The Incredible Jessica James Page #8

---

Oh, thank you. You remembered.

That's very nice.

Look, I am really sorry.

What are you talking about? It...

You don't need to apologize for anything.

No, you told me early on

you were still trying to figure stuff out

and I guess I just didn't listen, and...

Ah.

You know, for what it's worth,

I, uh, I called,

and got my Windsurfing Magazine

redirected to my place.

Oh, good.

- So...

- Yeah.

But what about those feelings?

Oh, also redirected.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, yes, I am.

How do you know?

Well, for one,

you know how I used to obsess

about everything she did online?

I do.

Now, the only page I refresh is yours.

Come on.

Oh, that sounded better in my head.

I, um...

- Try this.

- What is this?

That is every single play

that I've ever written.

Ever.

- Holy sh*t, it's heavy.

- I know.

I got a lot of thoughts and feelings,

and I have for a really long time.

I can't wait to read it.

Take your time.

And, uh...

You know, no need to rush.

- I'm gonna start.

- Okay, wait, wait. Slow down.

Okay, I'm gonna go, and...

thank you for the tea.

Here you go, thank you.

- Oh! Why, hello there, sunshine.

- What's up, hoochie?

What are you doing here? What's going on?

Nothing. I'm just going to London.

Okay, what for?

I've been invited

by the Donmar Warehouse Theater

to teach

at a children's playmaking workshop

and direct a stage reading

of one of my plays.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, congratulations!

- Thank you.

- Oh!

Uh, anyway, I got you something.

Wait, are you kidding me? For me?

- I should be getting you a present.

- No, but...

You know how I pretty much moved here

to escape my family?

Yes, you and everybody else

who moved here.

Well, I got more than I bargained for.

I love you.

And you're the first person

I wanted to tell

as soon as I find out the news.

Aw.

Oh, my God. It's an Ola.

It's beautiful.

It captures and replays

your vibration patterns.

I can't believe it.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry.

Please don't cry.

You know I hate to show emotion

in public spaces.

Oh, Jessica.

Ew.

- Thank you.

- Of course.

Okay, everybody, listen up!

Free coffee all around,

in honor of the incredible Jessica James,

whose amazing work is going to be read

by the Donmar Warehouse Theater

- in London.

- Yes.

Bangers and mash

Gonna get bangers and mash

- Yes, gonna get bangers and mash

- Bangers and mash

- Yes, gonna get bangers and mash

- Bangers and mash and this

Wait a minute.

Are you telling me

that you're a mermaid, too?

No.

Not a mermaid.

I'm a merman!

Oh.

Cool.

Hello.

My name is Banana McClain,

and today is my birthday.

I told my parents

that I wanted a puppy for my birthday,

but I'd also be happy with a turtle.

We're on our way to the pet store now.

I hope they don't try

and get me a goldfish.

Goldfish are no fun.

You can't pet or hug a goldfish.

I'm not sure

if you can pet or hold a turtle,

but at least turtles have personalities.

I think it's important for a pet

to have a personality.

Which is why I want a puppy.

They seem like they would be nice,

and loyal, and fun.

Of course, I guess there was a chance

I won't get a pet at all.

And you know what? That's okay, too.

Because birthdays aren't

about getting things.

They're about celebrating what you have,

and what I have is pretty great.

Because it's a beautiful day

and I'm with the two people

I love the most.

And later, we're having cake.

And I love cake.

You're okay. You're okay.

Thank you so much for coming.

Hey, so good.

You guys were so good.

You were great. You were so good.

Of course. Hi.

- Hey, Jessica.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

You freaking killed it.

- You really think so?

- Yeah.

I wasn't too over the top?

No, you were perfect.

Thank you.

I thought it was such a great character.

Thank you so much for casting me.

No, you... You were amazing.

You're so good.

Uh-oh.

- What?

- Don't look behind you. Don't, don't.

- What do you mean?

- Just keep cool.

- Hi.

- Hi.

You've got this.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Yeah, well, you know,

I know how much this means to you.

That's...

How are you?

- Good.

- Good?

I'm good, yeah. You?

- Good.

- Good.

It's nice to see you.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hm.

Well, it's nice to see you, too.

We should get tea sometime.

Tea sounds great to me.

You're a really good guy, Damon.

I know?

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

I'm all right.

I'll call you.

I'll answer. Good to see you.

- See you.

- See you.

It seemed like a positive interaction.

Did you know he was gonna be here?

- I had no idea. It was a surprise.

- I'm sorry.

I could have warned you.

He posted it on Twitter three days ago.

You could probably stop following him

on social media, by the way.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Are you sure you're ready for that?

I guess so.

Well, I guess, you should probably

stop following my ex as well, then.

I don't know if I can.

- The food photos?

- She really knows how to handle a banana.

Hey, I, uh, I read your plays.

- All of them already?

- Every page.

And?

You're a very complicated person.

I know. I'm sorry.

No, don't...

You never need to apologize for that.

There are so many other things

you can apologize for.

Oh, my gosh. I forgot to tell you.

- I am going to London.

- What?

The Donmar Theater wants to do

a stage reading of one of my plays.

That sounds prestigious.

Yeah, I know.

It's like kind of a big deal.

Nice!

Good job.

- Have you ever been to London?

- No, I haven't. How is it?

Oh, it's the best.

You're gonna have such a great time.

You know, I, um...

I have a ton of frequent flier miles.

You know, just if you wanted

to bring someone with you

to show you around the town.

How does it work?

- How does what work?

- Frequent flier miles.

Dude, I can't believe your boyfriend

bought us tickets to London.

Okay, who said anything about him

being my boyfriend?

Wait. What are you talking about?

This is like the most romantic gesture

I have ever seen.

Yeah, it's dope.

But it takes more than a couple

of roundtrip tickets to London

for somebody to be my boyf.

That is so boss.

- What is so boss?

- Uh, Jessica.

Oh, yeah, duh.

Flight attendants,

please fasten your seat belts

and prepare for takeoff.

It was really cool of your parents

to let you come with us to the workshop.

Well, it was really cool of your boyfriend

to get me a ticket, too.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sister.

Just because a guy buys a lady

a couple of roundtrip tickets to London

does not make him her boyfriend.

Did you know that I introduced them?

You know, I like your jumpsuit.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's pretty badass, right?

Hm. Yeah, it is.

Rate this script:3.0 / 3 votes