The Importance of Being Earnest Page #7

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without crying a little.

- But was our engagement broken off?

- Of course it was.

On the 22nd of last March.

You can see the entry, if you like.

"Today I broke off my engagement with

Ernest. I feel it is better to do so.

The weather still continues

charming."

But why on earth did you break it off?

What had I done?

I had done nothing at all.

Cecily, I am very much hurt indeed

that you broke it off,

particularly when the weather

was so charming.

But it would hardly have been

a really serious engagement...

if it hadn't been broken off

at least once.

But I forgave you

before the week was out.

What a perfect angel you are!

You won't ever break off

our engagement again, will you?

I don't think I could,

now that I've actually met you.

Besides, of course,

there is the question of your name.

Of course.

You mustn't laugh at me, darling,

but it had always been

a girlish dream of mine...

to love someone

by the name of Ernest.

There is something in that name that

seems to inspire absolute confidence.

Indeed, I pity any poor married woman

whose husband is not called Ernest.

But, my dear child,

do you mean to say...

that you couldn't love me

if I had some other name?

- But what name?

- Well, any name you like. Um...

Algernon, for instance.

But I don't like

the name of Algernon.

I... I really don't see why you should

object to the name of Algernon.

It... It's not a bad name at all.

In fact, it's rather

an aristocratic name.

Half the chaps who get into the

bankruptcy court are called Algernon.

But seriously, Cecily, if my name

was Algy, couldn't you love me?

I might respect you, Ernest.

I might admire your character.

But I fear that I should not be able

to give you my undivided attention.

Cecily, your vicar here is, I suppose,

thoroughly experienced...

in the practice of all the rites

and ceremonials of the church?

Oh, yes. Dr. Chasuble

is a most learned man.

I must see him at once on a most

important christen...

I mean, on most important business.

- I won't be more than half an hour.

- Ernest!

Considering that we have been engaged

since February the 22nd,

and that I only met you today

for the first time,

I think it is rather hard

that you should leave me...

for so long a period

as half an hour.

Couldn't you make it 20 minutes?

I'll be back in no time.

- Mr. Worthing.

- Good afternoon, Dr. Chasuble.

You will, I trust, excuse...

a postprandial relapse

into the arms of Morpheus.

In other words, 40 winks.

Dr. Chasuble, I suppose you know

how to christen all right?

I mean, of course, you are

continually christening, aren't you?

It is, I regret to say, one of

my most constant duties in this parish.

I've often spoken to the poorer

classes on the subject,

but they don't seem

to know what thrift is.

Is there any particular infant in whom

you're interested, Mr. Worthing?

- Yes.

- Of course... your brother.

- I beg your pardon?

- Your brother, I know,

is unmarried, but, uh...

Dr. Chasuble,

it is not for any child.

The fact is, I was thinking of getting

christened myself this afternoon,

if you've nothing better to do.

But surely, Mr. Worthing,

you've been christened already?

- I don't remember anything about it.

- Have you any grave doubts

on the subject?

Well, I certainly intend to have.

Unless, of course, you think

I'm a little too old now, hmm?

Oh, not at all.

Sprinkling and, indeed,

even the immersion of adults...

is a perfectly canonical practice.

- Immersion?

- You need have no apprehensions.

- Sprinkling is all that is necessary...

- Ah.

Or, indeed, I think, advisable.

Our weather... so changeable.

At what hour would you like

the ceremony performed?

I thought I would trot around

about 5:
00, if that would suit you.

Oh, perfectly, perfectly.

In fact, I have two similar ceremonies

to perform at that time.

A case of twins

that occurred recently...

in one of the... the outlying cottages

of your own estate.

Poor Jenkins, the carter.

A most hardworking man.

Well, I don't see much fun

in being christened

along with a lot of other babies.

It would be childish.

Would half past 5:00 do?

- Oh, admirably, admirably.

- Till half past 5:00, then.

- Come in.

Dr. Chasuble?

"What a perfect angel

you are, Cecily."

But that is where he knelt.

Yes, I am sure

that is where he knelt.

A Miss Fairfax has called

to see Mr. Worthing, miss.

On very important business,

Miss Fairfax states.

Isn't Mr. Worthing in the library?

Mr. Worthing went over in the direction

of the rectory some time ago, miss.

Pray ask the lady to come out here.

Mr. Worthing is sure to be back soon.

- And, Merriman, you may bring tea.

- Yes, miss.

Oh, dear.

One of the many good elderly women

associated with Uncle Jack...

in some of his philanthropic work

in London, I suppose.

Miss Fairfax.

Oh!

Miss Fairfax?

Pray let me introduce myself to you.

- My name is Cecily Cardew.

- What a very sweet name!

Something tells me

we're going to be great friends.

I like you already

more than I can say.

My first impressions of people

are never wrong.

How nice of you

to like me so much...

after we have known one another

for such a comparatively short time.

Shall we sit over there?

- I may call you Cecily, may I not?

- With pleasure.

And you will always call me

Gwendolen, won't you?

If you wish.

Then that's all quite settled,

is it not?

I hope so.

Cecily,

Mama, whose views on education

are remarkably strict,

has brought me up to be extremely

shortsighted. It's part of her system.

So... do you mind my looking at you

through my glasses?

Oh, not at all, Gwendolen.

I'm very fond of being looked at.

You are here on a short visit,

I suppose?

- Oh, no. I live here.

- Really?

Your mother, no doubt,

or some female relative

of advanced years resides here also?

Oh, no, I have no mother.

Nor, in fact, any relations.

I am Mr. Worthing's ward.

Oh.

It is strange he never mentioned to me

that he had a ward.

How secretive of him.

He grows more interesting hourly.

I am not sure, however,

that the news inspires me

with feelings of unmixed delight.

In fact, if I may speak

quite candidly...

Pray do.

I think that whenever one has

anything unpleasant to say,

one should always be quite candid.

Well, to speak

with perfect candor, Cecily,

I wish that you were fully 42...

and more than usually plain

for your age.

Ernest has a strong, upright nature.

I beg your pardon, Gwendolen.

Did you say Ernest?

Yes.

Oh, but it is not Mr. Ernest Worthing

who is my guardian.

It is his brother,

his elder brother.

Ernest never mentioned to me

that he had a brother.

I'm sorry to say that they have not been

on good terms for a long time.

Ah, that accounts for it.

Of course, you are quite...

quite sure that...

it is not Mr. Ernest Worthing

who is your guardian?

Quite sure.

In fact, I am going to be his...

I beg your pardon?

Dearest Gwendolen,

there is no reason...

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