The Honeymoon Machine Page #2

Because you're

my friend, that's why.

And because you got

$300, that's why.

I figured it wasn't

all sentiment.

Jas, how's the power supply?

110 volts in, 24 out.

Right on the nose.

All set up? Anytime.

All yours, Mr. Gilliam.

You may fire when ready.

I'm ready.

We've got him!

Of course, we've got him.

"Code, 7" what is it?

Computer clear.

Max awaiting your data.

Tell him to stand by

for further orders.

That's a good man

you got out there, jas.

Now all you have to do is

scoot over to the casino.

Watch the wheel.

When you got enough dope,

phone me here.

I'll shoot

the numbers out to Max.

Beau will join you as soon

as he gets into his civvies.

My civvies?

You brought them, didn't you?

Yeah, but I won't

wear them, Fergie.

I beg your pardon?

Well, you saw the duty

board this morning.

We were specifically

ordered to wear whites.

Any officer caught ashore

in his civvies

is going

to have his tail in a sling.

And it was signed by

admiral Fitch himself.

Old foghorn.

Fergie, we agreed not to break

any regulations

we didn't have to.

But we have to.

We can't into the casino

in Navy uniform.

It's off limits.

Off limits and in civvies, too.

I'll be breaking

two regulations at once.

That's right.

It's kind of a package deal.

Now get in there and

get out of those whites

and that's an order,

lieutenant junior grade Gilliam.

You sure love

trouble, don't you?

Whenever there's a risk

involved,

you light up like

a beacon, you glow all over.

Some people function

better when things get hot.

That was fine in Korea;

That's what got

you all those medals.

Only what's it going

to get you in peacetime?

Money.

You know, there was once a great

philosopher named Nietzsche

who said, "live dangerously."

It's the only time

you live at all."

But it's my life you're

living dangerously.

Fergie, do I have to?

Yep.

What's that smell?

My civvies.

I don't mean your civvies;

I mean, what's that smell?

That's my civvies, too.

Bobby Jo packed them

for me back home.

She's partial to the moth balls.

No, she's not partial to

it... she's in love with it.

Well, maybe I shouldn't wear it?

You know, a smell like

this in that casino.

They'll love you in the casino.

There won't be a moth

around for 40 miles.

Jas, how long before we get

those sample numbers?

520 spins of the wheel.

Say, 50 seconds a spin...

7 hours, 13 minutes

and 12 seconds.

Are you going to stand

at that table for 7 hours.

Suppose he has to go

to the men's room?

Don't be silly.

He's a scientist.

Anyway, you're going

to be there to take over.

Well, there's one thing

I got to do first.

I promised Bobby Jo

if I ever got to venice,

I'll buy her some

venetian glass.

Well, wait until

we get to Japan.

The best venetian glass

comes from Yokohama.

Now look, Fergie,

this is for my wife.

And when a man

promises his wife...

What's the use?

I know his views about marriage.

He thinks it's for the birds.

Now how could

I possibly think that?

You ever know any birds that

were honest-to-goodness married?

I mean, they shack up

a little now and then but...

I'm sorry.

I must have the wrong room.

Are you sure?

Well, we're in

the suite just below

and I must have stepped

off on the wrong floor.

Not as far as I'm concerned.

Hi-Dee.

My name's Fergie Howard.

How do you do?

Come in.

- Sit down.

- No.

No thanks.

Are you Navy men?

Are you referring to the united

states Navy, ma'am?

Well, there's just something

about the way

you look and stand.

I thought may be one of us.

One of whom?

You mean, you're in the Navy?

Call me Navy brat,

courtesy of my father.

It always sounds so dopey to say

your father's an admiral.

An admiral?

An admiral?

An admiral.

Admiral Fitch.

So you're admiral

Fitch's daughter.

How did you know that?

You should couldn't be his son.

And after all, he's

the only admiral in venice.

You mean that the admiral

is actually staying here.

At this hotel?

Is there anything

wrong with this hotel?

Well, I think we're lucky.

Imagine, sharing the same roof

with the great admiral Fitch.

That certainly proves

you're not Navy.

In the fleet they call

him "old foghorn."

Not to his face, of course.

How disloyal.

"Old foghorn," imagine.

A man who had been on

the cover of time.

I don't know what

the world's coming to.

The world's in a bad

shape, all right.

And it's getting

worse every second.

Well, to me it's looking

very, very pretty.

Miss Fitch, I'd like you

to meet our chaperones.

This is Jason eldridge,

my very good friend.

And this... Schillkraut, ma'am.

Beauregard schillkraut.

And I'm very

pleased to meet you.

Won't that glass shop of yours

be closing pretty

soon, schillkraut?

Yeah.

Well, good-bye.

So long, jas.

Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me.

Look, you give me a ring as soon

as you get that information.

Are you out of your head?

The admiral's daughter?

Yes, sounds like a great idea.

Great idea, my foot.

You'll land all of us...

Fergie, you're glowing again.

Don't worry about a thing.

Well, here we are.

That's the quickest scuttling

of chaperones I've ever seen.

You're not listening.

I said, "here we are."

Well then, what are

we waiting for?

Close the drapes,

bring out the liquor

and let's get

this show on the road.

Action, that's what I like.

None of that beating

around the bush.

Take it easy.

Look, miss Fitch.

- Call me Julie.

- All right, Julie.

It had to happen,

it had to happen.

Not necessarily.

All I meant... I'm

putty in your hands.

What are you, some kind

of a sex fiend?

Just teaching you

a little lesson.

Don't make jokes with

admiral's daughters.

We cut our teeth

on sea wolves...

Than which nothing is wolfier.

Do you give out many

of these lessons?

As many as I have to.

But I've got to admit, you

scare off pretty easily.

I think I feel

my courage oozing back.

Want to try again?

School's out for the day.

How long you going

to be in venice?

Why?

I want to see you.

What for?

Another lesson?

No more lessons.

I just want to talk to you.

I want to be near you.

I felt something the minute

you walked in the door.

Is this pitch for real?

But I'm staying in venice

just as long as my father does.

How about you?

I'll stay as long as you do.

Come on.

No, I mean it.

You stay as long as your father,

I stay as long as your father.

Time means nothing to me.

Are you loaded?

Are you some kind of

a deported gangster?

I'll tell you all about

myself at dinner tonight.

Harry's bar, 7:
00 date?

Mr. Howard, we've barely met,

but you have convinced

me of one thing.

What?

You're crazy.

Julie, please have

dinner with me.

Well, what do I have to

do to buy you a steak?

Enlist in the Navy?

Wear one of those

chokey collars?

Would that open

the door or anything?

I had my fill of brass buttons

by the time I was 18.

And at 19, I swore an oath

the hand that salutes my

father will never hold mine.

Never?

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