters...

so I can mail them

when I come back up?

We need another surprise letter

for my nephew in Utica.

Fine. Do a few more.

We can always use

an extra one or two.

Martha, you'd better

come down the cellar with me.

You can help me

hide Janet's checks.

Don't you

want me to help, dear?

No, darling. It's very dark down there.

You might hurt yourself on the stairs.

You finish addressing

your letters while we do it.

All right.

If I didn't see it,

I wouldn't believe it.

What do you mean,

you wouldn't believe it? You saw.

That is what you get for being kind

to a woman and giving her affection.

I bolted the door

from the inside.

Charles, what's the matter?

I can't open the door.

Are you

all right down there?

One minute, Janet.

I'll be right up.

I'll be right back.

The catch slipped.

We're locked in down here.

Oh, dear God. Can't I

open it from this side?

Oh, Janet,

it won't open.

My goodness!

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