The Honor List Page #2

Okay, say, "Monkey butt."

Monkey butt!

(LAUGHING)

You ready?

- Ready?

- Yeah.

(ALL SCREAM)

Tie it tight.

- I'm gonna count to 30.

- Okay.

And if you don't come up,

I am pulling that rope.

- Ready?

- Okay.

Here I go. (INHALES)

1, 2, 3,

4, 5, 6,

7, 8, 9,

10, 11, 12...

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

Can't believe she's gone.

Why?

What do you mean, "Why?"

You weren't friends.

Yeah, but she was cool.

So are we still on

for spray tans after school?

Hell, yeah. I am as white

as a polar bear's butt crack.

(LAUGHS)

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

On behalf of the Morrisettes,

Krissy and I are organizing

a charity basketball fundraiser

for the Heart Rescue Project

in Honor's name.

Get your tickets.

Honor's midnight vigil

should have a sense

of integrity, class,

definitely a U2 cover.

Hey, Piper, um,

I know you weren't

really friends with Honor,

but I just made

a Remember Honor page.

Since you're Class President,

could you, you know,

like, share,

let people know about it?

Make the background color

pink.

Pink was her favorite color.

For Honor's locker,

out of respect

for her Japanese heritage.

I think we should find

the time capsule

and do the list.

There's no we, Piper.

If we were such good friends,

why didn't she tell us

that she was sick?

- (P.A. CHIMES)

- Good morning, students.

Principal Logan would like to

start the day with a few words.

We're going to take

a schoolwide moment of silence

in remembrance of Honor Liang.

And while we take a moment

to reflect on Honor

and what she meant

to the school,

we're going to play

her favorite song to dance to,

Bach's Third Orchestral Suite.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

She would have danced

to the Weeknd over Bach any day.

She hated pink.

Her favorite color was purple.

Have you seen her locker?

Yeah. It looks

like a fairy threw up.

Don't get me started.

And what's with

all that origami sh*t?

She wasn't even Japanese.

Her family's from Taiwan.

Yesterday Honor's mom said

we knew her and no one else did.

I mean, it's true. We did.

So I have to do this list,

and if you loved her,

you'll do it with me.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

I told you we should have

gone home first for our suits.

Looks like the rope

is still there.

Bet you I find it first.

What do you wanna bet?

There's a boat right there.

Knowing I beat you

is the only reward I need.

You're on.

(BOTH YELLING)

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Stop kicking water in my face!

(YELLS)

- I found it.

- (GROANS)

Kiss my ass.

Help.

Oh, "Free Mo" from

when I did that PETA march.

(LAUGHS)

Cotton candy?

No, it was an act

of political resistance.

- What?

- Remember when Isabella

grew out her armpit hair

and dyed it pink?

Oh, my God. Eww. Eww. Eww.

- You're so gross.

- Eww.

"Get into the Royal

School of Ballet."

Well, she got in,

just never got to go.

Okay,

let's not get all gloomy.

Just do this,

and get it over with.

I mean, let's do

the list for Honor.

I can only read six.

Six is easy, right?

Some... Something "break"?

Outbreak?

Jailbreak?

- Jailbreak Mo.

- That's right.

You used to make us

go to pet stores

and unleash all the parakeets.

Oh, yeah.

Wait. So are you

still vegetarian?

Yeah.

Impressive, vegetarian virgin.

We pledge thee our loyalty

Go, Mo, go, Mo

Why is our mascot a goat?

I mean, shouldn't it be, like,

a dolphin or a narwhal?

I mean, we're the Mariners,

not the Capricorns.

Okay, Mo is, like,

under high security.

Coach Johnson

is obsessed with him.

Oh, yeah. He keeps Mo

locked up, doesn't he?

- Mm-hmm.

- So we just need keys.

Who do we know?

You're the popular one.

Oh, no, God.

Only people who aren't popular

use the word "popular."

- You outted me.

- (MOCKING)

Okay, well,

we must know somebody.

Uh, who's the guy

that's the mascot?

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm not ready for love

I'm not ready for love

I'm not ready for love

- I'm not ready for love

- (APP WHISTLES)

I'm not ready

to kiss and hug

I'm not ready for love

I'm not ready to sit at home

- And wait for you

- (WHISTLE)

To find the phone,

I'm not ready

- (WHISTLES)

- No, no, baby

I'm not ready for love

- I'm not ready

- I'm not ready for love

- Oh, sugar

- I'm not ready for love

I'm not ready

to fight that fight

I'm not ready

to cry all night

Love is the thing

I'm not ready to face

So you

just gotta go your way

- I'm not ready

- I'm not ready for love

- Agh! Gaah!

- Ah, baby

- I'm not ready for love

- (GROANS)

Ready, ah, no, no, not ready

I hope you don't get

in trouble for this, Aaron.

I've been the mascot

for two years,

and I've never seen Mo

in his natural element.

He deserves a night of freedom.

- (CHUCKLES)

- It's almost 10:00.

Where's Piper?

BOY:
Later, babe.

(CAR DRIVES AWAY)

Oh, my God.

(SNICKERS)

(LAUGHS) Where's the goat?

Of course

you had to show up wasted.

I am not wasted.

You're wasted.

(DOOR CREAKS)

(SNIFFING)

- Ugh.

- Eww.

AARON:
Yeah,

you get used to that.

- What is it?

- Urine.

Oh, speaking of,

I have to cop a squat.

Bucks pee on their entire faces,

like their whole beard

and chest area.

Kinky.

You would take it there.

It's actually very natural.

That's right. The, uh, does

find it irresistible.

(URINATING)

Mo looks pretty content.

- You sure he wants to be free?

- (BLEATING)

You try living in captivity

for your entire life.

Of course he does.

All right, Mo.

Door's open. Be free.

Come on, Mo.

We're trying to set you free.

It's time to roam wild.

Come here, Mo. I have some

yummy grass for you can eat.

I think that's fertilized.

No, no, he'll die.

He can't eat that.

No, no,

goats can eat anything.

I saw one eat

a whole tin can once.

- That's a cartoon, Piper.

- I think I know the one.

Okay, but let me

just go grab him.

How about you let someone

who can stand upright do this?

- Come on, Mo.

- You can do it.

Free Mo,

and end animal mascot cruelty!

After years of severe trauma

by the noise, crowds,

chaos of games,

and not to mention

being forced to ride on a boat,

Mo is free.

- (BLEATING)

- (LAUGHS)

Free Mo!

- (LAUGHTER)

- It's not funny, you guys.

- This is so lame.

- Oh. Yeah.

(BALLAD PLAYING)

Do you like this song

or something a bit more upbeat?

Does the top go up?

No. It's broken.

I just keep praying

it doesn't rain. (LAUGHS)

H-How about this song?

- (ROCK-'N'-ROLL PLAYING)

- Uh, yeah, sure.

Can you turn it down a little?

(LOWERS VOLUME)

What's wrong?

Don't you wanna be seen with me?

No, yeah, it...

it's just that...

you know, I-I'm a girl,

and you're a guy,

and it's late, and I just...

I just don't want

anyone to think we're...

Right.

You have an image to keep up.

So when did you decide you

wanted to wait till marriage?

Freshman year,

when I started Worth the Wait.

- Why?

- I made a pact with someone.

Oh, like, with a guy?

No, not like that.

Just a friend.

I have an idea.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

I:

- (WHOOPING)

- Don't wanna be too cool

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