The Honeymoon Machine Page #5

The crazy thing works!

Jason, what's going on?

A system.

There's no such thing.

I know it.

Pam, will you marry me?

27, 13, and 6.

What did you say?

27, 13, and 6.

Before that!

12, 18, and 9.

I mean, about marrying me!

You did ask me to marry you,

didn't you?

No, but I'll talk to my wife.

Excuse me.

Listen to me.

You did ask me to marry you,

didn't you?

Didn't you?

Yes!

Yup.

Well, you certainly have your

nerve, old eldridge!

You disappear out of my life,

I don't even hear from you

for 3 years,

and then, all of a sudden...

Don't you understand?

I never had any money before.

But now... 27 in the red.

The gentleman wins again.

Now I've got it!

Or I will have.

Enough to buy up every

braunschweiger

your father ever stuffed.

Ladies and gentlemen,

place your bets.

Jason, this is ridiculous!

It certainly is! 11, 36, 30.

I'm not talking about bets,

I'm talking about

your marrying me.

Don't you realize I'm engaged?

I came to venice

to marry Tommy Dane!

Now, if you want to talk about

something really ridiculous,

you're on the right track.

You don't love Tommy Dane.

You don't even like Tommy Dane.

I suppose I love you.

Well, don't you?

Yes, heaven help me.

Then, why argue?

Jason!

Number 11 in the red.

Pay that gentleman again.

I've broken code

in Russian, sir,

and I've broken it

in hindustani,

but I can't break this.

Why not?

Because it didn't code, sir.

Well, then, what does it mean?

That, sir, I couldn't say.

Ammiraglio...

The venice press,

they got wind of something.

So has the a.P.

Shall I give them a story, sir?

No, no.

Nothing to the newspapers!

Not a word!

If I may speak for

the state department,

I agree completely

with old foghorn.

To alarm the city before old

foghorn

knows exactly what's going on

could cause a panic.

I'm in favor of leaving

everything

in old foghorn's hands.

What do you say, sir?

I say, if you call me

old foghorn once more,

I'll belt you one!

Sir?

There's word from one of our

picket boats, sir.

They report spotting

blinker signals

from shore, early this evening.

What signals?

What did they say?

Just a series of numbers, sir,

from zero to 36.

From zero to... What

do you make of that?

Sounds like the numbers

on a roulette wheel.

Damn it!

This is no time for jokes!

Did they say where on shore

the blinker was?

No, sir.

Well, if they flash again,

tell them to pinpoint it!

Yes, sir.

Picket 6, this is 1.

Repeat try to pinpoint.

Don't... Don't tell

me it doesn't answer.

It's a phone booth

in the casino.

There's got to be somebody th...

Did it work?

Come on, man.

Don't keep me in suspense.

She knows.

I had to tell her.

- Did it work?

- You told her?

An admiral's daughter...

It's all right,

she's on our side.

Just call me Benedict Arnold.

Did it work?

Sort of.

Sort of!

Ohhhhhh... How much is here?

11 million lira.

Roughly, $18,000.

Beautiful!

What did you quit for?

I had to.

Something went wrong, and I lost

the last 3 bets.

You lost?

How could you lose?

I'm not sure.

Some variable in the game...

A different ball, maybe.

Anyhow, I've got

more data to flash Max.

As soon as we get the answers,

we'll be back in the ball game.

Come in!

No!

It's ok, it's only Pam.

She knows, too.

She knows?

You even told a stranger?

She's not a stranger.

I ran into her at the casino.

We're engaged.

Engaged?

All right, now listen,

little girl.

Just because a fellow makes

a small killing in roulette

doesn't mean you have to

stick your claws into him.

Fergie!

How much you take to blow town?

Will you stop?

We've known each other

for years.

Besides, she's got

$60 million of her own.

What system do you use?

The capitalistic system.

Pam dunston, this is my friend,

crazy Fergie Howard.

How do you do, crazy Fergie?

How are you?

The data!

Stay with me.

We've got work to do.

I'll flash this out to Max.

Where's Beau?

He went to buy some more glass.

At a time like this?

That's desertion!

11 million lira?

How do you do?

I'm crazy Julie Fitch.

Congratulations, and welcome

to the asylum.

Thanks.

I'm so sorry.

That does it.

- How long for an answer?

- Any second.

It's just a few simple

coordinates.

Come on, Max. Give!

Hold it!

Now, what is it?

More flashing from shore, sir,

just a moment ago.

Did they get a bearing on it?

Yes, sir.

The blinker is right here in

the hotel, sir.

Operation 4 immediately!

What was the message?

Picket 6, this is 1.

Did you intercept the message?

Over.

Just numbers... Well,

well, what was it?

Just more numbers, sir.

From zero to 36.

Keep quiet!

Any answer from the ship?

Yes, sir.

Here it comes now, sir.

Here we go, jas.

Reverse... All... Directions...

West...

To... East... Right...

After... 12...

Drop... will... be... Repeated.

That's all, sir.

Right after 12,

drop will be repeated...

Right after 12?

What time is it now?

11:
30 more, sir!

More coming.

Well, maybe this

will clear it up.

The... Square... Root...

Of... 2...

Minus... Pi... Times... R.

Square root of 2,

minus pi, times r...

Well, if I didn't know better,

I'd say we were being attacked

from outer space.

And I don't know better!

The square root of 2,

pi times r...

You call that a number?

- Certainly it's a number.

- Yeah?

Well, try playing

it on a roulette wheel.

Max has gone out of his mind.

He's sick!

You must've sent one

number twice.

You fouled up the coordinates.

I fouled up nothing!

It's Max.

He knows he's gambling.

He knows, and he's against it.

Don't be ridiculous!

Well, then, he's made a mistake.

Max can't make a mistake!

Why not?

He's only human.

Fergie, will you please...

Gentlemen, are you depositing

or withdrawing?

It's going to be

all right, Fergie.

You just convert pi and the

segments of a circle

into the square root...

Now I understand.

Look, leave it to me.

It'll work.

Maybe you'd like to make

a small personal loan?

Hello, Pam.

Hello, Julie.

They remember us.

Isn't that sweet?

Positively poignant.

Look, I'm sorry, honey,

but you know

what this means to us...

You and me.

Julie... You've been

very patient with me,

and I love you for it.

Tell you what...

Take you out on

the town tonight, ok?

Where?

Roulette table, where else?

Be with you in a minute.

Beau?

He wouldn't ring.

Who is it?

United States Navy!

The Navy!

Fergie, your cap!

The blinker!...Money!

Signalman burford Taylor

first class,

United States Navy,

official business!

We have a report that certain

guys is using a blinker light

from somewheres in the vicinity

of this here hotel

for the possible

purposes of espionage.

We have been ordered...

We don't know

anything about that!

Just a minute!

I ain't finished yet!

We've been ordered to check

the entire premises

of this here hotel.

I will now check this here suite

unless you have any objections,

which would be

pretty suspicious.

Of course I have no objections.

Very well.

With your permission, I will

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