The Idiots Page #4

But when you come up

with crap like that...

It's known as baby food,

not child's food.

So "Child's Food" can easily

be the pay-off...

... for someone who makes baby food.

Quite sophisticated, really.

- Baby food, child's food.

- Baby food, child's food.

Bloody hell.

She's here.

I'll go and talk to her first.

Then you come in with Svendsen.

And Severin, to be on the safe side.

But whatever she says today,

keep your balls in the air.

"Child's food", for f***'s sake.

- Svendsen.

- Benedikte.

- Severin.

- And you know each other.

- No.

- We haven't had much time.

But sometimes that's what it takes.

A deadline...

Axel, will you show us what you've got?

Axel?

Problems?

If you're worried about taking

a client from another agency...

No, it's not that.

Axel, show us what you've got.

Even if it's provisional.

Ah, an itty-bitty wee thing.

Child's Food...

If I read you right...

... you are favourably disposed

towards... towards Child's Food.

- I think it's... bloody good.

- Fine.

We have a luxury problem.

It could be too sophisticated.

It might be confused

with children's food.

- Children... baby...

- It's sophisticated.

- Would you like a glass of water?

- Yes, please.

Have you got a colour printer?

If you like these colours,

we'll keep them.

May I ask the kind of...

we... figure...

I mean how much money

are we talking about for the campaign?

That would be with the buses and all.

No, the buses would come on top.

- Axel?

- Excuse me.

I think Benedikte and l

will take a stroll.

- Come along, Benedikte.

- Need any help?

Enjoying yourself?

I'm loving it.

Get out of here.

Phone and say you haven't the authority.

But not that the pay-off sucks.

But it does suck.

That tiny bit of paper...

How the hell did you get in?

"Child's Food..."

How do you think these things up?

Is that what you do here?

I'm amazed.

- It's incredible

- Get out, Katrine.

OK, OK, I'm out of here.

Card, please.

- No way.

- OK. We'll continue the meeting.

See you.

... is this the way out?

OK. We've talked about that now.

But why are you lying to me?

- I'm not.

- You are!

You say you didn't hump Katrine,

but I know you did.

If you want to be so liberated

and unprejudiced...

... you have to admit

you humped the b*tch.

- That's not what it's about.

- It is! You're lying.

It just isn't.

Hey, don't stare at strangers.

Excuse my brother,

he's soft in the head.

It's the tattoos, man.

He likes them.

Is it, Jeppe?

Is it the tattoos?

Look... Iook...

Would you like to sit down, Jeppe?

Would you like that?

Sit down.

You're allowed.

Good for you, meeting

such nice people, eh, Jeppe?

You'll really have a tale to tell

the other patients.

I have to use the cashpoint.

Would you mind keeping an eye

on my brother till I get back?

- Sure, that'd be OK.

- I'll only be ten minutes.

Watch that arm, Guv.

- Is he allowed to drink?

- Yeah.

- Easy does it.

- Cheers, Jeppe.

He may get beaten up,

you realize?

No, they don't hit retards.

They will if they discover

he's taking the piss.

He'll just have to play the part, then.

It'll do him good.

He may learn something.

Hey, Jeppe...

are you clocking Linda?

Eh? Have you taken a shine to Linda?

No... no...

Where the hell is he going?

... Hey, you!

Maybe he's just stretching his legs.

You've got to stay here.

- Where was he going?

- No idea.

Were you trying to escape from us?

- He needs a piss, that's what it is.

- He needs a piss.

Look...

Right, then.

Out with the bastard

so we can get it over with.

Not much going on there.

Of course.

They can't piss by themselves.

Maybe he needs a hand.

There.

- Right.

- Drain the spuds then.

Turn the tap on, it usually works.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

A man' got to go

when a man's got to go.

Not much action going on.

Come on.

Come on!

- And old trick.

- That's better.

Why are you washing his hands?

He never touched his dick.

I was beginning to think

you'd taken him for a chopper ride.

Maybe he'd like to ride Linda?

Say good-bye

and thank you to the kind people.

See you around.

Jeppe!

Come here! Jeppe!

Jeppe, damn it!

Come back!

Stoffer...

I thought you were horrid to Jeppe.

He's just being a dweeb.

He's always been like that.

Boring c*nt!

Sorry...

Though I don't know why.

What you did was really mean.

I don't get it.

It's so lovely here.

Why is there so much

getting at people?

- What good does it do?

- Hear that, Stoffer?

Karen says all this

is just for getting at people.

Hey, aren't you having a hard time!

Why do you stay here, then?

- Yes, I am a real f***ing bastard.

- Not compared to me.

You're not a bastard,

you're just egocentric.

I'm a bastard to everyone I know.

To Katrine, to my wife...

Oh, no!

You passed hard enough to spass

lranian caviar off the shelf?

- I've seen it, thanks.

- 180$? That's insane.

Crazy!

Why are you poking at it?

We're in Soelleroed, damn it.

At least eat it

the way they eat caviar in Soelleroed.

If you can spass with yoghurt

you can spass with caviar.

That's expensive stuff.

There are people starving...

There aren't any people starving.

... That's the whole trick.

- I'd like to borrow the phone.

- Stoffer, here's 70 bucks' worth.

Stoffer, there's a man from

Soelleroed Town Hall to see you.

From town hall?

Hello there.

I have a solution to your problem.

You have a solution to our problem?

What problem?

I don't know if

I've chosen the right words.

But to boil it down to its essence -

- we have an agreement with

a distinct across town, Hvidavre...

It might be advantageous to you.

Hvidavre?

I can't tell you officially

that I can promise you a grant

if you decide to transfer your

private home for the handicapped.

But the chances are good.

If we transfer our home

for the handicapped

from Soelleroed to Hvidavre,

we'll get a large sum of money?

- Not officially, but...

- But?

- Yes, you can count on it.

- You know what I think of that?

I think it's quite fantastic.

It's damned good of you.

Well, it's not me personally,

it's town hall.

Town hall thought out that

we'd run into financial problems...

Who doesn't?

And you drop in

like manna from heaven!

Hi, Miguel... say hello

to the man from town hall.

What's the matter with him?

He's suffering from delusions.

We've three Napoleons here.

- Does that still go on?

- Yes, sadly.

We've tried to eradicate it, but...

You can imagine how much

we spend on food alone.

What's he so sad about?

Miguel, can you tell the guy

from town hall why you're so sad?

Waterloo.

Waterloo?

We really appreciate

your coming all the way out here.

No! Axel, you're not pissing

on an official vehicle again?

I'm sorry:
have you any

jumper cables I could borrow?

Has he pissed on

an official vehicle again?

I'm really sorry.

He doesn't mean it personally.

It's a cure we have.

We call it the Soelleroed cure.

He's got to learn.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes