The Interestings Page #5

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went to Boy Scout Camp.

I can't remember a single name.

Then again, no one at Camp Nayaki

exactly stood out.

Except

- maybe this one kid...

- [laugh]...

Who could burp for ten straight minutes

without barfing.

- [laughing]

- Ten straight minutes?

And you forgot his name?

How the great are soon forgotten.

Chris Gunther. That was his name.

Like that guy you're

always bugging me to read:

"Gunther" Grass.

Oh, forget about it, Dennis,

unless you're Jonesing for a

600-page book about a German child

with an unhealthy

attachment to a toy drum

and a voice that can shatter glass.

Wow. Ha ha.

- I guess I'll miss it.

- [laughter]

Unless Ethan makes it

into an animated movie.

So, Dennis, Jules says

you are an ultrasound technician.

Yes, I am.

That sounds pretty cool.

How'd you get into that?

I just sort of fell into it, actually.

After college,

I didn't really know

what I wanted to do.

I saw this ad on the subway

about becoming a lab technician.

Seemed like something

I could be good at.

- Huh.

- You make it sound

like you just flipped a coin, Dennis.

You must have given it a

little more thought than that.

Not really.

Do you like it?

I do, actually. Yes.

The other techies are great.

We got our own basketball team.

The doctors are cool.

Also, it's in Chinatown.

It's surrounded by all

these amazing vendors.

I like to cook, so sometimes

on my way home I pick up these really...

bizarre ingredients like...

star anise or, like, these twisted roots

that look like wizard's hands.

- Yeah.

- How's your job, Jonah?

When are you going to give that all up

and go back in the family business?

His mother's Corinna Dey.

Oh. Right. Jules was telling me

about what an amazing musician you are.

I would love to hear you play some time.

Yeah. Well, I guess

she forgot to mention

that was in a former life.

Yeah, actually, I design

tech innovations for the disabled.

I just can't understand

how you could walk away

from so much talent.

Your music was such a part of you.

A part.

Not the only part.

You could have been a huge star.

Really, you should have heard him.

Dennis:
There's more to

life than being famous.

At least I hope so,

or the rest of us are screwed.

Besides, I don't think

recognition has that

much to do with happiness.

Like we say at the clinic,

it's what's inside that counts.

Words of wisdom from the

ultrasound technician.

Excuse me. I have to use the restroom.

That was funnier in my head.

He's great, Jules.

You're an a**hole, but he is great.

F***!

Some fancy moves.

Thank you.

[basketball players shouting]

You didn't return any of my phone calls.

My friends really liked you.

At this point, it's safe to say

they like you a lot

more than they do me.

I'm so sorry, Dennis.

I was awful to you at dinner.

I don't even know what came over me.

- I just...

- I do.

I'm not the right guy for you, Jules.

You want this...

big life.

And you deserve it,

and you deserve the right guy

to go along with it.

And that guy just isn't me.

- Dennis...

- Let me finish, Jules.

I'm regular.

You know?

And you're...

Irregular?

Special.

Big dreams.

I'm just an ordinary guy, Jules.

I'm never going to read Gnter Grass.

I looked it up.

I can't offer you this

extraordinary life,

just a real one.

But... I don't know

if that's going to be enough for you.

I don't think that life with me

is the life that you want.

I don't think you should settle.

You know what I really want, Dennis?

I want to be like you.

I do.

I want to be able to walk

into a room full of strangers

and just be okay with myself,

to feel like who I am is good enough.

The thing is the only time

I've ever felt like that

is when I'm with you.

So to me, real is looking

pretty extraordinary right now.

Here.

It's the "Hoya Destroya."

I feel like anyone who leads Georgetown

to three final fours

deserves to be immortalized in plastic.

You're not the only one

with an encyclopedia.

You look like a famous actress, Mommy.

Oh.

Well, thank God I'm not

because they're all

miserable and unhappy.

Money does not buy you happiness.

Remember that.

All right, go wash up for supper, huh?

Wow.

You look amazing.

That's quite some dress.

Thanks.

I got it at Alice's Underground.

- It was practically brand-new.

- [sigh]

I figured if I was going

to go to this thing,

I might as well get in the spirit.

Ash owes me big time.

This is...

I can't believe she

still hasn't told Ethan

about her brother.

That they've lived with this

gigantic lie between them

all this time.

It's shocking.

We may have our problems,

but at least what we

have isn't built on lies.

I'm going to get better, Jules.

I know.

You'll figure it out.

Prozac isn't for everyone.

I don't want to lose you.

[intercom buzzes]

[buzz]

Hello.

Ethan:
Your date has arrived.

I'll be right down.

A limo. Wow.

Beats the subway.

Oh, they're perks he's given.

I don't think he really

cares about them that much.

- Um...

- Have fun.

Of course I know how much

you'd rather stay home

and play "Legend of the

Sword and the Fairy."

I would, actually.

I'm not really looking that forward

to a bunch of bloated,

self-important people

congratulating themselves

on how rich and successful they are.

You could have said no.

I should go. He's waiting.

I love you.

I love you, too.

I'll tell you all

about it in the morning.

Mm. Sorry.

Your chariot awaits, my lady.

Wow. I mean, look at you.

You look like a fairy princess.

[cartoon music]

Yes.

Oh, my God. Ethan, this is amazing.

This could be in a movie theater

or on TV right now.

Seriously, Ethan, it's brilliant.

It's just so smart

and original, you know?

Thanks.

See, I knew...

I knew you'd get it, that we...

That we shared a certain sensibility

and that you might like it.

- [laughing]

- I love it.

Wow.

What do you know?

Jules Jacobson loves it.

Mm-mm. Uh, what...

What are you doing?

I'm s... I'm sorry. I...

- I... I just...

- No. It was my fault.

- Wow.

- Forget it, really.

- I... I...

- It's fine.

I feel terrible.

No, no, no, no. You've nothing

to feel terrible about, Jules.

[door opens]

It's not a big deal.

[door closes]

Look, look, seriously,

I don't want this to come between us.

People have been

rejected by other people

since the dawn of time.

W-W-We're...

We're just riding the wave of history.

I've never rejected

anyone before in my life,

although I've never accepted

anyone before, either.

What I mean is it's never come up.

Well, maybe the reason

that you don't want to do this with me

isn't even because of me.

What do you mean?

Well, you say that you haven't accepted

or rejected anyone before, right?

So you are 100% inexperienced.

Maybe you're just nervous.

Your nervousness could be

masking your real feelings.

Uh, maybe.

It happens to girls sometimes.

I... I have a proposition for you.

Just reconsider.

Spend some more time with me

and see what happens.

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