The Honeymoon Machine Page #9

in the United States Navy.

Certainly you remember, Jason?

I have a wonderful memory.

Admiral, I don't

have to lecture you

on the importance

of Navy relief.

And I know you

don't want to stand in the way.

So I think we should

adjourn this meeting.

And go take care of our boys,

in the service.

Sir, if you turn your back on

this Navy windfall,

I refuse to be responsible for

your future.

Out!

Everybody out!

Except you!

What are you waiting for?

Get out! Get out!

Outside!

Lieutenant, in my long career

in the Navy,

I have never struck a man.

But the time is now ripe.

Take off your coat!

Sir, listen, think about

the difference of our ages.

Never mind the excuses.

Put up your hands!

Sir, listen, you can't do this.

No, let's see.

Admiral, I got to speak to you.

Later, later.

Sir, it's top urgent.

The Soviet consul likes to know

what's happening in here.

The whole deal.

They just called

a press conference.

So?

They say, sir, that

the United States Navy

has conspired through

an electronic formula

to break the bank

of this casino.

And the Republic

of Italy along with it.

No, that's ridiculous.

The exact words are,

in propaganda language,

"looting the resources

of a friendly power

in violation of

sacred covenants."

Sir, they could blow

this up like a balloon.

I hope you're

a happy man, lieutenant.

You have now succeeded

in fomenting

an international crisis.

Single-handed.

Sir, there's a very simple

solution to this whole thing.

Let me go out to that table.

I'll call off all the bets

and leave the casino.

For good, sir.

With how much?

Well, I'm not sure, sir.

But maybe a few

hundred million lire...

A few hundred

million... you call that a...

You may have an idea,

lieutenant.

Thank you, sir.

But I am going to go you

one better.

Yes, sir.

You say one of your 3 numbers

is bound to win?

Can't help it, sir.

Therefore, any other 3 numbers

are bound to lose.

That's right, sir.

Therefore, and hear me good,

lieutenant, hear me good.

You are going out to that table,

and you are going to lose every,

single million!

Umph.

What's going on?

Is he letting you gamble?

He insists on it. What?

I thought he was going to

court-martial you?

He is.

Go ahead, lieutenant.

Let's have no foul-up.

Sit down!

Don't you have a report

to write up?

No, I have decided against it.

After all, in a few weeks,

they are going to give me Rome.

When I finish my report,

you'll be lucky to get

Liechtenstein.

Are we ready to gamble?

If you can call it that.

Your numbers are 8, 11 and 30.

Is that correct?

Correct.

All set, Fergie?

Change of numbers.

What?

What?

I want 9, 16, and 2.

You want what?

What?

Will you stop saying what?

Just switch the bets.

For Pete's sakes, why?

Yes, signore.

Why?

Your system has broken down

perhaps?

Look, I'm making

a simple request.

I want this on 9, I want this on

16, and I want...

No, no changes!

The bets have been placed.

It is too late.

- Now, wait a minute!

- No waiting!

Spin the wheel.

Hold it!

Want a riot? A riot?

This could start a war.

Now you listen to me... No!

You listen to me?

I said there is

no such a thing as a system,

and I will prove it.

Start the ball.

And no tricks,

carbieri, watch every move of

the signore?

Every move.

The ball is spinning.

The winning number is

9, 27, and 30.

All bets are off.

All bets are not off.

Number 30 wins!

Those chips belong

to the casino.

Gentlemen... Now, please...

You listen to me, old eldridge.

Money or no money... Yeah, sure.

Bets or no bets,

you're going

to marry me, do you hear?

If you don't, my father will

have you stuffed!

So that's the way it is,

is it, Harvey?

Signalman Taylor here.

Seems to be some excitement

over at the casino.

Arrest that man!

Take me to a blacksmith shop.

In venice, sir?

What for?

Good heavens, sir!

Who's responsible for this?

That's my future son-in-law.

Beau, it's all right.

We're married.

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