The Internship Page #10

You definitely got

my attention.

Okay, I want to go

put my robe on now.

Enough to do research on you.

What did we find out?

Let's see.

Your company was shut down, your

home was foreclosed upon...

...your credit score

is actually negative.

That's kind of amazing, Billy.

That's hard to do.

You try hard, McMahon.

I'll give you that.

But things never quite

work out for you, do they?

I could waste my energy

trying to beat you.

But it seems, given enough time,

you always find a way to fail.

I just need to get

out of your way.

So this is me going.

Only two challenges remain.

After which, a mere

handful of you

will be offered

full-time employment.

The next challenge is Manning

the Google helpline.

This is one of the most

difficult jobs we have...

...combining both customer

relations and product fluency.

You will be judged on both.

This...

...is a very tight

race right now.

I suggest you study up.

Okay, let's drill

it and kill it.

Authorization failure

with Google Drive. Neha.

Permission's probably changed.

Request access.

Barn! Chrome connectivity.

Nick.

Unselect proxy

server for your LAN.

Nice! Billy, I'm locked out

of my Google Wallet account.

Is that under Gmail

or Wallet Help?

"I don't know, sir. That's kind

of what I called you for."

Look, I'm terrific on phones. I can

sell prosciutto to a rabbi, and I have.

But you're not

selling anything.

You can't bullshit your

way through this one.

The only way to nail this

challenge is to study.

Then study up is what

I'm going to do.

Let me ask you, is there a

blanket statement I could say...

...that could apply to

literally anything?

And then I either

shove product down

their face or give

them another hotline.

You're tech support, so if you

refer them to another number...

...your phone will ring again, 'cause

it's your number you referred to.

I'm suggesting, give me the blanket

thing, so I'm not wrong or right...

...then I either hit them with a real

helpline or push some product on them.

I can shove product

down their throat.

You're working too hard. All you have

to do is click the button and read.

I got it.

Bam! Done. Read it.

I got it. I'll do it.

That's my man, Bill.

You'll get it.

Is it just me, or is

this food incredible?

You're a liar.

What?

You were supposed

to be an a**hole.

Come on!

You were supposed

to pack a decade of

jerks and bad dates

into one night.

Remember?

Now I remember, yes.

But so far you've been...

totally fine.

Totally fine?

Wah-wah.

I have dropped the ball. I

promised that and didn't deliver.

Can we get the check, please?

May we get the check...

Jennifer?

How'd you know my...?

It says right here on

this little necklace.

And now I have the name,

how about the number?

Oh, I'm just kidding. Or

maybe I'm not kidding.

You're so cute. Beautiful.

Did you just hit

on the waitress?

I did, yes! The lady

asked for a jerk

and I am trying to

live up to my promise.

I said ten years of a**holes.

You have some ground to cover.

I think you've had

enough dessert.

I've been watching

you eat all night.

I'll take care of this. You

have to watch your figure...

and you're right

on the borderline.

You know what they say,

"A moment on the lips,

forever on the hips."

Mmm! This is divine! Oh, you do

not know what you are missing.

That's nice.

Here's something you aren't missing...

the check. I paid for the cab.

Bullshit! Right?

Wow, a little heart

and everything.

Why don't you take

care of that?

The night is still young. I'm

taking you to see some dogfights.

Rock and roll! I think

we're up to five years.

All right.

I'll get this.

Oh!

That's amazing!

"In Gmail, a 'bad request'

message shows if..."

"...shows if..."

"...your Internet is down."

Son of a b*tch!

It shows...

Jesus Christ! You scared

the sh*t out of me!

...If your browser has a

bad or outdated cookie.

Wait, you could... Hmm?

Yes, I can hear everything. I'm not

actually listening to anything.

It allows me to be with myself.

I'm not very good

with other humans.

I'm not very good

with Gmail support.

No, actually, you're

quite horrible.

You can do this.

This can be learned.

But those kids...

...the way they look at you...

you have a way with people.

That's a lost art.

Go again.

Go again.

"In Chrome..."

For you, this is like teaching a

little kid the alphabet, right?

No, actually, it's like teaching

a kid a letter. Just one letter.

Your strong point would not

be communicating to humans.

I know.

All right, that's my guy.

Give it to me straight.

I like it. No chaser.

We're having fun.

I am. I hope you are.

Well, thank you. That

was really awful.

Ah! You're welcome.

I aim to please.

I told you I'd deliver

on ten years of

a**holes. I think I did

a pretty good job.

A little bit too

convincing at times.

Was it? That doesn't

surprise me.

When you've been out

there as long as

I have, you learn

to play the game.

Oh, I'd be out there, laying my rap.

I'd have

girls literally thinking

I was an astronomer.

I'd be pointing out

constellations and harvest moons.

"Oh, there's Pluto!"

Then they'd start to fact

check you with the Internet.

Google singlehandedly cut

into my ability to bullshit.

Cramping your style?

Big time.

Making you a better person?

True. Ninety percent

Google, ten percent you.

Just ten percent? Really?

Let's call it twenty percent.

You know, um...

...I really didn't

expect to like you.

I didn't think you'd

like me, either.

Thank you.

That was my ride home.

I know.

Good morning. Welcome

to the Google Helpline.

You will man the phones for one hour.

Before you begin...

I'm so ready for this thing.

I was up all night studying.

This is where Lyle takes the lead.

...The log file icon,

accessing your account,

so we can review

your work later.

The Helpline...

...is open.

Google Helpline. My name's Billy.

How can I help you?

So you're locked

out of your Gmail.

Well, the good news

is Uncle Bill here...

...has a key under the mat.

I'm going to play a hunch here.

Delete all your cookies.

Did that work? Great.

You probably have too many

Gmails open at the same time.

Go ahead and close

a couple and...

Okay, great. Thank you.

Call with anything else.

Not a problem. You want to

click on the gear icon,

then Settings, then

Advanced Settings.

Yeah, you can have the same tabs

open across all your devices.

So the browser

windows keep opening

and you're telling me

that's from Amazon?

You need anti-virus software.

Let's fix that before the wife gets home...

am I making sense?

Sign into Google Wallet and

update your credit card.

That's the problem.

Switching time zones

causes a Calendar

sync issue. Are

you on vacation?

Miami, nice.

Let's get your cache

cleared up, then I'll

talk you through the best

Cuban spots in town.

Google Helpline,

this is Graham.

Your device isn't compatible

with Google Play.

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