The Humbling Page #2

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for other things,

like you're going to lose your friends.

You know, what do they

say about athletes?

First their legs go,

their knees, then their money goes,

then their friends go.

So, you know that stuff, but...

the inability to...

remember words...

How did that happen?

I mean, I actually would be in a play,

just the other day...

and I...

I would be saying lines

from a play I did ten years ago,

which was a totally different play.

And of course,

that's really unsettling.

The audiences start to... to...

I'm not alone here.

You're listening to what I'm saying.

Does this interest you in any way?

So I can go on? I feel like I'm...

hogging everything here.

I don't know what else I can say

except that it got really bad,

worse and worse.

When... when the audiences started...

When the audiences started to, you know,

recede and not want to...

participate with me... anymore.

Sensing what was happening...

it was just too much to take. I...

I just didn't...

I lost something that I had all my life.

It was gone.

Like, just gone, like magic.

And I...

I couldn't have even conceived of

something like that happening, so...

what to do? What to do?

Would you mind cleaning the tables?

Yes. Okay.

First, leave me my drink.

What is wrong with you?

This is no good, you see.

Excuse me sir,

we're doing a survey on reactions.

- Would you like to take part?

- Yeah, sure.

Thank you. That's two points.

Have you ever done

anything like this before?

- No, never.

- Thank you very much.

Do you like it?

That's another two points.

Simon, would you be free

later today for a chat?

Oh, I have other plans.

You know, I might be able

to fit you in next Thursday.

Thursday.

I was just joking.

I was only joking. Of course I'll

be able to have a chat with you.

That was so convincing.

I was the perfect wife

for the perfect 20th century,

East Coast, Ivy-league educated,

well-respected, wealthy husband.

Our house was just outside the city.

And it was the perfect place for us

to celebrate our perfect lives.

And we have two...

perfect children.

We have a five-year-old boy

and a seven-year-old girl

to fit into our perfect lives.

Then one afternoon,

I went into the city to do some shopping

and halfway there I realized

that I had left my wallet

back at the house,

and so I drove back home.

I could only see the top

of my little girl's head

from the back of the sofa

and the TV was on

and the Saturday cartoons were playing,

but that's what she would have been

watching under any circumstances.

- I'm sorry, are you following me?

- Oh, yeah. Sure.

So everything was in order

except I had to wonder why

the little cotton underpants

were lying on the arm of the couch.

Now you probably see

where I'm going with this, but...

when I got to the back of the couch

and I looked over,

I was... I was not prepared to see my

rich and powerful husband's head

out of sight and under

my little girl's skirt.

You know, it's a terrible

thing to say, I know,

but while she's talking,

all I'm thinking about is

maybe this is some kind

of test, you know,

like they're testing me

to see if I buy this stuff.

Is this going to make me better?

I mean, is this part of the therapy?

You know...

the sick talking to the sicker.

And I made some kind of noise,

and my husband's head appeared from...

from... from where it had been,

and... and he looked at me, and he says,

"Oh, hi.

Aren't you off to the city?"

And I stood there frozen,

my heart turning over,

and my throat burning...

and I had nothing to say.

Nothing.

There she is pouring her heart out

and all I can do is think about

how she's doing it.

I mean, how she's performing it.

I don't know, I would have...

I would have...

been a little bit more

emotional at this point,

I had to remove myself.

You know what I'm saying?

And I'm...

watching her like I'm watching

a Tennessee Williams play.

I need someone to kill my husband.

Did you ask if she was ever

under psychiatric care before?

- No.

- Weren't you curious?

Well, to be honest,

it never entered my mind.

I'm sure you can find... you'll be

able to find somebody that can do that.

Well, you.

If I was a killer,

I would tell you this.

I'd do it pro bono.

I'd do it, but, you know,

I'm an out-of-work actor.

I'd botch the job, I'm sure.

So, you know...

Are you serious? Are you serious?

Yeah. I mean,

of course I'm willing to pay.

Oh, no. Sybil, Sybil, listen.

When you do a play,

do you ever ask about

the character's background, past?

- Of course, yeah.

- But not in real life?

I saw you in that film about the man

who slaughters all his neighbors.

Yeah, murders the neighbor next door.

Yeah. You were so convincing.

That was a fiction, Sybil. Fiction.

You can't just go around asking people

if they'd kill your husband for you.

It's not done.

It's socially...

socially awkward.

- You know?

- But you're not.

You're not people, Simon.

- What?

- You're my friend.

Yum, yum, yummy.

I lost my talent for no good reason

and now just as arbitrarily,

I'm losing the desire to kill myself.

Or it's... I mean, I lost it.

The most important thing is you're

leaving here a stronger man.

And remember, we'll continue

our private sessions on Skype.

Oh, yeah, Skype.

I got that in my head, you know.

- Yeah. Good.

- All the instructions in my head.

Well, you know, my big worry is that

every time I see a camera,

I sort of, you know,

I feel the need to perform.

- It's a habit.

- Don't expect any applause. It's just us.

- Hi.

- Hi. May I help you?

You don't remember me?

Oh, man, you're kidding.

Little Pegeen.

How are you? Come on in. Wow.

It's a delivery from my parents.

Oh, gee, thanks. Wow.

God. I still have this image of you

sucking at your mother's breast.

Pure class.

Well...

You know, when I was, like,

8 and you were, like, 40,

I had a massive crush on you?

- You did? Whoa.

- Big time.

Well...

- Look at you now.

- Yeah.

Do I have something on my face

or do you always space out

in the direction of people

you haven't seen in a while?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I was staring, wasn't I?

I was a little lost. I'm sorry.

Simon Axler, whose presence in a room

is as dazzling as his presence on stage.

Simon Axler,

with the charisma that kills.

What happened? Did you get shot?

What brings you here?

I live near you now.

I teach at Westcott.

You teach? At Westcott Women's College?

- Yeah.

- There.

Theater, acting, scenic design.

- Family trade.

- Precisely.

You know, your mother and I co-starred

when she played Pegeen Mike

- at the Bramford Theater.

- Yes, I know.

I've heard all of the stories.

Old theater friends. Long before my time.

So...

Do you remember

the last time you saw me?

Yes.

- You must have been 10, 11 years old.

- You remember what you gave me?

I gave you the wedding ring

I wore in Streetcar.

I slept with that wedding ring

under my pillow for...

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