The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Page #4

You have a savings bond here.

$200 that my nana gave to me.

Yea $200 in 1973

Today is worth...

$248

Burt?

Hello Nicole, how are you? Thats great.

I had to give up my suite...

So I was wondering if I might be able

to crash at your place for a couple of nights

Thats probably not a good idea.

Well heres the thing, I have not eaten in 24 hours,

because it turns out that room service does not deliver outside the hotel.

Yeah thats pretty standard.

I guess you could stay here for a night.

Do you know where I live?

I am in need of rabbit food anf bird seed.

Wow you really were hungry.

I almost ate one of my rabbits.

But their riddle with lice

Look at me Burt Wonderstone the greatest magician in the world.

sitting in this crummy little apartment eating slop.

What is this?

Its pan roasted tilapia with squash blossoms.

Horrible gruel, I'd imagine this is what prisoners eat.

I'll get it, let me get that.

Thank you.

Oh thats not...

OK.

Andale porfavor

Thats me and my grandmother she was a showgirl.

I use to come visit her in Vegas and that's when I 1st saw your show

with the golden nugget.

It so good.

I knew right then and there that I wanted to do magic.

Really?

Yes.

Do you know what time is it?

Its...

Very good, give it back please.

I already did.

Fine, you can do a little slight of hand.

Oh you wallet.

Oh god you really are broek $5?

I actually need that.

don't cumble it.

I have millions of ideas for tricks Burt.

Do you really think I wanted to be a magicians assisstant?

Yes.

No! Burt!

Make me your partner.

Poor sweet Nicole.

My name is Jane.

My act...

is incredible intricate. It is the product of years of studying and trainingand...

no offense but you are a girl.

You gotta be kidding me?

Not that girls can't do magic, its just that men are better at it.

You know what I don't want you staying here.

And I don't want to work with you.

What? Just because I said men are better than women?

I said no offense, therfore you can not be offended.

Legally.

When I saw you 10 years ago, you loved what you did.

I could feel it all the way in the back row and now your...

just a sad pathetic shell of what you once were.

and I don't want any part of it.

What are you doing?

Did I misread the situation?

Yes, badly, just get out!

Fine.

I have many options.

Great.

It's so small!

No i'm saying this bed is a size a dog would use or a small child.

I need a bigger bed.

This is your town Burt, tomorrow you take it back

Steve Win please.

Burt Wonderstone.

Do you know when he'll be out of the meeting?

Shhh, trying to talk to Steve Win.

Would you tell the Hilton family that Burt Wonderstone called.

Well can you have Mr. Trump call me back?

I don't care which Hilton Nickie will do.

Well can you have Mrs. Trump call me back?

Mr. Luxor please.

I don't understand.

I don't think so Burt, I'm not looking for a partner.

I've been a solo act for a million years and it's going pretty good.

David, how long have we been friends?

We're not friends.

But if we teamed up it could bring your career to the next level.

Well I have a star on the Hollywood walk of fame.

Imagine this...

"The Incredible Burt and David"

No.

Alright.

Thank you, I can make alot of liquid disappear...

but nothing makes liquid disappear better then Bounty paper towels.

They're the quicker picker-upper, 2 roles for $2.99.

Alright, Burt.

This should do it.

Thank you Terry, If I can do anything else for you, you have my card.

Got it.

My cell phone number is on there.

I will leave my ringer on vibrate.

"Escape to What?"

I'm sure you've seen people walk on red hot coals.

But I doubt you've seen anyone.

spend the night.

On red hot coals.

You know what I say when I see a bed of...

red hot coal?

Bring it!

Lucky guess!

Now what your smelling is not BBQ ladies and gentlemen.

It is my actual flesh.

Jesus!

See you in the morning!

Somebody get me a wake up call or I'll sleep right through!

under the 0 62.

This is the common room, where you will be doing the majority of your sh*t.

What kind of people end up here?

Well most of them were performers on the strip.

loud singers, strippers...

B-1 baby

celebrity impersonators

So this is where old entertainers go to and die.

And some not so old.

Hello, how are you?

Whats your name?

Grace.

Grace, I'm Burt.

Thats a lovely bracelet you have.

May I see that for a minute?

Take your time.

The clasps is in the back.

Yes.

Oh, there we go.

Ooh, thank you.

Now watch this.

Where did it go?

I don't know.

My grand daughter gave that to me.

What have you done?

No, Its right here.

I have it, I have it, Its right here.

Oh.

I'm a magician.

I should have explained it to you earlier.

Oh my god.

Its alright.

So Earl, if you could do me a kindness and select 1 card only from this deck.

He's forcing it on you.

Show the cards to the other but do not show me the card.

Don't do it, hes a hack.

Put the card back in the deck do not show me the card.

I will cut the deck once.

He already knows that card.

Is this your card?

No.

Really hmmm thats odd.

Part of the bid is you got to guess wrong twice

and then tell you the card is in your pocket.

Thank you sir for ruining the trick.

Thank you for being so terrible.

Hey pal, cartigan.

What's your problem?

I don't have a problem but you do.

Your shower shuffle is sloppy.

Your lips move when you do the Elmsley count.

and your pattern is boring and sad.

You want to try to dazzle people

not put them to sleep for God's sake.

Really what else?

People want to think what they're seeing is real magic

not a magic show.

If you don't believe what your doing

how are they going to believe it?

You got no joy in you son.

You got no passion.

You may have seen these tricks a thousand times before

but they haven't.

Oh my God.

Your Rance Holloway.

I had your magic kit as a kid, your the reason I became a magician.

I'll give you your money back.

Well I don't think you understand.

I am Burt Wonderstone.

I gather from that, I'm suppose to pass

out now?

Well I head lineded Ballys for the past 10 years.

I'm very very famous.

Well I quit the business and I don't read the trades.

And I'm late for my coma.

Perhaps we could just talk for a couple of minutes.

Bye.

This could win it!

Tonight on the "Brain Rapist"

Will there be blood?

And that brings us to our profile tonight.

A man who left behind the glits and glamour of Las Vegas stardom.

to follow a different path.

His name is Anton Marvelton.

"Combodia"

I started operation "Presto" because I saw

how much suffering there was in the world.

I got to the places were the children have neither food, nor clean water...

And I give them magic.

And you also give them food and clean water?

Well no, I'm a magician I bring magic.

H kids!

Here you go.

Thats for you.

Here you go young man.

and for you.

Lets see that smile.

Don't worry I have plenty for everybody.

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