The Hunting Party Page #2

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in a country half the size of Kentucky,

and they can't find

any of these f***ing war criminals.

There's no way this country is going

to get its economy back up

until it starts catching

some of these a**holes.

Until they catch the Fox.

Now that would be a great story.

Yeah? Who's the Fox?

Where's that Bosnian war book

you've been reading?

Uh-oh.

It never gets old.

It's not pretty.

Thank you.

Doctor Dragoslav Boghanovic,

the Fox,

is the most wanted war criminal in Bosnia.

During the war,

he ordered the rape and murder

of thousands of innocent Muslims.

There's a $5 million bounty

on his little arrogant head.

Oh.

Yeah.

You got everyone from the UN,

CIA, and NATO,

and every bounty hunter

from here to Chuck Norris

looking for him.

I think that poor boy needs

some slivovice quick.

It's good.

It's brandy.

Yeah? How good?

Let's put it this way.

There's an old Bosnian saying

that when a bottle of this stuff

is on the table,

the devil's sitting in the corner laughing.

You know what I was just thinking of?

If every day is a holiday

at the Holiday Inn...

- That's not your room.

- I know.

Then what do they do...

What do they do about Christmas time?

Look, man,

if I don't see you at breakfast,

I'm going to have NATO send a task force

to search for you.

Okay.

Good night, Duck.

Hey, hey, hey!

Duck!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

- Hello, Duckie.

- Oh, f***!

Simon.

Surprise.

How the hell are you?

Get over here.

Been good.

Been good.

Been around.

Amazing how many

crappy wars you'll find

if you go looking for 'em.

- But you're okay?

- Yeah, sure. Yeah.

I've been getting through.

I hope you don't mind.

I raided your honor bar over there.

Purloined a few

of your little bottles of vodka.

So what else is new?

I watched you guys today

doing your report up on a bridge.

Franklin's not looking half bad.

He have some work done?

- Eyelift.

- Oh.

- But you were watching us, huh?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I was...

I was hoping maybe I could convince you

to shoot my stand-up report

tomorrow at the ceremony.

You know, old times' sake.

Yeah, sure.

You know,

I could save a little money

if I didn't have to hire

a cameraman, so...

I'm going to sell it

to the Germans or Jamaicans.

Yeah.

F***, Simon.

You know, I meant to try

and track you down.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry, Duck.

I heard rumors.

They're all true.

I got something, Duck.

Not just the anniversary,

I got a real story.

Something that could put me

right back on the map.

I thought you might be interested. Huh?

It's not like I don't want to.

I just...

You know, I'd do anything for you.

But I'm meeting this girl in Greece

the day after tomorrow,

and it's just not something

I can cancel, you know?

Just shitty timing.

I got this three-week vacation and all.

Look, but I'll still do

your stand-up tomorrow.

Look, I... I got to get out of here.

What, already?

Simon!

- Great to see you, Duck.

- Simon!

The white doves released

to denote peace around the world.

Peace especially in Sarajevo

and Bosnia-Herzegovina.

Simon Hunt.

I thought you were dead.

Franklin.

You look good.

Very taut.

Duck said you were coming by here.

That's fine with me

if you wanna piggyback with us.

- I got no hard feelings.

- Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Franklin.

Magnanimous as always.

I promise I won't try to steal Duckie back.

Oh, you can't afford him.

Hell, I could hardly afford him.

Benjamin, meet Simon Hunt,

a former star with our network.

Simon, Benjamin Strauss.

Benjamin, you look young enough

to be someone important's son.

Yeah. The network vice-president's.

You know, I thought you were dead, too.

What?

Simon used to be our best correspondent

till he flamed out on national television.

Yeah. No, I remember.

I mean, we studied it

in journalism school.

Reporting from

the five-year anniversary ceremony

for Jamaican television,

this is Simon Hunt in Sarajevo.

Reporting for Peruvian state television,

I'm Simon Hunt in Sarajevo.

Reporting for

the Polish television news network,

I'm Simon Hunt in Sarajevo.

I hope one of these bastards buys this.

Hope so.

Check the atlas.

I don't think you got any countries left.

Yeah, well,

considering what I got up my sleeve,

it won't matter much.

Hey, get this back to the hotel.

I'll meet you there later.

All right, daddy, what's the story?

You make the call?

What call?

To your little Greek souvlaki.

'Cause this story's too big to waste

if you're just going to get on a plane

like Facelift Franklin.

You're getting soft, Duckie.

You've gotten real soft

around the edges.

You're like a racehorse

that's been put out to pasture.

Yeah, and you can f*** off, Simon.

But when I know that you're ready

to do serious journalism,

instead of that anchorman fluff

they've reduced you to,

I'll fill you in, okay?

What's the story, you motherf***er?

It's good.

It's really good.

What?

What?

You know the Fox?

Pompous bastard who's responsible

for all of this?

Yeah.

I know where he's hiding.

So this great source of yours

knows where he's hiding,

just like that?

Yeah. Correct.

And we're going to find him

and score an interview.

Correct.

Go where no bounty hunter

or U.S. Marine has ever gone before.

Correct.

You are out of your f***ing mind.

Okay. What about the bodyguards

that he travels with, Simon?

Have you thought about that?

Yeah. Word is he's got 20

armed guards with him at all times.

Yeah? Well, I heard it's 50.

- Fifty?

- Fifty.

Maybe.

Actually, some people

believe he has none.

Stupid people.

Doesn't matter.

He's expecting NATO troops,

not two jerks in a car.

We can get right up to him.

I know the town.

- I have directions.

- You got directions?

What, somebody said

"Make a left at the first Quickie-Mart"?

I don't think they have

Quickie-Marts in Bosnia, Duckie.

Okay, Simon.

This great source of yours...

How do you even know

that you can trust him?

It's real.

He says he's hiding

up in the mountains of Celibici,

right by the border of Montenegro.

You go one step over the border,

NATO can't catch you.

No, no, no.

- They've been printing that gossip...

- He's there. He's in the mountains.

He's there! He...

He's an hour and a half

up an unpaved road.

He's surrounded

by sympathetic Bosnian Serbs

who will protect him...

at all costs.

That's just f***ing great.

We're leaving first thing in the morning.

If you could see me in this bikini, Duck,

you wouldn't be doing this.

Come on. Come on, baby.

Look, it's... I promise it's just going

to be two more days, okay?

Oh, well, I can wait.

But I don't know for how long.

You're torturing me.

And you're torturing me.

So we're even.

Hello? Hello?

I must be a complete f***ing idiot.

Hey, look, I know I'm new

and green and a joke to you,

but I just graduated

from Harvard, okay?

And I know something's up.

I haven't the slightest idea

what you're talking about.

Oh, come on.

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