The Internship Page #9

I mean, that was amazing!

Not in like a sexual way.

Kind of in a sexual way.

You're very talented. Everything you

do is special is what I'm saying.

I'm just so embarrassed.

You're emb... Are you kidding?

Now we're even...

...because dancing in

your class at Google was

one of the most embarrassing

moments of my life.

If it helps, I don't remember

anything specifically awful.

Oh, poop. You don't remember.

That means we're not even.

There's only one very

unfortunate way to fix that.

Oh?

That is burned in my memory.

You can stop.

How about I stop if and only

if I can buy you a drink?

I would love that.

Yeah? Shots? Yeah.

Yes. Shots. Shots.

I love teaching at Google,

but it's only part-time

and doesn't cover my

tuition, so I augment.

No, don't augment. You're

perfect the way you are!

Can I get a dance?

Not now. Look, b*tch...

...I don't know

who this geek is,

but I spent a shitload

of dinero here,

and I expect to nut.

Yeah, no, I'm totally

a geek, Biff Tannen.

Who's Biff Tannen?

You're Biff from "Back

to the Future", right?

Want to take this outside?

No, I'd rather stay here and

talk to the pretty girl.

Let's rock, not talk.

Hey, man.

Is there a problem?

It looks like somebody needs

their way older brothers

to fight for him, huh?

Oh, it's the United

Colors of Nerd!

Do you all work together?

I'm going to go out on a limb

and say it's a tech company.

Free cereal and ugly people.

Oh! Whoa! Hey!

Come on, take it easy! Is

this the Jets and the Sharks?

Why don't you guys

head that way

and we'll head that way and

never the twain shall meet.

Have a great night.

That's a good idea.

My mother hits harder than you!

Down goes stranger!

What's up? Oh, sh*t.

If I see you again,

I'll kill you!

Hide your kids!

Hide your wife!

That's how you party!

We're too hot to party! That's

why they got to kick us out!

'Cause they're gonna call

the fire department!

Bring it outside to party!

Look at that view!

You're not gonna see that

on your 4-inch screen.

You got to look up.

Buddy, you were an animal

out there tonight!

You were. Did you

have a good time?

Yeah, it was all right.

"It was all right."

Why do you do that?

What do you mean? Do what?

Lowball me like that! I'm

not going to take away...

...your cool guy card if

you admit you give a sh*t

about something or, God

forbid, had a great time.

Um... All right, it was fun.

Stewie...

What? Come on!

You want me to say it was

the best night of my life?

Only if it's true.

Okay, it was the best

night of my life.

My Noogler! Come here!

My Noogler.

I don't believe there

hasn't been one boyfriend.

Nope. That's embarrassing.

It's nothing to be embarrassed of.

You have plenty of time.

I mean, you're the

whole package.

You're beautiful. You're smart.

You have great teeth.

You do. Unbelievable choppers

on the old girl, I mean it!

And terrific shoes. I'm

always excited to see

what kind of get-up you're

going to throw together.

That part's true.

It is true. A lot of

great things going on.

Some guy will find himself

very lucky to be next to you.

I'm not so sure.

Well, I am.

And I've been around

a little bit.

I'm positive.

Hot thing, hot thing Hot

thing, what up with it?

Lyle! Looks like you hit it

off with Saffron tonight.

I'm texting her that I love her

and sending a picture

I just took...

...of little Lyle when he

made pee in the bushes.

Look, he's winking.

Lyle, that's a horrible idea.

Don't do that.

You're drunk off your ass.

I appreciate your concern,

but I'm flying, baby.

Lyle, you're not flying.

Look, what's 17 squared?

289, why?

Give me a harder

question than that.

Try, uh, maybe square

root of seventeen.

4.23 maybe?

That's the app. That's

the app we should do.

A quiz question you

have to answer before

you can send a drunk text or

a drunk email or phone call.

Something to protect

you from yourself.

That's good. Can we do that?

Hells, yeah!

Are you shitting me?

I could program

the sh*t out of that

on the bus ride home.

I'll take that as an overwhelming yes!

Come on!

Let's get back to HQ!

Wait.

Let's stay five more minutes.

Enjoy the view a little more.

All right.

Wow. Yeah.

The whole world looks like

a giant pinwheel of death.

Price of making

memories, Stewie.

I think my liver hurts.

Astonishingly, your app...

received ten times more downloads

than any other team's.

It appears you won

your first challenge.

How about it?!

Congratulations.

Come on, baby!

The lead!

Oh, easy there, big guy.

He gets overexcited.

Lovely.

Let it out.

Let it out, little feller.

Our Professor X was way

meaner than this guy.

It wasn't funny at the time.

What I'm doing is supercharging

my CSS and HTML skills...

...'cause you can do

both simultaneously.

HTML5, right?

That's one step beyond

the HTML5 they mentioned

the other day with

the CSS3, remember?

No.

When writing code,

you have your choice

of a number of

editors, such as...

Emacs, nano and vi, of course.

What does that mean?

They have syntax highlighting

and autocomplete. Questions?

It occurred to me,

why not use Emacs

rather than vi as the

default editor for Ubuntu?

That's actually a very

good thought, Nick.

Thank you.

Vi versus Emacs is a constant debate.

Moving on.

Sammy!

Did you forget an insult?

Billy, you magnificent son of a b*tch!

How's unemployment?

Come work for me.

Sammy, I thought you retired.

I did, Nicky, but I have stumbled

onto King Solomon's Mines.

Two words:
Motorized scooters.

Go to Modesto, check

out old age homes.

Ah, Sammy, we have a gig.

We have a new gig.

We're interns at Google.

Interns at Google?

Who are you kidding?

You're salesmen!

This is a sales gig.

It's a job.

We've had jobs. We're

building a future.

And I'm trying to get hard on my

own, but the Cialis is a guarantee.

You finish this "internship",

who knows what will happen?

Exactly. Who knows

what will happen?

That's what I said. Why

are you repeating me?

Shh! Time for baby

to go night-night.

Billy, you're cutting out.

That felt great.

I'll catch up with

you later, okay?

Okay. See you in a bit.

If this is being a workaholic,

maybe I should get a glass.

I have fifteen minutes

until my next meeting.

You know how we were talking

about regret, and...

You were talking about regret.

I don't want to add

not asking you out to

that list, because that

credit card is maxed out.

So can we establish you are, in

fact, asking me out on a date?

Yes. And I figure I'm such

a Mountain of mistakes

that going out with me

just once this evening...

...will be like

packing ten years of

bad experiences into one night.

Okay. Fine.

Yes? I'm saying yes.

Great. I'm in.

I'll leave you to it.

Okay. Tonight.

Hello, William.

I've been watching you.

You should choose your words

more carefully in a bathhouse.

In the words of Nelly:

"It's gettin' hot in herre."

It's getting hot

out there, too.

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