The House of Yes Page #7

finds out how you spent the night.

Your choice.

Leave now with your

symbology intact...

or stay and lose Marty anyway.

So what if I slept with his brother?

He slept with his sister!

I'm sure I don't know

what you're talking about.

I'm sure you do.

"Sure."

One can never be sure.

Don't forget your toothbrush.

Oh, don't clean, Mother.

Honestly.

- Don't we have a maid?

- Not anymore.

- What happened to her?

- She quit, when you shot your brother.

- Oh, that's right.

- What's for breakfast, then?

- He speaks.

- Croissants.

They're in the kitchen. They're filled

with something. I forget what.

- Mm. I guess we'll find out.

- Oh, how exciting.

Don't you find life

to be exciting?

What's that gun doing there?

- That's not a gun, it's a camera.

- It is too a gun.

- It's a camera that looks like a gun.

- Give it to me.

- Relax, Mama. It's an empty gun.

- How do you know?

- I checked.

- What is it doing there?

Just being gunlike.

"Gunesque." "Gunonic."

- Where did it come from?

- God?

We were taking a trip

down memory lane.

- I want it now.

- I'll put it away.

- Marty?

- I'll put it away.

Mother?

You look so white.

Oh, Jackie.

If it happens again, they'll put you

away, they'll just put you away.

- Only if someone finds out.

- She must have family somewhere.

- What are you talking about?

- Lesly.

- I'm not going to shoot Lesly.

- Just don't.

That's all we need

is Marty mooning over some dead girl.

She's leaving anyway.

- When?

- This morning.

- Why?

- I suggested it.

- And she agreed?

- More or less.

- Is Marty going with her?

- Don't be silly...

If he leaves again, I'll implode!

I'll just implode.

He's staying.

- Well, where is she now?

- Packing, I imagine.

- She's packing?

- As we speak.

What if she forgets something?

We'll burn it.

- Yes. Yes.

- Mm. Mm.

Mm!

What? Wha... Oh...

You can't leave like this.

- Not in the storm.

- I've gotta get Marty out of here.

Can I come?

I wanna go to New York.

Well, uh,

you can't come with us.

Here. Put everything back.

Don't leave.

How can you stay with him

when you know? You know!

I don't know.

I don't know!

We could go to Pennsylvania.

What's the name of your town?

- You've never heard of it.

- But I want to hear of it.

Anthony, I'm not going to go

to Pennsylvania with you.

I'm not going to New York with you.

I'm not going to the 7-11 with you.

Stop smelling my clothes.

I will never love another woman.

I will go to the desert

and love only sand.

Sand?

What does that mean?

You never go hungry

in the desert, Lesly. You know why?

- Why?

- Because of the "sand which is" there.

- Is it away?

- Yes.

- Did you hide it?

- I put it somewhere.

- But did you hide it?

- Mother...

Only in the sense that I put it somewhere,

and no one saw me put it there.

If I walked into the room where

you put the gun, could I see it?

- No.

- Then it's hidden.

Don't worry, Mama,

we won't bloody the carpets.

You actually think

I'm worried about my carpets?

- Aren't you?

- A little.

I had to steam-clean

last time...

and there's still

sort of a shadow.

Stop!

Stop! Get off!

Get off. Stop!

My! You're up early.

Did you sleep all right?

Why are you wearing

that costume?

Everything else was in the wash.

There's croissants in the kitchen.

No pancakes today, I'm afraid.

- I have to talk to Marty.

- Mm, I wonder what about.

You were supposed

to sneak in my room last night.

- Ah! I fell asleep.

- Did you?

No.

He stayed up.

- By yourself?

- With me.

Uh, the hurricane took the Kennedy

stables. The horses got loose.

Secret Service were

all over the place.

I didn't hear any horses.

What jumped over the moon?

A cow or a horse?

- A cow.

- Oh. I thought it was a horse.

- No, a cow.

- Ah... Wh-What's the rest of it?

Uh, I know silverware

was involved...

- "Hey, Diddle Diddle..."

- Lesly, you're up. I see you're all packed.

- Yes.

- I'll call you a cab.

I don't need a cab.

- How are you getting to the train station?

- I'm going with Marty.

- Marty's going to drive you?

- He's coming with me.

Oh! I don't think so.

He can decide for himself.

To make a decision,

a person needs all the facts...

and I don't think Marty

has all the facts.

Ah! Anthony. How did you sleep?

Did you sleep all right?

- What?

- Lesly, how did you sleep? Did you sleep all right?

- Yes, thank you.

- Did Anthony sleep all right?

- Why don't you ask him?

- Marty, why don't you ask your brother how he slept?

- Why?

- Jackie, why don't you ask your brother how he slept?

- How'd ya sleep, Marty?

- Your other brother.

How'd ya sleep, Anthony?

What's going on?

Lesly stayed with me last night.

Ah. A quaint Pennsylvania

prenuptial custom.

I am shocked. Young lady,

what do you have to say for yourself?

Call me old-fashioned,

but I'd say the wedding's off.

- It's just as well. I always cry at weddings.

- I've even cried at mine.

- Must have had a premonition.

- Mm.

- Get out.

- That's right.

Anthony, take this harlot

to the train station.

Get out!

Jackie?

Jackie?

If you really cared for her,

you wouldn't have brought her here.

I wanted to come here.

And you did... come.

- Or didn't you?

- Don't.

You don't deserve her.

How was he?

I can't tell you.

That good, huh?

It was his first time.

Yeah. Right.

You mean it wasn't?

What do you think?

Then why would he say it?

To get laid.

Well, I'm sorry, but when somebody says

something, I tend to think it's the truth.

It's just the way I am,

the way I was brought up...

and if somebody forgets to mention something,

I wouldn't think to ask, for example...

"Did you sleep

with your sister?"

Do you think masturbation counts

as infidelity?

- What do you mean?

- When I sleep with me and not you, am I cheating on you?

Marty, stop it!

I came downstairs before.

- Before when?

- During it. The thing.

What thing?

The thing with the gun.

The costume?

Oh, God.

Warmer. Warmer. Warmer.

- Colder.

- What exactly are you doing, sweetheart?

- He's going to leave again.

- Jackie, don't be insane.

- I'm sorry, I mean...

- Warmer. Warmer. Colder.

Jackie!

Colder.

Warmer. Warmer.

Colder. Colder.

Colder. Colder!

Colder, colder, colder,

colder, colder!

Anthony!

Anthony, get your sister

her medication. You know where it is.

No, Anthony.

Don't bother.

I'm fine. Really. I just

got turned around for a second there.

Everything's going to be okay.

I know that. Silly me.

I just haven't had

my coffee yet.

I haven't even

gone to the bathroom.

- Mama, will you make us some coffee?

- Of course. Of course.

I'm fine.

Do you want me to leave?

- You gotta help me.

- How?

Talk me back.

Tell me about Sundays.

You and I.

Doin' a Sunday.

- We-We get up...

- Right, right. We get up.

What about the alarm?

Did the alarm go off?

No. No alarm, baby.

It's Sunday.

Oh. Yeah, it's Sunday.

And w-we don't wake up

till after 11:
00...

and I pull the comforter

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes