The Italian Job Page #13

He might as well have said they'll steal the Holy Grail

before sunrise.

HANDSOME ROB:

Charlie. He could take a dozen different

routes to the airport and we have no idea

which one. We can't take out an armored

truck during rush hour.

CHARLIE:

We're already set to do it. Napster:

how would you like to create the biggest

traffic jam in the history of Los

Angeles?

LYLE:

Keep talking.

CHARLIE:

You gridlock every route except the one

we choose. Force the truck to go exactly

.where we want it to go.

HANDSOME ROB:

But where do we want it? We can't shoot

it out with armed guards in a Brink's.

We'd lose.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:
(2)

HANDSOME ROB (CONT'D)

And even if we pulled it off, the cops

would be all over us, chasing us all the

way to Union Station. We're outmanned

and outgunned.

CHARLIE:

But not outsmarted.

Charlie hums with focused energy. There's a term for it in

horse racing. When a thoroughbred is at peak condition, and

twitching with eagerness to run, he is ""on the muscle." That

describes Charlie right now.

CHARLIE {CONT'D)

We'll do it like the Italian job. We'll

make thirty million in gold drop out of

sight.

They're interrupted by Charlie's cell phone RINGING. This

throws them all off.

CHARLIE:

Who else has this number?

HALF-EAR

No one but us.

It's still RINGING. Charlie decides to answer it.

CHARLIE:

Hello?

INT. OFFICE -PHILADELPHIA -INTERCUT

Meet PHILLY STEAK. Or at least meet the back of his neck.

Because that's where he has a tatoo that says PHILLY STEAK.

PHILLY STEAK:

Why'd you do it?

CHARLIE:

(informing the crew)

Philly Steak.

(then into phone)

Do what?

OUR CAMERA TRACKS AROUND to Philly Steak's face which is

weathered and as leathery as a football. An old school

crook.

PHILLY STEAK:

Yevhen. The Ukrainian gold, dealer. You

didn't, have to clip him, for Christ's

sakes.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUEDONTINUED:

CHARLIE:

Clip him?

PHILLY STEAK:

Listen to me. You've gotta get out of

L.A. Now.

CHARLIE:

What're you talking about? We didn't

clip anybody.

PHILLY STEAK:

Well Skinny Pete just called me.

Yevhen's cousin is under the distinct

impression that you did.

CHARLIE:

Why does he think that?

PHILLY STEAK:

Because you wanted, to know about the gold

with the Balinese Girl. Plus I guess

Pete was under duress. This Ukrainian

thinks he's PaXil F***ing Bunyan.

CHARLIE:

Do you know how to get in touch with him?

PHILLY STEAK:

Yeah but ~

CHARLIE:

Maybe there's a way we can play this to

our advantage.

PHILLY STEAK:

Are you out of your mind? Listen to me,

Charlie. Get out of L.A. Now. Cause if

there's one thing I know, it's that you

never mess with Mother Nature, mother-inlaws,

or mother-f***ing Ukrainians.

INT. SAFE HOUSE -MORNING

Speaking of— Five Ukrainians lock 'n load their MAC-11

machine pistols plus an M4 carbine with a 40mm grenade

launcher mounted beneath the barrel. Mashkov enters the room

and tells the others in SUBTITLED UKRAINIAN.

MASHKOV:

He's going to be on Train 59 for New

Orleans.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

UKRAINIAN:

You sure your source is good?

MASHKOV:

I'm sure.

CUT TO:

INT. DANYA'S HOUSE -MORNING

The home where the porno was made. Karen, wearing a backpack

stuffed with her only belongings, creeps into the kitchen

with two 3/4" videotapes in hand.

She sets them down on the counter. They say MASTER TAPE on

the labels. She opens the microwave oven. Puts the tapes

inside. Sets the timer for 60 minutes at the highest level

and presses the start button.

As the videotapes start to cook, we watch Karen flee out the

door.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD AT HIGHLAND -DAY

The U-Haul is parked on the side of the noisy, congested

boulevard. A large metal sheet is now mounted on the side of

the panel truck. .

HIGH ANGLE. Parked behind the U-Haul are two of the Minis

and Lyle's Vespa. We see traffic flowing through the busy

intersection next to the vehicles. Then WE BOOM DOWN, really

fast, right into the black pavement and —

THROUGH THE DARKNESS and out the other side, so we are now

underground in the middle of the —

METRO RAIL TUNNEL

where Half-Ear is at work, mounting Nitramon primer to the

tunnel walls, Charlie assisting. They both wear orange

jumpsuits, plus headsets and mics.

HALF-EAR

Did you know Einstein7 s 7th grade teacher

told him he was a moron who'd never

amount to anything? Same as mine.

CHARLIE:

Still hope for that Nobel Prize.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

HALF-EAR

Not me, man. But I did get my college

diploma.

CHARLIE:

No sh*t. I thought you dropped out of

high school.

HALF-EAR

Got my GED after Italy then just kept

going.

CHARLIE:

How'd you manage that, all the jobs we've

been pulling?

HALF-EAR

Quit going to strip clubs. Went to

night school instead. City college is

all.

CHARLIE:

Good for you. That's a real feather in

your cap.

HALF-EAR

I didn't want to say anything to the

guys.

There's a RUMBLING SOUND in the distance.

CHARLIE:

Secret's safe with me.

The RUMBLING grows unbearable as a Metro roars closer,

headlights gobbling up the dark tunnel. They press

themselves into a crevice in the wall.

With a ROAR and a gust of wind, the Metro howls by. It makes

their jaws clatter.

INT. U-HAUL (PARKED) -DAY

Stella's in the cargo area with Lyle who's working his

laptop. It's monitor displays a string of computer code. He

HEARS over his headset:

CHARLIE (V.O.)

Napster. How goes it up there? Over.

LYLE:

Working on the Metro Rail system. Almost

ready.

EXT. MARAVILLA DRIVE -SAME TIME

Handsome Rob's Mini is parked on the side of the winding

road. Using binoculars, he looks down onto Oporto Drive at

Steve's house. Into his headset:

HANDSOME ROB:

Everything's quiet here. Over.

INT. METRO RAIL TUNNEL -DAY

The Nitramon is applied. Half-Ear closes his eyes. Charlie

observes him a moment.

CHARLIE:

You okay?

HALF-EAR

Ah huh. Just need a moment' s meditation.

CHARLIE:

Now?

HALF-EAR

I'm about to insert a wire into a

detonator tube and if the wire touches

the sides of tube, we'll be blown to

Kingdom Come. Best to be at one with

yourself.

CHARLIE:

Take all the time you need.

Another moment, then Half-Ear sets to work. Charlie holds a

mini-flashlight, illuminating the intricate detonator. Very

carefully, he inserts a wire into a tube. Remember, the wire

must not touch the sides.

The wire is half-way in when a LARGE SPIDER drops onto his

hand. Frozen, he ponders this.

Charlie sees the spider, doesn't know what to do.

Half~Ear studies the spider...then he closes his eyes just a

moment.. .relaxes. ..breathes in> breathes out. . . and then —

He leans forward, opens his mouth and clamps his lips over

the spider, comes back up. Finishes inserting the wire.

Job done, he calmly opens his mouth/ the spider puts a hairy

leg out and delicately explores his cheek. Half-Ear plucks

it off just as delicately, depositing the spider on the wall.

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