The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit Page #2

Aspercel

When you're sick

it'll make you well

Aspercel

When you're sick

it'll make you well

Twenty-four hours,

Harry.

Twenty-four hours, Fred.

Twenty-four hours.

[Crying]

[Woman]Judy Gardner!

Heels down, Judy!

Barnaby, sit tall!

Work with your horse,

not against him.

Pick him up, Jana.

Helen. Helen Bolton,

will you ride with Jana and show her?

Remember:
If you wanna learn

how to go over fences...

first you've got to learn

how to ride.

Very good!

Okay, that's enough

for today, kids.

Now those of you who are

putting your horses away...

be sure that

the stalls are closed.

Barnaby, let me see

your horse for a minute.

- Go ahead. Ask Suzie.

- About fathers?

Why not?

She had one, didn't she?

Tomorrow we'll try a different bit.

He's not happy with this one.

Suzie.

- Suzie what?

- Well, it's that big problem again.

I know. Helen wants

a horse of her own...

- more than anything

in the whole wide world.

- Well, she should have one.

You said yourself

she's the best rider in the class.

And all I said was, "She ought to try

the favorite father treatment."

I couldn't, Judy.

- And just what is

this favorite father treatment?

- It's simple.

All you do is

put a rose at his dinner plate...

bring him a cold martini

and say...

"Daddy, tell me every single thing

that happened at the office today."

- Then what?

- Then he says, "Let's talk

about something else."

So you talk to him

about buying you a horse.

I couldn't do

all that stuff.

Why not,

for pete's sake?

My father and I

understand each other.

Judy, I think this is something

that Helen should decide for herself.

Come on, boy.

Come on.

There's Daddy!

What's he doing here?

Wait a minute, Suzie.

I want you to meet my father.

[Judy]

Talk to him. Talk to him!

Daddy!

- Oh, hi, hi.

- What are you doing here?

[Sneezes]

- Daddy, you're not getting

allergic to me, are you?

- Those clothes, honey.

- Did you bring your antihistamine?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Where's the office?

- Right there.

- Oh.

- I wish you had told me you were coming.

The class just finished, and

I've been dying to have you see me ride.

Honey, I wanna see you ride.

I really do, but I've got

a briefcase full of homework.

I just came by

to deliver this saddle...

and to tell S.J. Clemens

the rules on highway robbery.

I'm Miss Clemens.

May I help you?

- How do you do, Miss Clemens?

Where's your father?

- My father?

S.J. Clemens, the owner

of this pirate's den.

I'm S.J. Clemens.

Suzie, this is Daddy.

Daddy, this is Suzie.

You know, the one

I'm always talking about?

How do you do, Mr. Bolton?

Now, about this pirate's den.

I assume you're objecting to

the charges on your statement.

I think I'll go put this saddle

in the tack room.

[Chuckling]

You sure

you're S.J. Clemens?

If you refer to the statement,

Mr. Bolton...

you'll see there's an unpaid balance

for the past seven months.

No way to run a business,

Miss Clemens.

You should've gotten ahold of me

personally and chewed my head off.

I intended to. Most parents

come down here occasionally

to see their children ride.

I can't even see my child in

jodhpurs without sneezing.

I'll draw up a detailed statement

and send it to you.

In the meantime,

I've got work to do.

Miss Clemens!

Miss Clemens, wait a moment!

Look, I apologize.

I had a miserable day

in the city...

and I took it out

on the first available person.

- I shouldn't have blasted off that way.

- That's quite all right.

We get used to tantrums

dealing with children all day.

[Grunts]

Well, you finally

met Suzie.

Yes, yes.

Finally met Suzie.

- Daddy?

- Yeah.

Uh, Daddy, we've always had

the kind of relationship where...

if one of us wants to ask something,

we just go right ahead and ask.

- Right?

- Right.

- Well, what I wanna ask...

- Uh-huh.

Uh, what I want

to ask you is...

Yes?

Uh, how did things

go at the office today?

What?

Or, would you rather have

a cold martini first?

Honey, I'd rather have

a cold martini period. Slide in.

In the best of families.

In the, uh...

All things being considered,

I like Aspercel because...

it's status, upper crust,

carriage trade, money in the bank.

It's a traditional, uh...

l-in the best...

In the best of families...

In the best of families,

it's a...

family tradition.

Aspercel

For relief.

Herbie, we just might have

something here. Let's see.

In the best of families,

it's a family tradition... Aspercel...

for relief.

[Growling]

Aunt Martha, you think I should

bring him another martini

with a rose this time?

I think it's a little too late

for that, dear.

What's he doing in there?

He's been there ever since dinner.

He's creating...

something about sour stomachs.

Carry Aspercel.

I'm getting punchy, Herbie.

Hey, bury it deep, huh?

Okay, Aunt Martha...

you can stop lurking about

out there with Helen.

Whatever it is, hit me with it now

while I'm weak and helpless.

- Oh, we weren't lurking, dear.

- Mm-hmm.

We were merely

waiting patiently.

What is it you'd like to buy

that we can't possibly afford?

- Oh, well...

- Well, dear...

No, Aunt Martha, I'll tell him.

After all, it's my problem.

- Daddy, I want...

- No, dear, I said I'd tell him.

- If you tell him...

- I'm sure it would

be better if I told him.

Well, somebody tell me, okay?

I mean, flip a coin.

I've got to get back

to work some time tonight.

- Daddy.

- Mmm?

Daddy, I want a horse of my own

more than anything I've ever

wanted in the whole world.

Suzie says, if I had a horse of my own,

it would give me confidence...

and I'd be in the ribbons

at the really big shows.

- And...

- And, uh, how much will it cost me?

- Well...

- Hundred dollars?

- Well, dear.

- Two hundred dollars?

Close to 2,000...

for a good one.

Two... Two thousand...

dollars!

[Chuckling]

Do you... have...

any idea... how thin

the financial ice is around this place?

I mean, I mean, a few items,

like, the mortgage and two cars...

and a private school and $900

for riding lessons and now you're...

- Freddie, we've been skating

on thin ice for years.

- Well, we're about to get wet.

- Well, suppose we do this...

- No, Aunt Martha, Daddy's right.

We can't afford a horse.

I was silly to ask. I never should have

brought up such a foolish thing.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

Really, I am.

[Door Closes]

- She really wants that horse, doesn't she?

- Yes, dear.

Two thousand dollars.

- Is she really that good?

- Why, she's the best

in her class, Freddie.

First place,

junior equitation.

And if she had her own horse,

she could graduate to hunters.

- Uh, they jump over fences

and things, dear.

- Huh.

For $2,000,

I'll jump a few fences myself.

- Now, Freddie.

- I don't know why she's so

steamed up about a horse anyway.

A boy, I could understand. Now, if she

had a boy problem, I could help her.

Oh, Fred.

She has got a boy problem.

- She what?

- She's terrified of boys.

She thinks

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes