The Iceman Cometh Page #5

ever to set you free.

Well, now,

Cecil, Piet!

We must forget

the war.

Boer and Britain,

each fought fairly

and played the game

until the better man won,

and then we shook hands.

We are all brothers

within The Empire,

united beneath the flag

on which the sun

never sets.

Ship me somewhere

East of Suez

Where the best

Is like

the worst

Where there ain't

No Ten Commandments

And a man can raise

A thirst

On the road

To Mandalay

Where the flyin' fishes

Play

And the dawn

Comes up

like thunder

Outer China

'Crost the Bay

God, you're there

already, Jimmy.

Worst is best here,

and east is west,

and tomorrow

is yesterday.

What more do you want?

Come now, Larry,

old friend.

You pretend a bitter,

cynic philosophy,

but in your heart

you are the kindest man

among us.

The hell you say.

Tomorrow, yes.

It's high time

I got myself

straightened out.

I must have this suit

cleaned and pressed.

I can't look like

a tramp when I...

Yes, sir,

white folks always said

I was white.

In the days

when I was flush,

Joe Mott's the only colored man

they allows

in the white

gamblin' houses.

"You're all right, Joe,

you're white,"

they tells me.

(laughs)

They wouldn't let me

play craps, though.

'Cause they knew I could

make them dice behave.

"Any other game,

any limit you like, Joe,"

they says.

Man, the money I lost.

(chuckling)

Yeah...

look at the

Big Chief in them days.

He knew I was white.

I'd saved my dough

so I could start

my own gamblin' house.

Folks in the know

they tells me,

"You see the man

at the top,

"then you never has trouble.

You get Harry Hope to give you

a letter to the Chief."

And he does.

(chuckles)

Ain't that right,

Harry?

Eh?

Sure,

I gave you a letter.

I says you was white.

There, you see,

captain?

I went to see the Chief,

shakin' in my boots,

and there he was,

sittin' behind

a big desk,

lookin' as big

as a freight train.

He don't look up.

He keeps me

waitin' and waitin',

and after what seems

like an hour to me,

he says slow and quiet,

like he didn't mean no harm,

"You want to open a

gamblin' joint, does you, Joe?"

But he don't give

me no chance to answer.

He jumps up,

lookin' as big as

two freight trains,

and he pounds his fist

like a ham on the desk,

and he shouts,

"You black son of a b*tch!

"Harry says you're white

and you better be white!

"Or there's a little iron room

up the river

waitin' for ya!"

Then he sits down,

and he says,

quiet again,

"All right, you can open,

get the hell outta here."

So I opens,

and he finds out

I was white, sure 'nuff.

'Cause I run

wide open for years

and I pays my sugar

on the dot,

and me and the cops

is friends.

Them old days!

Many's the night

I used to come in here.

(laughs)

This used to be a

first-class hangout for sports

in them days.

Good whiskey,

15 cents,

two for two bits.

(laughs)

I throws down

a $50 bill

like it was trash paper!

And I says,

"Drink it up,

boys,

I don't want the change."

Ain't that right,

Harry?

Yes,

and bejees,

if I ever see you throw

50 cents on the bar now,

I'd know I had

delirium tremens!

(men laughing)

Well thanks, Harry,

old chum.

I will have a drink,

now you mention it,

seeing it's so near

your birthday.

I sorry,

can't hear you.

(sighs)

No, I was afraid

you wouldn't.

I don't have

to hear you, bejees.

Booze is the only thing

you ever talk about.

True, true.

Yet there was a time

when my conversation

was more comprehensive.

But as I became

burdened with the years,

it seemed rather pointless

to discuss my other subject.

You can't joke with me.

How much room rent

do you owe me?

Tell me that!

I'm sorry.

(chuckles)

Adding always

baffled me,

subtraction's my forte.

(men laughing)

Oh, think

you're funny.

Captain, bejees,

showin' off your wounds.

Put on your clothes,

for Chrissake!

This ain't

no Turkish bath!

Lousy Limey army.

Took 'em years

to lick a gang

of Dutch hayseeds.

That's right, Harry,

give him hell!

I give you

my word of honor,

as an officer

and a gentleman,

you shall be paid

tomorrow.

We swear it,

Harry,

tomorrow without fail!

There you are,

Harry.

Sure,

what could be fairer?

A promise is a promise,

as I've often discovered.

Naming you, too...

old grafting flatfoot.

Fine company for me,

bejees!

Been livin' in my flat

since Christ knows when,

and you ain't even

got the decency

to get me upstairs,

where I got a good bed!

Kept me down here

waitin' for Hickey

to show up,

hopin' I'd blow you

to more drinks!

I did my damnedest

to get you up.

But you said

you couldn't bear the flat

because it was

one of those nights

when memory brought

poor old Bessie

back to you.

Ah, yes...

I remember now.

I could almost

see her in every room

just as she used to be...

and it's 20 years

since I...

Isn't a pipe dream

of yesterday a touching thing?

By all accounts,

20 years...

Bessie nagged the hell

out of him.

And I've never set foot

out of this house

since the day

I buried her.

Once she's gone, I didn't

give a damn for anything.

The boys was gonna

nominate me for Alderman.

Mm, Bessie wanted it,

and she was so proud.

But when she was taken,

I told 'em,

"No, boys, I can't do it.

I'm through."

I know, Lord,

why Bessie

would appreciate my grief.

She wouldn't want it

to keep me cooped up in here

all my life.

So I've made up my mind

to go out soon.

Take a walk around the ward,

see all the friends

I used to know.

Get together with the boys.

(hits table)

My birthday, tomorrow!

That'd be the right time

to turn over a new leaf!

60, that ain't too old.

The prime of life, Harry.

Hmm.

Time I took hold of myself.

Tomorrow

I must get my things

from the laundry.

Clean collar and shirt.

If I wash the ones

I've got on anymore,

they'll fall apart.

(chuckles)

I must make

a good appearance.

I've heard rumors management

were at their wits' end

and would be

only too willing

to have me run

the publicity department

for them again.

All I have to do

is get fixed up

with a decent

front tomorrow,

and it's as good as done.

Poor Jimmy's off

on his pipe dream again.

I'm sorry

we had to postpone

our trip again

this April, Piet.

I'd hoped

the blasted old estate

would be settled by then.

We'll make it next year,

even if we have to work

and earn

our passage money.

You'll stay with me

at the old place

just as long as you like.

England in April.

Oh, I want you

to see that, Piet.

I admit that the veldt

has its points,

but it's not home.

Especially home in April.

We've been

together now

For 40 years

And it don't seem

A day too much

There ain't a lady

Livin' in the land

As I'd swop

For me dear old Dutch

There ain't a lady

Livin' in the land

As I'd swop

For me dear

Old Dutch

Yeah, Cecil,

I can see

how beautiful

it must be,

but I will enjoy

when I am home, too.

The veldt, ya!

You could put

England on it,

and it would look like a

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