The Italian Job

- Cheerio, lads!

- Quiet, Croker! You're not out yet.

- Sorry, sir.

- Good luck, Charles.

Remember me to the old woman!

- I will, Harry, I will.

- Say hello to the big world.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye, Mr Bridger.

- He said, "Goodbye, Mr Bridger."

- Well, he's going.

As long as he doesn't come back.

That's all I care.

They say

he's going to do a job in ltaly.

I hope he likes spaghetti.

They serve it four times a day

in ltalian prisons.

Well, you're the last person

I expected to see, Lorna.

Oh, Charlie,

I've been counting the days.

Yeah? Well, why didn't you come

and see me when I was inside?

Charlie, you know

that's not my scene.

Sitting holding your hands

across the table,

with those weeping wives around

with their howling kids,

the guards looking at me as if

something's hidden up my dress.

- I did miss you, Charlie.

- Yeah?

Erm... I, erm... made an appointment

for you to go to the tailor first.

Then on to the shirtmaker...

This car belongs

to the Pakistani ambassador.

- It does?

- Typical, isn't it?

Out of jail five minutes

and already I'm in a hot car.

I just wanted you

to come out in style, baby!

Take me to my tailor.

Very elegant, sir,

though you've put on a little weight.

Well, er... I've been in America.

- It's the bread in the hamburgers.

- Is that so?

Well, I'm glad you're out.

I mean, back.

I don't want to be rude, Charles,

but times have changed.

Adrian, when I went in

that was all the go.

What did you do? Life?

You know, you could put all these

in a museum.

I'll tell you what I'll do with you,

Adrian.

- I'll take this lot now.

- Revolting.

Eh? I'll take this lot now.

You wrap 'em up.

And will you shorten the sleeves,

love? I'm not a gorilla.

Yes! Well, there we are,

Captain Croker.

I think you'll find

we've kept it in perfect tone.

I'll run the engine for you,

shall I?

You'll be able to hear

what it sounds like.

- There, how's that?

- I say.

- Yes?

- I say.

- Hello?

There you are.

I thought I'd lost you!

No, I came round here.

Erm... I was just thinking,

maybe it needs a little more air

through the second carburettor.

- Oh, do you think so?

- Listen.

- Yes, maybe you're right. I'll...

- I'll do it. Just stay there.

Would you open the bonnet for me,

please? Thank you.

- I wonder if you'd hold this for me?

- The, er...?

- The bonnet.

- Of course.

Thank you.

- I didn't quite...

- Yes. There we are.

- You want me to...

- Hold. Thank you.

There we are.

- Now... Yes. I can, er...

- How are you doing?

I can see what's wrong.

It's very small.

No, I don't know. It's alright.

Leave it, leave it.

- Shall I...?

- Yes, you shut it and I'll lock it.

- Thank you.

- How are you doing?

- Long time since I was in here.

- I dare say! There we are.

I haven't been in this car

for so long.

Yes, I gather you've been in India

for two years, sir.

- Yes, shooting tigers.

- Really? Splendid.

The garage bill, sir.

- Yes?

- I'm afraid it's 200.

If you insist, we can charge it.

No. Please! There's a bounty

for shooting tigers.

- Well...

- Yes, it's 50 a head.

- Really? There's no need to pay...

- These are bundles of 200.

- There's no need to pay now.

- It's alright.

Yes, you must have

shot an awful lot of tigers, sir.

Yes, I used a machine gun.

Calling Mr R J Williams.

Mr Williams to Reception, please...

- Lord Croker. I am expected.

- Yes, Your Lordship. Suite 602.

And there's a message.

Thank you.

Hello, Charlie!

Shut the door, Charlie.

You'll cause a terrible draught.

Ladies?

- Charlie!

- Hello, Charlie!

- Love you, Charlie.

- Ciao!

- Nice Charlie.

- Good to see you, Charlie.

Well, I thought,

a coming-out present!

- Very nice.

- Now, what would you like?

Everything.

- Where's your old man?

- Dead.

In the Alps, in a car crash.

It wasn't an accident.

Oh. Well, there goes the job, then.

- Wait, Mr Croker.

- Yes, Mrs Beckerman?

This is for you.

What's this?

Some sort of a consolation prize?

Plans that my husband

didn't have time to complete.

- He wants you to finish them.

- Oh, he does, does he?

Tell me, erm... where do you figure

in the plans your husband

didn't have time to complete?

I don't. I am going to New York

tomorrow at 6:
00am.

Ah. Pity.

But... that still gives us

four hours to kill.

And you

still in your widow's weeds...

Charlie Croker, I am dead.

- Hello, Roger.

- I have arranged for my widow

- to get material to you in England.

- Yes, I got it.

There you must find the backing

to do the job.

You must, Charlie.

Because it is a work of genius.

Just think of it. A city in chaos,

a smash-and-grab raid

and four million dollars

through a traffic jam.

- Four million dollars?

This is the city of Turin,

the industrial capital of Italy.

The most modern in Europe, famed for

its architecture, and soon, I trust,

for the greatest robbery

of the 20th century.

This is the FIAT armoured convoy.

It leaves Turin airport every week.

It never carries

less than four million dollars.

I think we could take that over.

To reach its destination

the convoy has to travel

through one of the busiest

traffic systems in Europe,

a system

controlled by television cameras

and by the computer in this building,

the Turin Traffic Control Centre.

If you can get into this room,

Charlie,

you will cause the biggest traffic

jam in the history of the world.

Every street will be paralysed.

And then you will have a chance

to ambush that convoy.

Very nice.

Now, Charlie,

first you neutralise the TV cameras

which overlook the convoy's route.

You do this

with these little gadgets here. Look.

- Yeah.

- Second,

you break into the computer building

and substitute this new program.

- Got it.

- This causes the jam.

Right.

Third, you attack the convoy in your

own inimitable way, Charlie.

And fourth, you escape,

on the only route out of the city

which is not blocked up with traffic.

You'll find details of the route

in this portfolio.

Within just two hours, you will be

over the Alps and into Switzerland.

And within three you'll have

the money safe in a Geneva bank.

- Make it work, Charlie!

- I will, Roger.

Four million dollars,

through a traffic jam.

Money received from Brighton

is 15,000.

- Hello. Camp Freddie?

- Croker! Aren't you in Italy?

- I want to see Bridger.

- Mr Bridger to you.

I've got a job.

If it's the GPO, City Road,

it's being done next week.

This job is bigger than anything

Bridger's done up until now.

If it's the Bank of England,

it's out.

Mr Bridger's very worried

about the economy.

Exactly, Freddie!

Tell Bridger this is a foreign job

to help with this country's

balance of payments.

Charlie, I don't think

you have the kind of scheme

that yields the size of profit

Mr Bridger is accustomed to.

But, Freddie, this job is big.

Charlie, you wouldn't even know

how to spell big.

B-I-G. Big.

Now, Butch Harry,

tell us about Fulham.

Well, now... Fulham.

A bit dodgy at the moment.

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