The Inspector General

Synopsis: An illiterate stooge in a traveling medicine show wanders into a strange town and is picked up on a vagrancy charge. The town's corrupt officials mistake him for the inspector general whom they think is traveling in disguise. Fearing he will discover they've been pocketing tax money, they make several bungled attempts to kill him.
Director(s): Henry Koster
Production: Warner Bros.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Rotten Tomatoes:
89%
APPROVED
Year:
1949
102 min
413 Views


- I have to see the Mayor.

- He's in a council meeting and he

can't be disturbed.

- I demand that you let me through.

- I've ridden all night, 80 miles.

That's the orders.

Get out of my way.

Stop! I said STOP!

- I must see the Mayor.

- But the Mayor is in council meetings.

-Let go of me. You'll be sorry, I'm a

relavtive of the Mayor's.

- So am I, so is the whole council.

Where's the council room? Cousin Bryo.

- Stop making so much noise,

they're in a meeting.

- What is all this commotion?

Counsin Gregor, cousin Bryo.

- This is my cousin, the Mayor of Trebin.

- I'm sorry, this man he tried to...

- Come in here.

- Counsin Gregor.

- I've been riding all night. It's a disaster.

- Come and sit down. Fetch brandy and water.

-No water....

-Come on, tell what's happened. Speak up.

Like thunder, he appeared among us.

The postmaster was hanged, and the

chief of police was let off with 200 lashes.

I was sentenced to the firing squad.

Lucky for me, the rifles blew up and I escaped.

- I need a fresh horse. I must be off at once.

- A fresh horse for our cousin.

Sit down, sit down.

- I must go. Even now, he may be

here in your midst. - Who?

- Speak up man, who?

- The Inspector General.

Yes, he has full power from the Emporer himself.

And where ever he finds bribery and coruption,

that's where the gallows and firing squads go to work.

- More!

- What does he look like, this Inspector General?

Who knows? A man of mystery.

Five days he was in our midst and

no one even suspected it.

He went everywhere, saw

everything and uncovered such

coruption that even I was shocked.

- Now don't get excited.

- Don't get excited! How I envy

you, secure in your clean town and fear no one.

- The horse is ready, Uncle Byro.

I must be off.

- Oh Gregor, where will you go?

Far away anywhere, Africa, China...

Good-bye cousin Byro.

Farewell Uncle.

Good-bye cousin.

Do you need any money?

I have a few crowns.

Thank-you.

City Funds.

Farewell.

I would like to take this opportunity

to tend to my resignation.

SIT DOWN! What would you do?

Go back to rolling pills in that stink

shop of a chemist?

- I promised my wife.......

- I have to talk to my sister.....

STAY WHERE YOU ARE! Nothing

is to be gained by rushing around blindly.

We must proceed according to

system. You Lazlo, clean up the square.

You Toleki. Get the children back

into school. Start teaching them

something, anything.

You two deliver the mail, all of it,

whether you've read it or not.

- I never read the mail.

- Yes you did, don't you remember?

Kovak, come back here.

I want all roads policed day and night.

I want a report of everyone

who's entered this town in the past 24 hours.

Check the tavern. lnvestigate all

strangers. Bring your reports to me

personally, do you understand?

- es, but first I would like to.....

- First you will obey orders. Now

get out of here.

Thank-you.

Order double guards at the city

gates and patrol all roads to Brodny at once.

AT ONCE!

- Come with me.

- What goes with Uncle General?

I said come with me.

- Anything wrong.

- Quiet.

Quiet you.

I shall investigate here. You men

go on to the next town.

Countrymen approach. Step up,

step up. Come close for the

greatest experience of your life.

You will tell your children and

grandchildren about this.

First you will be entertained by the

greatest musicians in the country

right from the court of the Emporer.

Yakov's exlixsir, the best that can

be had. Yakov's elixsir is good for

what is bad.

Now my good people, step closer

so that you may see with your own eyes.

I Yakov Guli, positioned to Princes

and crown heads come among you to...

exhibit absolutely free of charge the

wonder of the world and parellel

since the dawn of time.

Are you ready my friends? The

Egyptian marvel, the treasure of the

Pharohs. Behold!

- tep right up people. Examine, observe.

- You there! Who are you? Let me

see your peddlar card.

Here you go Captain. Yakov Guli.

An honest professional man from Pribirk.

I have testimonials from the Emporer himself.

- Never mind.

- What about your friend there?

Who him?

Captain, don't run away, come

back. We welcome all investigations.

Look my friends. It lives, it breathes.

It laughs, it cries, it thinks.

Watch his left ear. How much is 2 + 2?

Correct! This is not just an old

head. This is Prince Ahmed of ancient Egypt.

Beheaded by the cruel Pharoh,

because of his forbidden love for

the crown Princess.

And now my friends you ask

yourselves, How has this miracle

survived for over 2000 years?

An excellent question. Only this.

Yakov's Golden Elixsir.

Look how his eyes plead with me to

give him a dose of my elixsir.

He really yearns for its richness.

I am a simple man my friends. I do

not make extravagant claims for my medicine.

If a person is already dead, for instance...

there is only a slim chance that my

medicine will do him any good.

But if only a spark of life remains....

Yakov's Golden Elixsir will fan it into

a roaring fire of health.

How can Yakov cheat those poor people

like that? Why what's the matter? Well

this is the furniture polish he sold yesterday?

Come on, hurry up. He's almost through.

- No, you don't wear this.

- Here is the testimonials from my

grateful customers.

Even from the great Napoleon

himself, written on the battlefield of Austerlitz.

He gives the elixsir full credit for the victory.

For years I've suffered terrible

digestive depress."

However since taking Yakov's

mircle elilxsir, I no longer find it

necessary to.....

continuously hold my hand on my

stomach."

Kindest personal regards:

Napoleon."

But why do I tell you these things

my friends when there is someone here....

a sufferer on whom I've looked with

compassion when he lay on death's door.

Unable to move a muscle.

Paralyzed!

Friend, are you aware that you are

losing your hair?

Do you need money? Have you

been on a diet?

Are you bothered by quiet?

Quiet.....QUIET!

Nice dancer that fellow.

Do you get colds, or prickly heat, a

burning brow, blazing feet, a

leaping pulse...

or Hic-cups? Do you get Hic-cup?

A touch of laryngitis, asthama, or

appendincitis, or hic-cups......

or hic......cups.

Or measles, a diagnosis of

phycosis...

Have you ever been short of breath?

Well, cheer up, cheer up, cheer up.

No matter how bad your condition.

I have news that will tickle your ears.

- I was dead.

- Dead?

Well, pretty sick.

Til I saw a famous physician, who

hadn't seen a patient in years.

He was near-sighted.

He said, hello young man, you are

possibly the plumber.

I'm a patient Dr. Hummer. Dr.

Hummer said, hhhhmmmmmm.

Dr. Hummer said hmmmmm, with a

C. Dr. Cinger. Dr. Cinger said

aaaaaahhh.

You have something with your nose

and something with your sneezes.

Tell me young man.

You've had some diseases? Have I had.....

When I was one I had a.....

When I was two I had a..

When I was three I had..

By the time I was four...

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Philip Rapp

Philip Rapp (March 26, 1907 – January 23, 1996) was a film and television director and screenwriter. He wrote for Eddie Cantor and for a brief period, wrote film scripts for Danny Kaye. Rapp is perhaps best known as the creator of Baby Snooks and The Bickersons. Rapp died on January 23, 1996 in Beverly Hills, California. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Inspector General" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_inspector_general_20525>.

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