The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit Page #8

a seven-foot wall this afternoon.

- Seven feet?

- And one inch! The police

measure everything.

Aspie went seven feet.

I personally went ten feet

for a flash finish into a lath house.

You will tell me, old boy,

won't you, when you plan to,

uh, stop that fast again?

- Fred?

- Yeah?

Supposing Aspie did make it.

To Washington, I mean.

No, no, no. Helen's through

riding in horse shows.

And I'm through

on Madison Avenue.

Stop feeling sorry

for yourself and listen.

- Sorry for myself?

- Supposing Aspie were entered

in the open jumper championship.

Why do you say

I'm sorry for myself?

Because I like you.

Because I like Helen.

I like Aunt Martha and Aspie

and Herbie and the whole insane setup.

And maybe I have an idea

to save it. That's all.

You know, you look rather fetching

when you get all steamed up like this.

Listen. Do you have any idea how

many horses there are...

in this whole wide world

that can jump seven feet?

A handful. Aspie may have the stuff

to go for the biggest prize of all.

- The open jumper championship.

- That's impossible. He's a kid's horse.

I mean, just because he was

on the lam from the cops...

If he did it once,

he can do it again.

And if he made it to Washington

as an open jumper...

Wow! That's

really big league.

And you get a thousand times

more publicity than with Helen

in a junior class, right?

Well, sure, but...

Aspercel,

open jumper champion.

How would Allied Drug like that

for a subliminal commercial?

You know, you might be

in the wrong business.

- Is it a deal then?

- Yeah, it's a deal.

Well, you get

a good night's rest, Aspie.

We've got big plans for you.

Good night.

Good night. Uh, so soon?

Can I buy ya a beer?

Uh, cup of coffee?

Glass of milk?

No. I want to get

a good night's rest myself.

We haven't much time.

I want to put Aspie in training tomorrow.

You really think

he has a chance?

Naturally I want to get

an expert opinion before we go too far.

Your opinion

is good enough for me.

There's one man who can

tell us in a minute. I want to get him.

Then get him.

You're the boss.

- Fred?

- Yeah?

I'm sorry I said you were

sorry for yourself. I didn't mean it.

Yes, you did, and I was.

[Laughs]

- Oh, uh, S.J., uh...

- Yes?

- J-just one question.

- Yes?

Why are you being

so helpful?

- Hmm?

- Well, I mean...

Uh, who are you

doing all this for?

- Couldn't be Helen. She's out of it now.

- I guess so.

Not Tom Dugan.

You don't know him.

No. No, that's true.

Not Aunt Martha, is it?

No. No, it's not Aunt Martha.

No, no.

Well, I guess that only

leaves one conclusion, doesn't it?

Yeah, I guess it does.

I must be doing it

for the horse.

[Both Laughing]

- I like you, S.J.

- I must go.

Helen and, uh, Aunt Martha

and Herbie like ya too, S.J.

Good night.

The whole family

likes ya, S. J!

[Horn Honking]

- This will have to be moved

about 18 inches.

- [Car Door Closing]

- Hi, Daddy!

- Hi, honey.

[Grunts] I got tied up at

the office. Am I late?

No, you're just in time.

They're gonna try him now.

Yeah, for what?

The pole vault?

- That thing looks ten feet high.

- No more than

five-and-a-half feet, Daddy.

Isn't this the craziest?

- Is that the expert fellow out there?

- Yeah, that's him.

Wait till you meet him. He's so handsome

you're gonna go all swoony.

I'll try to bear up.

Where's Suzie?

She's in the barn with Aspie.

Hey, you sure

this guy's an expert?

He used to be

on the United States Equestrian Team.

Now he's

a professional coach.

- He knows more about jumpers

than practically anybody around.

- Hmm.

Uh, Mr. Madison?

I'd like you to meet my father.

- Oh!

- Daddy, this is Archer Madison.

- How do you do, Mr. Bolton?

- Mr. Madison.

I've been looking over your horse.

If he's as good over the fences...

as he looks in the stall,

you might have something.

Well, good, good.

I hope so.

[Helen]

Here they come!

I'll check with you later.

- Archer Madison?

- Isn't he devastating, Daddy?

- Devastating.

- [Aspie Whinnying]

- Hey, he's... He's the one

that Suzie almost got, uh...

- I know. She told me.

How could she ever have

cooled it with anyone so gorgeous?

Well, if she cooled it,

it looks like he's heating it up again.

Oh, Daddy, he's just giving her some

last-minute instructions.

Maybe that's what it looks like

to you, but if you ask...

What... what do you mean,

instructions? About what?

- Hey! What is she doing?

- Well, she's gonna ride him.

- Suzie?

- All the top riders

were booked for Washington.

So it had to be Suzie

or else.

Well, that fence

is too high for her.

Daddy, Suzie knows what

she's doing, really.

[Madison]

Now, watch your rhythm.

Rhythm. That's what

these placing poles are all about.

After the brush

there are three beats.

One, two, three!

You got left behind.

Try it again.

What is he doing now?

He's raising it higher!

Remember what

those cavallettis are for.

That's better.

- You're behind the motion.

Get with the horse.

- Right.

Watch it!

[Gasps]

Are you all right, Suzie?

You're sure?

- Yes, I'm all right. I'm all right, Fred.

- You hurt?

It was so stupid of me.

Could we try it again, Archer?

- Yes, of course.

- Try...

Nothing doing! The whole deal is off.

What are you trying to do, kill her?

I'm merely trying to help her

get to Washington...

which for some mysterious reason

she seems to want.

- Now, come on, Suzie.

I'll give you a leg up.

- Suzie!

- Suzie! I don't think you should.

- I'm all right, Fred, really.

- Now, knees tighter this time.

- Okay.

I'll get it good this time.

She's okay, Daddy.

Come on.

All right, Suzie.

Get with it now.

That's much better.

Okay, that'll be enough.

[Exhales]

Well, what do you think, Archer?

I think you've been doing

too much teaching and not enough riding.

But you still

have a talent.

It's a 300-to-1 shot,

but she does have a chance.

And if you want me to help, I will.

The decision is yours.

Well, come on, young lady.

Let's cool off this horse of yours.

On to Washington, Freddie?

Suzie, I can't let you risk your neck

to save mine with Tom Dugan.

[Laughs] You're just afraid that

Aspie and I will be a flop.

Are you demented?

I think you're both great.

Then you're afraid you won't

be able to sell Mr. Dugan.

Oh, that's no problem.

I mean, it's a natural, but...

Then let's stop horsing around.

On to Washington, Freddie?

[Sighs]

On to Washington, Suzie.

[Laughs]

Good.

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

Oh! Isn't this

beautiful, Freddie?

Yeah, yeah, this is

the big league, all right. [Chuckles]

[Trumpet Fanfare]

[Man On P.A. System]

Ladies and gentlemen...

welcome to the Washington

International Horse Show.

Circling the ring now

in the tallyho coach...

are the distinguishedjudges

for this evening's events.

- Does jumping start now?

- I don't know.

No, ma'am. These are just

the opening ceremonies.

- Ceremonies.

- The first jumping class

doesn't start till later.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes